Today, i did my English Half Yearly. For our creative writing task, we were asked to make a story from one of 4 texts. I chose something that involved friendship, and belonging. Cant remember exactly what the question was, but i based my story on the view of an unnamed, new Clone Trooper during the Battle of Geonosis. I did it in the form of a journal.
Ill put the entries in quotes, as it makes more sense:
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 2
21:32
Forgot to leave my message for yesterday. I was busy getting to know my new squad mates.
They have numbers, but id rather call them by the nicknames they made up.
RC3192 is Sarge, our leader. Obviously. RC0792, or Flash, is our demo...guy. And RC0192, Scope, is our marksman. They apparently took their names from some guys called "Delta Squad" but i have never heard about them. I will have to go now, later.
RC1792: Logged off.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 5
20:45
Will have to make this one quick, sorry. We are actually being posted somewhere. Im excited, but Sarge said to not let it get in the way of our mission. I think the guys are starting to get used to the new guy [Laughter]. Well, i gotta go and check everythings in order, we ship out in 15 mins.
RC1792: Logged off.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 9
07:34
Well, this sucks. We're in some desert place. I heard someone call it Geenoses or something, but i have no idea where it is. Seems pretty dull around here. Hopefully something happens soon. Turns out Squads seem to get stuck with the clean up jobs, or other boring stuff. Flash reckons something will happen soon. Hope it does.
RC1792: Logged off.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 10
15:54
Saw something weird today. I remember, back on Kamino, these massive, triangle ships. I saw one today, it landed in the desert near our outpost. I thought something was up, so i told Sarge. He just nodded, and walked off. Later, i went to see if it was still there, and the side of it had opened. It had hundreds of people like me in it, except their armor was pure white. Weird, but im sure its nothing serious.
RC1792: Logged off.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 15
19:59
Another 2 ships landed. Man, everywhere the eye can see, there are troopers. Rumor going around is its an "invasion." Sarge wont tell us, but Flash is sure something is up.
RC1792: Logged off.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 16
07:49
Flash was right! It is a full scale invasion! Again, will have to keep this short, we start in 10 mins, and we will act as scouts for the whole army. Flash is prepping his rocket launcher, Sarge is on his headset to some high ranking guy, and Scope is up on the ridge, watching whats happening. Well, off i go, wish me luck.
RC1792: Logged off.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]E-Journal
Day 16
20:45
Well, that was a brilliant failure. Sarge says it was a success, but Scope believes too many Troopers died out there. He says that the Troopers arent just expendable people. They have brains, organs, lives, and we just march them straight into a slaughter. Sarge said nothing, but i could tell he knew Scope was right. Well, Flash says tomorrow we will be part of the second wave. He reckons if we do it right, we will be out of here before day 19. I sure hope so. I want to have a rest. Its surprisingly tiring out here. But i feel safe around these guys. They have been through alot, and im sure we can do it again.
RC1792: Logged off.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Status Report
Subject: Clone Commando "RC1792"
Current status: KIA
Details of incident: At approximately 11:36 on Day 17, Echo Squadron's position was given away. Droid commanders took immediate action, shelling the area. RC1792 took the brunt of an Anti Infantry shell. RC0792 attempted to revive the subject, but he was pronounced KIA minutes later.
Course of action: Send another Clone Trooper to fill his position.[/QUOTE]
Sorry its so long.
Uh, for a graded paper, it seems pretty short and empty. It's fine I suppose, ending was weak.
Very short for a graded paper. Also, some errors in punctuation and overall grammar.
That's a really weird idea for a graded paper. If you take out all the entry information it's really short. Not sure this was the best move.
This doesn't seem like the best idea for a graded paper. I wouldn't expect a high grade from this, you'd have to do this really well and in-depth with the character development.
[i]I[/i] is capitalized you know...
where is the friendship and belonging
I think you should put bits of story in between to develop the story and make him write the logs during the story
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