[QUOTE=PvtVain;26445414]Alright so i'm making a story and I want to know if it's any good so far.
Prologue
September 7th 1940 1330 Hours.
Me and my squadron were given orders to go see general Ryan for a mission brief
Ryan calmly said to us "Captain, you and your squad must infiltrate a nazi base in the mountain side
Once you're in, try to find who is in command. When you find him, try to capture him and hold him hostage until we have word that you have him secured.
From there we will send backup to clear the base and give you and the hostage a ride back to base."
And as calm as I was, I was trying my best to hide my excitement and stay focused. As I knew this was serious if the general gave us these orders in person.
End of prologue. Go to chapter 1 to continue.
I don't know much about writing up story's but this is the best I could do so far.
Also Aufstieg Der Nazi-Partei is German for Rise Of The Nazi-Party
Now before you think it's just a story on how I think the nazi-party started, it isn't
It actually is about zombies. Yes it sounds like CoD: WaW I know.[/QUOTE]
After some CC it ended with this ;
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26445768]I lost interest cause you guys (FP)
Like to do that. You could start slow and help me work on it instead of saying every single thing you think about it.
I've never written a story in my life.
[/QUOTE]
And I don't know about you guys, but giving CC to someone who then decides to shrug it off without any good reason is pretty lame.
So I've decided to issue a User Challenge!
[highlight]1) I want you to write down character descriptions for the following characters ;[/highlight]
[b]x)[/b] General Ryan
Who is he? Where is he from? What does he like? What does he hate? What are some good personal traits? Bad traits?
Writing down how your characters are like will help you make them consistent, give them something that makes them human and therefore relatable. You want to get the reader involved in your story.
[b]x)[/b] The Squad Leader
The story appears to be written from the perspective of a captain, who does not yet have a name but so far you can tell that he is supposed to be the reader. He's therefore the central character, and you need to be even more detailed in the description about this one.
Give him even more meat on the bone, make him likeable so that people will feel for him when good/bad things happen.
[b]x)[/b] The Squad
Every Squad Leader needs his squad, and unless you want it to be completely boring you need to give them different personalities. There are a few stereotypes you can use, such as ;
[i]The Joker[/i]
The guy who always has something to say that makes the rest of the squad laugh. Usually one of the younger ones in the squad.
[i]The Hardened Veteran[/i]
This guy (can be several) doesn't mess around. He's been around for a long time, and he gets the job done and he does it good. Usually not really talkative but everyone loves this guy because he's a reliable guy who doesn't back down on his friends.
[i]The Wise One[/i]
Most of the time this guy is the oldest one in the group, he's also pretty much always one rank below the squad leader and everyone looks up to this guy. He helps the squad leader whenever he can't come up with anything, but has a past where he messed up something bad which is the reason why he isn't the squad leader.
[i]The Charming One[/i]
This guy is like a movie star, he got good looks and knows how to talk himself out of a situation. He resembles the joker in that he can crack a joke or two but whereas the joker is usually pretty ugly this guy is not.
[i]The Rookie[/i]
Being in a war always causes casualties, and no squad no matter how well they work together can stay away from trouble. The Wise One usually takes care of this kid and is usually someone the Hardened Veteran looks down upon, and if there's a girl involved this guy will always fall for the girl whereas The Charming One will use his good looks and charm to seduce her, causing The Rookie to become slightly depressed. The Rookie does something amazing near the end that means the survival of the squad, or sacrifices himself so that the squad may live to fight another day.
There are obviously mixes between the different stereotypes (and there are obviously a couple of more, but these are the ones I can think of on top of my head), but you can always use these stereotypes to create your squad.
I want you to spend atleast [b]half an hour (30 minutes) on every character with the exception of the main character, who you should spend an hour(60 minutes) on.[/b]
[highlight]2) Write the first chapter[/highlight]
There are a few things you should remember for the first chapter, and that is the following :
[b]x)[/b] Introduce every character in a smooth way.
Having the guys meet up at the general and have everyone display their personal traits (the veterans just grunt, the joker cracks a couple of jokes, the wise one warns about certain dangers that could pop up and the squad leader asks about additional information on the terrain etc) is a good way of introducing everyone, the rookie can be nervous and so forth.
[b]x)[/b] Describe the environment.
People reading should know about as much about the environment as the characters, so describe thoroughly what they feel, smell, sense, see and hear in the different situations.
Action-paced moments doesn't require as much feel and sense, but more on what they smell, see and hear.
Adress accordingly to what sort of emotion you want to convey. Are the characters afraid? Try to describe in words that make it seem scary. Same goes for every other feeling.
[b]x)[/b]Try to make it coherent.
It's always easy to write down something that makes sense to you, the writer. You already have an image in your head on what happens, what the characters feel etc.
But the reader doesn't, and sometimes it can be hard to follow what happens when you don't take in consideration that the reader has no knowledge whatsoever on how the characters react or what the places look like.
I want you to spend at least [b]three(3) hours[/b] on writing the first chapter. Spend some time researching what the environments could look like, spend a lot of time writing the story and even more time re-writing it to flush out any errors you've made.
I think this could take some time so I'm giving you [highlight]until 1st of January, 2011[/highlight] to finish this user challenge.
Good luck :)
You're truly an amazing person Gregah, truly. :buddy:
Let's hope Pvt.Vain completes this challenge, it'll be interesting to see what he comes up with.
Wow, that's awfully nice of you to give him a detailed guideline of what his writing should be.
Bravo. :golfclap:
:golfclap:
Didn't Vain get perma'd or am I mistaking him with someone else?
Must be someone else.
Come on Vain, this could actually help you get better and you really need to start accepting CC without going crazy if someone points out a flaw in your work, if you want to get good at something you have to practice, nobody is automatically good at things.
