The Facepuncher's Guide to Women and How to Make Whoopy With Them. - General

This thread is obviously inspired by the "How Do You Get Girls" thread, but this one will actually be good. In this thread I will compile a large list of tips and tricks to getting mad chicks around you. But I'll need your help. And yours. Feel free to post whatever shit you've done to make girls not think you're a fat retard like most men. I'll start it out with about 1-5 tips of my own. Or however many I can think of. fuck it.) [b]THE FUCKING LIST:[/b] [b]TIP 1:[/b] Roofies Now that that's out of the way we can stop acting like the bunch of sex starved faggots we are. [b]TIP 2:[/b] Look good This might seem obvious but a lot of people don't seem to get it. Any man that isn't terribly deformed can be an attractive one. There are two kinds of men that women like. The clean cut or the scruffy and muscular thighed. There's no inbetween. Cut your metalfag hair, Get rid of your dirt stache or grow a real beard, and start washing your face you goddamn acne ridden freak. [b]TIP 3:[/b] Dress well Even if you don't care at all about 'fashion,' you have to know current trends and generally what looks good. This isn't really something I can explain in the time I've given myself to do this (2 minutes). But the idea is pretty simple. You know that trenchcoats don't look good. Cut that shit out. Quit buying shoes at Wal-Mart and get better fitting jeans. Most importantly, be interesting and unique. If you insist on wearing band shirts have them be something obscure. Wear fucked up vintage clothes and claim they're from your great grandfather who was a time traveler. Make your sense of style a conversation starter, and make sure that conversation is a good one. [b]TIP 4:[/b] Get a fucking hobby Have something interesting to talk about. If you know a lot about anything, people will listen. Women like intriguing, intelligent men. Know shit. Read anything you can get your hands on. Books, mysterious .pdf files, news sites, random wikipedia pages. There is so much cool shit in the world and no excuse for not wanting to learn all of it. Have a thing. I know a guy who's gotten laid more than once with his extensive knowledge of remote control airplanes. If you're talking to girls worth dating / sleeping with, they will be interested in anything you can offer them. "Hey, why don't we get out of here and I'll show you some of my chewed gum paintings. I have quite an art show in my apartment." Then BAM. SEX HAPPENS. Actually no, but you get it. This DOES NOT mean you can expect to pick up chicks by showing off your extensive collection of first generation yu-gi-oh cards. Grow the fuck up before you try this, please. POST MOAR and if they don't suck they will go here.

Sex advice from FP? Ok.

[QUOTE=Ali Legend;23923610]Sex advice from FP? Ok.[/QUOTE] +1 good reading

Rohypnol

but how do you sex

[QUOTE=Mr. Gestapo;23923663]Rohypnol[/QUOTE] added

Love Advice

[QUOTE=weed demon;23923594] [b]TIP 4:[/b] Get a fucking hobby Have something interesting to talk about. If you know a lot about anything, people will listen. Women like intriguing, intelligent men. Know shit. Read anything you can get your hands on. Books, mysterious .pdf files, news sites, random wikipedia pages. There is so much cool shit in the world and no excuse for not wanting to learn all of it. Have a thing. I know a guy who's gotten laid more than once with his extensive knowledge of remote control airplanes. If you're talking to girls worth dating / sleeping with, they will be interested in anything you can offer them. "Hey, why don't we get out of here and I'll show you some of my chewed gum paintings. I have quite an art show in my apartment." Then BAM. SEX HAPPENS. Actually no, but you get it. [/QUOTE] BRB impressing chicks with my airsoft guns. Not.

The art of making whoopy.

point one and point 2 are relative. point 3 mostly work if the stuff you kno shitz about is cool. videogames --> not cool motorbikes --> cool the most important part, imo, is BE CLEAN. AKA: your dress-out doesn't matter if you look dirty and smell bad. Because you know most of the facepunchers probably look dirty and smell bad.

[QUOTE=Zoidbear;23923756]but how do you sex[/QUOTE] liek dees :huh:

Flunitrazepam is where it's at. I get laid every night.

[QUOTE=lapsus_;23923825]point one and point 2 are relative. point 3 mostly work if the stuff you kno shitz about is cool. videogames --> not cool motorbikes --> cool the most important part, imo, is BE CLEAN. AKA: your dress-out doesn't matter if you look dirty and smell bad. Because you know most of the facepunchers probably look dirty and smell bad.[/QUOTE] yeah, I fixed number 4 after I read the airsoft post. and I adressed the clean thing a little in the second.

[QUOTE=weed demon;23923594]Wear fucked up vintage clothes and [b]claim they're from your great grandfather who was a time traveler.[/b] [/QUOTE] Gets me laid every time.

Cool, another one Here's a collection: [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=979451[/url] [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=863093[/url] [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=863289[/url] [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=797829[/url]

I compose music,and listen to alot of different styles of music.will this get me girls?(I also play piano,guitar,trumpet, a little drums and sing a little)

[QUOTE=XxAthrunxX;23924279]I compose music,and listen to alot of different styles of music.will this get me girls?(I also play piano,guitar,trumpet, a little drums and sing a little)[/QUOTE] dude just start a band. mission complete.

[QUOTE=weed demon;23924372]dude just start a band. mission complete.[/QUOTE] yeah I would,if I found anyone who wants to join :smith:

[QUOTE=XxAthrunxX;23924279]I compose music,and listen to alot of [B]d[/B][B]ifferent styles of music[/B].will this get me girls?(I also play piano,guitar,trumpet, a little drums and sing a little)[/QUOTE] It will help to have a wide and flexible taste in music when she ends up liking bad music.

Show us your girlfriend. Then we can believe you.

you forgot about doing a mating call every 194 minutes

[QUOTE=weed demon;23923594]Wear fucked up vintage clothes and claim they're from your great grandfather who was a time traveler. [/QUOTE] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=206SLbtErwc[/media] f only it was in english

[QUOTE=Richy19;23925681][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=206SLbtErwc[/media] f only it was in english[/QUOTE] I was too distracted by his twitchy hand to try to read lips.

Not to sound like a massive faggot but wearing a trillby hat is an excellent conversation starter people notice you also if your the only one there with one on, it also gives a bit of character, I always wear one whenever im headed to a party (dont wear it day-to-day though it takes away the magnificence of it).

What the shit is whoopy.

It's what's inside hat counts. [editline]01:03AM[/editline] That's what my mum always says when we're hanging out on a saturday night :sigh:

[QUOTE=lapsus_;23923825]motorbikes --> cool[/QUOTE] I beg to differ, chicks don't dig men who talk about crankshafts, oil changes and cornering with them.

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;23923794]BRB impressing chicks with my airsoft guns. Not.[/QUOTE] Oh man just wait until she sees my tower in Minecraft

FP guide on how to be a manwhore and treat girls as objects. Sex is so much better if you're being yourself with someone and there's more of an emotional level to it.

Good body, money, nice car = getting laid every night.