Tired of aliens abducting you? - General

Don't you just wish those pesky aliens would stop abducting you? SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS WITH THIS!!! [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/mjXuy.jpg[/IMG] [url]www.stopabductions.com[/url] shows you how to make this wonderful alien proof hat. Heres how it works. [QUOTE=www.stopabductions.com] The thought screen helmet scrambles telepathic communication between aliens and humans. Aliens cannot immobilize people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds or communicate with them using their telepathy. When aliens can't communicate or control humans, they do not take them.[/QUOTE] The creator: [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/v2jyP.jpg[/IMG] [QUOTE=www.stopabductions.com]Michael Menkin has over 30 years of experience in high technology in marketing and technical writing. He has worked for the Boeing Company, Lasentec Product Group of Mettler-Toledo, Metawave Communications Corporation, Emulex Corporation, Fluke Corporation, Teltone Corporation, Peripheral Technology, Stryder Technologies, AT&T, The Robbins Company, Al-Gas SDI, Innovation, Inc, Panasonic Avionics, The University of Washington, The University of California San Francisco Medical Center at Mount Zion, The University of California's Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, Pacific Avionics, Nicholson Mfg. Inc., Western Applied Research and Development, Alta Consulting Services, SpaceLabs Healthcare, and MetLife.[/Quote] Apparently this guy also knows plenty of things about aliens too. [QUOTE=www.stopabductions.com]Possible alien weaknesses (grays only) Reliance on telepathy When the alien's telepathic powers are neutralized by the "thought screen helmet" they do not attempt to abduct their victims. Without their telepathic power they cannot render their victims passive. Vitamin C to kill implanted alien-hybrid embryos One woman who now wears a thought screen helmet along with her husband reports that she killed four alien-hybrid fetuses in a row by taking a gram of vitamin C every hour for weeks. She used her alarm clock at night to awaken her. She reported that she could no longer feel the fetuses moving and the aliens were very angry at the deaths of the alien-hybrids they implanted in her. The aliens did remove a dead alien-hybrid fetus before implanting a live one at another time. This was before she started wearing a thought screen helmet. These events confirm the findings of Professor David Jacobs who says in his book, The Threat, that the main purpose of alien abductions is to create a new race of alien-human hybrids who are now starting to inhabit the earth. Unfortunately these adult alien-human hybrids come in pairs and forcedly remove helmets from abductees. However, the thought screen helmet still works for people who are only abducted by the creators of these alien-human hybrids. Nutrient absorbing skin of grays It was reported in The Threat that the grays sit in a vat of nutrients and absorb it through their skin. They do not eat as humans do. The grays nutrient absorbing skin may be a weakness as substances of strong odors or material sprayed on their skin may be absorbed directly into their body. Perfumes Several abductees report that aliens do not like perfume. One abductee claims that they stopped an abduction by exposing strong cheap perfume to aliens. Incense from White Sage An abductee in Virginia claims that incense created by burning dried white sage caused the aliens to leave. She stated in 2008, "There must be something in the smell that makes them unable to stay." Another abductee in the UK also stated the same year that: "I have tried white sage myself and it works. It's a native American spiritual cleansing incense. It's a horrific smell and it is very clingy and creates a lot of smoke. The incense can be purchased in tied bundles which you light on the end stick. It works on aliens as it sticks to their skin. The smell stays on human skin for at least two days. That is even when you have a shower. It (the smell) is difficult to get rid of." [/QUOTE] I hope you feel safe now.

those god damn grays broke in and stole all my booze last weekend, thanks to michael menkin those wusses won't get anywhere near my refrigerator anymore. totally worth it. [editline]10th April 2011[/editline] now all we need is a TF2 variant.

Fucking finally. Damn aliens anal probing me all the time.

The website looks like something straight outta GTA4

i'm waiting for an anti reptilian version of the hat though.

I prefer my oldskool tinfoil hat

[QUOTE=Master117;29080360]Fucking finally. Damn aliens anal probing me all the time.[/QUOTE] Worst part is, they don't even call back :saddowns:

I've been wearing one of these for three years now and haven't been abducted a single time It's legit guys

Aliens can't touch me if I wear my tinfoil hat :tinfoil:

If I didn't know I was schizophrenic and I had nightly visual hallucination of aliens abducting me I think I would wear a tinfoil hat as well.

I shall wear this, along with some power bands.

but they probe my anus

where will they store their probes??

[QUOTE=Levithan;29080785]where will they store their probes??[/QUOTE] do the hat but use it as an underwear, i've been doing that.

[QUOTE=Craptasket;29080746]but they probe my anus[/QUOTE] Put perfume in your ass.

I know this is probably too expensive for you guys, so I'll get to work on selling my generic tin foil ones at close to nothing prices. Mine has the same anti-abduction effects as theirs. Trust me; I've been wearing regular tin foil for years and haven't gotten abducted yet! With my $2 tin foil hats, you'll be preventing more than yourself being abducted; your wallet will appreciate its money not being abducted too!

[QUOTE=shrinkme;29080966]Put perfume in your ass.[/QUOTE] put perfumly in your ass

[QUOTE=Craptasket;29080746]but they probe my anus[/QUOTE] Avatar fits

Aliens killed my parents and raped my brothers, at least I won't share the same fate as them now. Thank you Anti-Alien hat!

I am a cow, does it work for me or will they still take me?

Goddamnit you guys. Im just a simple alien wanting to blow my load. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ALIEN VAGINAS? HAVE YOU EVER?

Tin foil hat is much cheaper

[quote]Michael Menkin has over 30 years of experience in high technology in marketing and technical writing. He has worked for the Boeing Company, Lasentec Product Group of Mettler-Toledo, Metawave Communications Corporation, Emulex Corporation, Fluke Corporation, Teltone Corporation, Peripheral Technology, Stryder Technologies, AT&T, The Robbins Company, Al-Gas SDI, Innovation, Inc, Panasonic Avionics, The University of Washington, The University of California San Francisco Medical Center at Mount Zion, The University of California's Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory, Pacific Avionics, Nicholson Mfg. Inc., Western Applied Research and Development, Alta Consulting Services, SpaceLabs Healthcare, and MetLife.[/quote] I bet he was fired from every one of these.

If you read the "Directions For Use" section, it makes the aliens sound like a group of thugs or something. [quote]Once you start wearing a helmet they may harass you or perhaps threaten to kill a pet in retaliation. They are good at manipulating your spouse to have a conflict with you about wearing the helmet. If you forget to wear it one time they may physically hurt you.[/quote]

[QUOTE=Natrox;29083753][b]ppfzdsklfd lcfpafdpocad[/b][/QUOTE] Fix'd! Cows can't write on a keyboard :downs:

I've never been abducted by an alien. Thank god

[QUOTE=Lufttygger306;29088477]I've never been abducted by an alien. Thank god[/QUOTE] How do you know? If you weren't wearing your special hat then the aliens most likely controlled you and then erased your memory. That's why you have to wear your hat at all times.

[QUOTE=Lufttygger306;29088477]I've never been abducted by an alien. Thank god[/QUOTE] You should buy a helmet, along with a block of wood to knock upon. You know, just in-case they try to get you, you can freeze their arms with a leather helmet!

[img]http://images.whatport80.com/images/9/9e/HA_HA_HA,_OH_WOW.jpg[/img] Where are the good old times, when a tinfoil hat was enough? :tinfoil:

My body is ready.