• Wrote a short story what should i add next? (story not done)
    7 replies, posted
[B]Le Story (the begging is retarded i just randomly started writing) [/B] Il just make a giant mess and then probably slip on said mess and after slipping i might fall into a dark Cassini set witch covers a massive hole in the ground. This hole might lead deep into the core of the earth were fire people might live and thrive. they probably have a economy of some sort and live off of a incect or parasite. Or who knows they might eat the rocks themselfs it they see fit. As i fall il probably gaze at the ritch dimonds and emurals witch cover the wall jutting out making me wonder if i might break my fragile body by hitting one. This thought aside i never really thought about how long i was falling. But i did know i wouldent be getting back this way. Infact i might not want to go back. I might fall into a lake of shimmering waters and a race of fishlike people perhaps mermaids or crab people. What ever lies at the bottom of this pit i had a 1 way ticket there and i wosent turning back. I could see a variaty of colors comming from the bottom of the pit as i gazzed into its eye catchingness. I could feel the tempurature lower rapidly. My brain emediatly thought i was in trouble... The panic set in i started to relize what happened. and if anyone would notice that i was gone at all. I woke up with a slight headache and my summer clothes on.. A few steps away from me was my trusty old pocket knife. it had a wood stawk with a cast iron blade. It was old but reliable. Then i relized i stopped falling and lay on a low layer of snow.. I looked around i was in a froozen tundra.. with the largest mountains iv ever seen to the north and south. In the west it was plains and to the east it looked like a froozen lake with some structure in the middle. I desided i would head to the structure because i was ineed of shelter from the elements. My summer tank top and shorts not providing as good sheilds from the snow. I got to the shore of the lake and pressed onwords to the strange structure. It was made of stone i could tell that from the looks. It also looked very old because of its simple design. The roof was in the shape of a triangle though. This messed with my head a bit. How could it be old yet have a intrecit design? Maybe some snow people lived there? Also this made me think of the past events of how rediculas this was and how i got here. The stone building was soo close i could taste it.. I pressed onwords the wind and snow seeming to keep me back but i was deturmened to get to the structure.. brianwashed... it made me think that if i got to it i would magicaly leave this hellish tundra. I arrived at the small door... then i saw the drag marks on the wall and scratch marks in the stone...Shivvers went down my back.. I staired into the dark abis waiting to see something waiting for something to happen. I debated going in. Put one foot in and again got chills. After that experience i looked back seeing a fast moving shadow. Frawkiling around in the froozen tundra of evil. I got startled and walked backwords falling into the dark stone doorway. My body banged up agaisnt a wooden box down a set of stairs.. The light from the door was my only souce of seeing. I jumped to my feet and pulled out the pocket knife.. it was quiet..I noticed the box and dragged it up the stairs. It was surprising light. weighing around 40 pounds. I got it up to the front of the stone structure. It looked old and had 2 massive leather straps holding it close. I undid the straps and opened the lid being carefull not to break it. Inside was a laturn and 2 bottles of laturn oil.A box in tinders. A old fur touke and some leather boots insilated with fur. I put the clothing on then continued looking through the box. I found a note witch read "To the following who comes across this" Please use these suplies you will need them in your jurney Be kind and leave a something behind in the box just like the person before you has Thank you. Sinserialy Ventul I tossed the letter aside and continued in my looting. At the bottom was a massive stone slap witch seemed like it took up the whole bottem. There was no easy way of looking underneith it so i stopped there. I filled the laturn up with 1 bottle of oil and plumeted into the dark stone doorway to what ever lays ahead of me. The walls of the cave were moist and smelled like a tropical fungi. There was a small group of mushrooms growing in the corner of the first chamber. I snached them up thinking they might provide a source of food if worst comes to worse. I gazzed around at the chamber. There were chains and shackles covering the wall. I wondered what this old tomb was used for. Or if it was still in use. I continued on my way out of the chamber into a small hallway witch looked like it went for half a kelometor. I was halfway down the long drujjy hallway when the roof above me started to give way. I dashed quickly forwords hoping to escape if the tunnel callapses i sprinted and dived as soon as i hurd a loud sound behind me. I got to my feet and was shrouted in a sea of dust. I waiting for the clearing and said a smart ass remark and continued on my way deeper into this strange new world. As i came to the end of the god for sacken tunnel i heard some scurring ahead of he. I crouched down and stopped in my tracks. I waiting to see if i would here more sounds from ahead. Then i heard footsteps or rather a animals paws steping along the stone floor. The animal didnt sound to big by the sound of its footprints. At that point i desided this creature or whatever it was is going to be my dinner. I put my lantern out and let my eyes ajust to the light. Then i relized some small cracks in the roof of the beast lair. This would make putting down the monstosity ahead easier. I neared the enterence. I quietly peeked around the corner to see a dog like creature. It was about the size of a golden retrever. It actually just went to bed. Just my luck time to strike and take the beast down with my trusty knife. I leeped apon the creature with the might of 1000 men visiously stapping at its neck and body. I think it was more fear then courage that made me win that battle. In a swift blow the mysterious beast had been slain and my victory was complete. I used some of the tinder to relight my oil lanturn so see my prize kill.. To my surprise the beast was a tinberwolf. Mostly grey with a blackhead. The fur around its neck was soaked in blood and started to make a awful mess on the ground. I looked around the slain wolfs lair to find lots of old skeletons of small rodents and in the far back corner thats where i saw it... I human skeleton leaned up against the wall. Its legs missing and its ribs ripped to shreads. Hes been here awhile i could tell. There was no meat on him and he smelled like a dieing animal.. or maybe that was the wolf i dont really know. I went back to cut up my kill and skin it for heating.I made a few quick cuts and laid out the fur. After about 20 minutes of cutting i was done and desided to explore the rest of the room since the hallway was caved in. I found a leather backpack sort of thing on the skeletons back. I took jitter bones prized possesion and then relized this might be Ventul who left the note in the chest i found above ground. I felt sorry for the old guy... or maybe Ventul was a girl. It haddent accured to me. But eather way there wore other people in this strange new world. I searched jitter bones backpack. It contained a pencil some feathers and a flint rock and some wood. That was all i needed to feast. I pilled the lumber into a teepee and struck the flint rock with my knife makeing a inpressing amount of sparks. I had fire. and with this fire i got a unhealthy amount of comfert for being possibly stuck in a underground wolf infested crypt of death. Just my luck to stumple apon a hole. I put my mind to more serious things and started to cook some of the wolf. I left it on the fire to cook as i explored to see if i could possibly escape some how. There were cracks in the roof but i cant reach that. So that option is out. Theres a pathway but im my consiness tells me that there might be another cave in knowing how reliable this old one of a kind top quallty mine is. I went back to the fire after my walk about and the meat looked about ready. I feasted never felizing how hungry i really was. But i conserved about 7/8ths of the wolf knowing it might be my only food besides the moshrooms that i was still egye about eating and even touching in that matter. I was getting tiered and desided my body needed rest. I put some more wood in the fire so it would last the night blew my laturn out. Put the backpack up like a sorta pellow and layed down to rest. [B]Please feel free to tell me idea's you have to add or what you thought of it. Thanks for you time. :smile: [/B]
I'd recommend that you learn to spell.
oh god im crying that was fucking AMAZING
OP is 11.
contact an agent this is gold new york times bestseller on first day
[QUOTE=Zarjk;31655086]OP is 11.[/QUOTE] Actually im 4
I'd say OP is 12 from looking at avatar, but seeing how he edited it I'd say he's 13.
[quote]lanturn consiness ritch dimonds [/quote] Please tell me you're not actually American. Even if you're not it's still sad.
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