[b]Intro[/b]
[img]http://www.mimifroufrou.com/scentedsalamander/images/Axe-Dark-Temptation.jpg[/img]
[quote]AXE Dark Temptation combines the subtle aroma of chocolate with fresh gourmet scents, including hot chocolate amber and red peppercorn, to bring modern sophistication to this distinctive fragrance.
So go ahead, try New AXE Dark Temptation and become as irresistible as chocolate![/quote]
Now you may be thinking "Gee Identity, how can I use this to help me get some poo-nay-nay?"
Well the answer is simple my little Facepuncher, apply lovingly. Spray it everywhere. Your face, arms, chest, balls, literally everywhere. You should apply about two cans per day. That way the chocolate sent is literally irradiating off of you, and will attract ladies for miles*.
*Please note I do not guarantee how they will look. They could be hot, or they could be a fatty looking for some choco-lovin'. ALWAYS remember the "Bag and Tag" technique- If her face is horrible and you can't stand the sight of it, brown bag it.
Now let us move on to where it can be used:
[b]Location, Location, Location[/b]
A school is a great place to start (note: this is for the younger crowd. I do not condone pedophilia in any way, shape or form).
Elementary School- Nope, you guys are too young for this one. Sorry, but even if you did get a girl using this, she'll dump you quicker than you dump your tray after lunch. Get used to it.
Middle School- Now this is a 50/50 area. Middle Schoolers are generally annoying, with high pitched voices, shitty music taste, and fashion styles that Michael Myers would stab you for. Use as directed, but be cautious. These are the times where hormones kick in kiddies.
High School- This is where the fun begins. This is nicknamed the "Cabbage Patch of Pussy". Most of the High School crowd is looking to get laid around now. Students, teachers, administration, doesn't matter. Use Axe at your digression. Put on however much you deem fit. Remember, a two can minimum. Anything after that is up to you.
College- Girls by now are grown up, and are looking for a man who can add some spice to her life. What better way to do that, than at $4 body spray that smells like something she loves during her PMS weeks?
Remember, just because she has PMS, doesn't mean she can't give blowies.
The high school location applies here as well.
[b] Using Dark Temptations in the workplace [/b]
Looking for a raise? Looking for the secretary Karen to give you a raise in the supply closet? Perfect! Dark Temptations (how perfect could the name be?) will help you achieve just that.
Your female co-workers will literally become moist as you walk past them, making them want you even more. Be careful of the tricky ones though. Nothing hurts like a Sexual Harassment suit.
This guide is still in progress and will include testimonials at a later date.
[b] Stay classy, Facepunch[/b]
[img]http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3533/3278190418_9c4af1d75e.jpg[/img]
Note*: The people who rate "funny" get the point of the thread.
I wish I had $8:(
I don't use Axe after I started getting a rash every time I applied it.
[QUOTE=Nallin;21440740]I don't use Axe after I started getting a rash every time I applied it.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a personal problem.
[QUOTE=Identity;21440746]Sounds like a personal problem.[/QUOTE]
that was a reference to athf
Axe can not get you laid.
[QUOTE=SkynrdFan1;21440756]that was a reference to athf[/QUOTE]
Hence my avatar. Ha
[QUOTE=Identity;21440746]Sounds like a personal problem.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like natural selection to me, only the genetically superior male specimens are suitable for breeding.
Axe smells terrible.
I'd rather cover my body with pepper spray.
You can also spray Axe:DT on foods for that choco-smell.
I have this shit, use it and it never fucking works.
Its a scam guys don't fucking buy it
Fucking cocksucking piece of shit axe motherfucking 8 dollars I'll never get back
"Have sex with me or I swear to god I'll start spraying AXE around".
Should work.
[QUOTE=Zeke129;21440826]"Have sex with me or I swear to god I'll start spraying AXE around".
Should work.[/QUOTE]
Exactly the main principle.
Axe smells like shit. It didn't even turn me into a giant person made of chocolate. How's that for false advertising?
Why would anyone buy this product when the commercials basically use sex as a selling point? It's obvious it doesn't work and the geniuses at Axe are smart enough to market it to hormone filled pre-teen boys looking to get anything.
sorry i converted to old spice
[editline]04:50AM[/editline]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE[/media]
best commercial ever
[QUOTE=reedbo;21440880]Why would anyone buy this product when the commercials basically use sex as a selling point? It's obvious it doesn't work and the geniuses at Axe are smart enough to market it to hormone filled pre-teen boys looking to get anything.[/QUOTE]
Sssshhh. Don't tell.
I use this.
I love the smell.
I use this and my dick is raw every night.
Can you condone pedophilia in the shape of a square?
My friend has this. IMO it smells like shit and nothing like chocolate.
BRB have some of this shit in the bathroom. (the spray)
I fucking love this shit. Smells like chocolate when I walk out of the shower.
Okay sprayed it all over myself. A fat woman ran by and ripped off my chocolatey arm. What do I do?
Be a man and use cologne.
I tried this but didn't get laid, I should sue Axe.
i love doing this.
Identity I still need my arm back. Any ideas?
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
