Conservative constitution of the United States Of America - General

[quote=Washington Post]We, the Real Americans, in order to form a more God-Fearing Union, establish Justice as we see it, Defeat Health-Care Reform, and Preserve and Protect our Property, our Guns and our Right Not to Pay Taxes, do ordain and establish this Conservative Constitution for the United States of Real America. [B]Article I.[/B] ~Congress shall have only the powers literally, specifically and expressly granted herein, and no others. That means definitely, without question, absolutely, no regulation of the Health Insurance or Financial Services industries. ~The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, elected not directly by the People, but by other people whom the People have elected to better represent the People. ~Any law enacted by Congress and signed by the President may be overturned by the vote of three or more States if they find it burdensome, offensive, annoying or in any way touching on Health Insurance, Property Rights or Guns. ~Congress shall have no power to raise Taxes except on February 29, and then only if all the People of the United States approve such a measure unanimously, in writing and in English. ~Congress shall balance the Federal Budget, preferably by eliminating the Departments of Labor, Energy, Education and State. ~The preceding provision shall not apply to spending for the Department of Defense, appropriations for which shall increase three times as quickly as the growth in gross domestic product and upon the approval of House leadership in conference with Boeing, Halliburton, the Ashcroft Group and Kissinger Associates. ~Arizona shall have the power to regulate Immigration. [B]Article II.[/B] ~No person except a natural-born Citizen who can produce video, photographic or eyewitness evidence of birth in a non-island American State shall be eligible to the Office of President. ~The President shall faithfully execute the laws, except when, as Commander in Chief, he decides he'd really rather not. ~The President shall not negotiate any Treaty without first receiving a signed and notarized note granting him permission, personally executed by every member of the Senate and the House, all 50 Governors and the editorial board of the Weekly Standard. [B]Article III.[/B] ~Judges shall strictly construe this Constitution, and we mean strictly, and shall under no circumstances cite, refer to, read or mention at cocktail parties or cookouts any principle or provision of International Law. This Story ~Suspected Terrorists shall be taken to Guantanamo and drawn and quartered in a public ceremony. Trials are optional, but if they occur, must be conducted in a Military Tribunal in which coerced statements are admissible so long as they support a Guilty verdict. [B]AMENDMENTS[/B] 1. Congress shall make no law abridging the Freedom of Speech, except where citizens desecrate the Flag of the United States; respecting an establishment of Religion, except to support Christian schools, religious apparitions in food products and the display of crosses and creches in public places; or abridging the free exercise of Religion, except to block the construction of mosques in sensitive areas as determined by Florida Pastors or the Fox News Channel. 2. The right to bear Semi-Automatic Weapons, AK-47s or Bazookas shall not be infringed by background checks, safety locks, age limits or common sense. 3. The right of Corporations, Hedge Funds, Business Leaders and Lobbyists to spend endless cash on campaigns and influence-purchasing shall not be infringed. The so-called right of Unions to associate shall be denied as fundamentally un-American and contrary to the agenda of the Chamber of Commerce. 4. Marriage and the benefits thereof shall be restricted to the Union of a Man and a Woman, consecrated in a Christian house of worship, with vows to expose any and all progeny to daily viewings of Bill O'Reilly. 5. All persons born or naturalized in the United States are Citizens of the United States of Real America only if their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents were Citizens, and only if they pledge opposition to Health Insurance Reform or New Taxation. Any Citizen convicted of providing material support to Terrorist organizations, wearing clothing bearing images created by Shepard Fairey, or displaying Nancy Pelosi bumper stickers shall be stripped of Citizenship. 6. Aliens, of this world or another, shall have none of the rights guaranteed herein to Citizens. 7. Corporations shall have all of the rights guaranteed herein to Citizens, and then some. 8. No White Male shall be denied equal protection of the law through Affirmative Action or otherwise. In keeping with the intent of the Framers, as discerned by the Honorable Justice Antonin Scalia, distinctions on the basis of sex shall not be deemed to deny equal protection. 9. The right to be uninsured and make other people pay the costs of one's Health Care shall not be infringed under any circumstances. 10. Congress shall make no law limiting Americans' right to warm the Planet by using all the energy they darn well please. 11. The Unborn shall have the rights to life, to vote, to bear arms, to practice Religion except in a mosque in Lower Manhattan (see First Amendment) and to make campaign contributions, but once the child is born, it shall have no rights if it is an Alien (see Sixth Amendment). 12. No one may be required to do anything He or She does not want to do. Ever. Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the Members present the Sixth Day of January in the Year of our Lord Two Thousand and Eleven. In witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our names, [sp][REDACTED] [/sp][/quote] Saw this in the Washington post yesterday. Sound good?