By the way, I'm Recon if you have no idea who this account is an alt of.
He most likely will not do this, he'll just come in here and call us all children.
At first I thought "oh shit this is gonna be some really crappy, aggressive hate thread" and in fact it's the most useful thing I've seen in weeks.
Nicely done, sir.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;26450073]At first I thought "oh shit this is gonna be some really crappy, aggressive hate thread" and in fact it's the most useful thing I've seen in weeks.
Nicely done, sir.[/QUOTE]
Well, it wouldn't be called a challenge if it wasn't supposed to help someone improve, right? :)
Besides, it doesn't help anyone to be aggressive or hateful, there's already too much of that in the world so I hope to balance it out at least a little by being helpful.
Edit : Oh and thank you all for your kind words. :)
Oh shit, I didn't see that you posted a challenge before my post.
[QUOTE=WastedJamacan;26460435]Oh shit, I didn't see that you posted a challenge before my post.[/QUOTE]
Don't worry, your post were really helpful nonetheless and I'm sure it helped someone. Hopefully even PvtVain, but we'll see I suppose.
Have a heart :3:
So I guess Vain hasn't replied?
Shit son, this is one of the best ideas for helping get a stubborn newbie into writing I've ever seen. I think I was mean to you for absolutely no reason in the past, so firstly: Sorry about that, I was... uh, dumb. Secondly, as I said, great thread. I think we should do this kind of thing more often.
I guess the thread was [i]in vain[/i] after all.
:rimshot:
[QUOTE=Dude Meister;26467654]Shit son, this is one of the best ideas for helping get a stubborn newbie into writing I've ever seen. I think I was mean to you for absolutely no reason in the past, so firstly: Sorry about that, I was... uh, dumb.[/QUOTE]
Haha, thanks! I can't remember any such thing but I still accept your apology. :) I've done a couple of these in the MS Paint section (and a few that is still currently running so to speak) and I think it's been quite a success so I feel confident that it could work here too.
[QUOTE=Dude Meister;26467654] Secondly, as I said, great thread. I think we should do this kind of thing more often.[/QUOTE]
Please do, I don't have a monopoly on this sort of thing but I wish for people that calls out a user challenge of their own to make it as helpful as possible, work on whatever flaws the person being called out have and set a reasonable amount of time to spend on the challenge itself and to make it within a reasonable timeframe.
I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight]
why not
[editline]5th December 2010[/editline]
is it because giving it a try would be to admit how terrible you were?
because seriously dude suck it up, and work to becoming a good writer instead.
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26482714]I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight][/QUOTE]
Yeah. You're right. Your writing is probably better than most popular authors today anyway.
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26482714]I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight][/QUOTE]
Just do it Vain, come on.
Urgh...He wants to improve his writing skills yet he doesn't accept a challenge that will allow him to develop different ideas on how to create an interesting story?
Nothing has changed.
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26482714]I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight][/QUOTE]
You're just a little spolied shit without any sence of appreciation, honour or dignity..
You're worthless, when people worry and work for you, you shrug it off just because you think you know better.
Back in my days you little peapained fucks used to shut their worthless shithole mouths and listen to people who knew what they were on about.
Get the fuck out you dicklipped spawn of incest. Enjoy working at mcdonalds.
I'm picking up this challenge, could use some english and writing practise.
Peapained?
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26482714]I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight][/QUOTE]
Enjoy being terrible at everything for the rest of your life, dickweed.
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=3v3ryb0dy;26483986]I'm picking up this challenge, could use some english and writing practise.[/QUOTE]
You know what, fuck PvtVain, I'm gonna do this too! I need some decent writing motivation. Lately I haven't done anything in months.
[QUOTE=3v3ryb0dy;26483986]You're just a little spolied shit without any sence of appreciation, honour or dignity..
You're worthless, when people worry and work for you, you shrug it off just because you think you know better.
Back in my days you little peapained fucks used to shut their worthless shithole mouths and listen to people who knew what they were on about.
Get the fuck out you dicklipped spawn of incest. Enjoy working at mcdonalds.
I'm picking up this challenge, could use some english and writing practise.[/QUOTE]
Sound like a drill sergent.
That's good.
[QUOTE=ijyt;26484302]Peapained?[/QUOTE]
[quote]could use some english and writing practise. [/quote]
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26482714]I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight][/QUOTE]
what a nice and thankful person you are!
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
oh wait
[QUOTE=PvtVain;26482714]I could give it a go.
[highlight]But I'm not[/highlight][/QUOTE]
So you have a good chance at not only getting better at writing, but also learning how to accept constructive criticism meant to help you and you dismiss it?
Well, that's a shame.
Oh nevermind, you got banned for trolling. :)
[QUOTE=3v3ryb0dy;26483986]You're just a little spolied shit without any sence of appreciation, honour or dignity..
You're worthless, when people worry and work for you, you shrug it off just because you think you know better.
Back in my days you little peapained fucks used to shut their worthless shithole mouths and listen to people who knew what they were on about.
Get the fuck out you dicklipped spawn of incest. Enjoy working at mcdonalds.
I'm picking up this challenge, could use some english and writing practise.[/QUOTE]
I'm looking forward to see what you can come up with!
[QUOTE=Dude Meister;26484392]Enjoy being terrible at everything for the rest of your life, dickweed.
[editline]4th December 2010[/editline]
You know what, fuck PvtVain, I'm gonna do this too! I need some decent writing motivation. Lately I haven't done anything in months.[/QUOTE]
Even better, I'm already looking forward to see what you two will write :)
It's a shame PvtVain is too stubborn.
Vains a dickhead, just ask on the PW forums. He has like ragequit on there like a bazillion times.
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