[QUOTE=Jiyoon;27339962]Sound good?[/QUOTE] No.

Link to original please.

sounds bitchy and overly satirical

Real America is Best America. But really this is stupid.

Yes

[QUOTE=Jiyoon;27339962]Saw this in the Washington post yesterday. [/QUOTE] "The right to bear Semi-Automatic Weapons, AK-47s or Bazookas shall not be infringed by background checks, safety locks, age limits or common sense." [QUOTE=Jiyoon;27339962]Sound good?[/QUOTE] Absolutely!

[QUOTE=acidcj;27339984]Link to original please.[/QUOTE] [img]http://thinkprogress.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/const.jpg.gif[/img] edit: oh wait [url]http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/06/AR2011010602485_2.html?sid=ST2011010402167[/url]

[QUOTE=kevn150;27339985]sounds bitchy and overly satirical[/QUOTE] This too, they tried to hard and it's unbelievable after the preamble.

Ho. Ho. Ho. I am laughing at this because it is in fact satirical and mocks the conservatives beliefs! Not only do they support foolish beliefs, but they are dumb as well! go democrats

-oh snip-

Well, that was dumb. Thanks WSJ

[QUOTE=Passerby Silver;27340023]Maybe I just don't get American Politics (I study British Politics), but uhh, isn't that a little pointless and long winded? Just have the people elect the two people straight to the Senate.[/QUOTE] they wanted a balance of a republic and a democracy so they created the electoral college

This is funny.

[QUOTE=Richard Simmons;27340029]Well, that was dumb. Thanks WSJ[/QUOTE] Reagan taught us that deficits don't matter oh you're cool, editing your post because of the logical fallacy that is "HURR DURR HELTH CARE WILL BANKRUPT US" Only under your ineffective small ass government. We have big government to tax us for it.

[QUOTE=kevn150;27340010]Ho. Ho. Ho.[/QUOTE] Santa Claus is a democrat?

I don't understand what this big stifle about Health care reform is. Okay, I know.. we need to regulate some of the insurance industry. Like the "high-risk" bullshit, and "if you use it, we'll charge you up the ass. If you don't, we'll still charge you up the ass but at a lower rate" business tactic needs to be abolished. But the government supplying health care has more strain on the financial budget than what good it'll do. I am also a conservative. I believe in small government. And no, I do not believe in the GOP. Bunch of retards hording more retards.

problem is that the democratic party is a bunch of pricks who refuse to actually cooperate with the republicans, but rather focus on the ones who lack a few iq points (cough tea party cough) and use them as a "primary example" of all republicans to swing votes republicans are also pricks who hold up some ridiculous beliefs who use the media to make democrats seem like complete idiots on live television this doesnt work

[QUOTE=Richard Simmons;27340087]I don't understand what this big stifle about Health care reform is. Okay, I know.. we need to regulate some of the insurance industry. Like the "high-risk" bullshit, and "if you use it, we'll charge you up the ass. If you don't, we'll still charge you up the ass but at a lower rate" business tactic needs to be abolished. But the government supplying health care has more strain on the financial budget than what good it'll do. I am also a conservative. I believe in small government. And no, I do not believe in the GOP. Bunch of retards hording more retards.[/QUOTE] No, a huge fucking defense budget that's overbloated for a globalistic economy with pointless wars in the middle east is what's causing a strain on our economy. [editline]10th January 2011[/editline] [QUOTE=kevn150;27340111]problem is that the democratic party is a bunch of pricks who refuse to actually cooperate with the republicans, but rather focus on the ones who lack a few iq points (cough tea party cough) and use them as a "primary example" of all republicans to swing votes republicans are also pricks who hold up some ridiculous beliefs who use the media to make democrats seem like complete idiots on live television this doesnt work[/QUOTE] American bipartisanship would made Marx and Lenin laugh, because It proves the effectiveness of vanguard parties.

[QUOTE=Jiyoon;27340125]No, a huge fucking defense budget that's overbloated for a globalistic economy with pointless wars in the middle east is what's causing a strain on our economy.[/QUOTE] And slapping a government funded health-care bill is totally going to help. Because guess which one of these gets removed first: 1) Huge defense budget 2) Pointless wars in middle east 3) Lavish parties with underage boys 4) Health care

[QUOTE=Richard Simmons;27340177]And slapping a government funded health-care bill is totally going to help. Because guess which one of these gets removed first: 1) Huge defense budget 2) Pointless wars in middle east 3) Lavish parties with underage boys 4) Health care[/QUOTE] Hopefully all but 4? Or we could actually raise taxes to fund it. Seriously, it's as if the republicans WANT us to be in debt.

Edit: I can't believe I missed the blatant satire.

[QUOTE=Jiyoon;27339962]Saw this in the Washington post yesterday. Sound good?[/QUOTE] No. I read the first few lines and almost exploded at the sheer ignorance. Whoever wrote that would have you believe you can legally act on something if it's not expressively written down - you can't. It may not be "correct" but to take the right to do that when there is none granted is just dangerous. There would be no end to what abuses could happen. It's also why the US is such a mess right now.

[QUOTE=Richard Simmons;27340177]And slapping a government funded health-care bill is totally going to help. Because guess which one of these gets removed first: 1) Huge defense budget 2) Pointless wars in middle east 3) Lavish parties with underage boys 4) Health care[/QUOTE] Well, earlier you said that the US government would be providing healthcare, so I don't think you really know what's going on. Please read from [url=http://www.healthcare.gov/]this website[/url].

[QUOTE=Richard Simmons;27340177]And slapping a government funded health-care bill is totally going to help. Because guess which one of these gets removed first: 1) Huge defense budget 2) Pointless wars in middle east 3) Lavish parties with underage boys 4) Health care[/QUOTE] Thats why we should take out the first 3.

[QUOTE=Jenkem;27340281]No. I read the first few lines and almost exploded at the sheer ignorance. Whoever wrote that would have you believe you can legally act on something if it's not expressively written down - you can't. It may not be "correct" but to take the right to do that when there is none granted is just dangerous. There would be no end to what abuses could happen. It's also why the US is such a mess right now.[/QUOTE] And you have never seen the Necessary and Proper Clause. Printing paper money is an extrapolated power from coining money for Christ's sake. The US government simply could not function using only expressed powers.

[QUOTE=Jiyoon;27340125]No, a huge fucking defense budget that's overbloated for a globalistic economy with pointless wars in the middle east is what's causing a strain on our economy.[/QUOTE] How does a large defense budget strain the economy?

[QUOTE=Jiyoon;27339962]Sound good?[/QUOTE] Not in the slightest.

[QUOTE=Spikesandhands;27339997]"The right to bear Semi-Automatic Weapons, AK-47s or Bazookas shall not be infringed by background checks, safety locks, age limits or common sense." Absolutely![/QUOTE] Where is this magical place and how do I go about moving there? (Just kidding, Nevada is like a 5 hour drive from me)

[QUOTE=Jenkem;27340281]No. I read the first few lines and almost exploded at the sheer ignorance. Whoever wrote that would have you believe you can legally act on something if it's not expressively written down - you can't. It may not be "correct" but to take the right to do that when there is none granted is just dangerous. There would be no end to what abuses could happen. It's also why the US is such a mess right now.[/QUOTE] [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution[/url]