• John Dies at the End
    82 replies, posted
I know you're thinking "Why would you tell me this?" However, that's the title of this book. JDatE is a horror/comedy book writted by David Wong. It's a comic supernatural horror book, about two guys, John and David, who can see things other people can't. I don't mean ghosts, that's dumb. They can see, well, into hell. The book tells about HOW they got this ability, and it's pretty original. But I'm not going to reveal ore than that, I'm not going to spoil it for you. It was originally posted online in 2001, and completed in parts until 2006, and then it was published. I found out about it a while back on a post on here, bookmarked it, and read it occasionally. It WAS online, but went down sometime in september, I think. I got done reading half of it when that happened. However, there's a softback book of it that you should really fucking pick up. Now, You're wondering "Why should I read it? it sounds retarded". Well, this is one of the few books that's made me laugh out loud. It's also one of the few books that's made me laugh and freak out at the same time. It's genuinely funny, and genuinely scary. It's also got an intriguing story, too. Since it was written online, it has this air of unprefessionalness about it, but not in a bad way. It isn't afraid to make cock jokes and it's extremely profane. However, that makes it sound worse then it reall is. Here's a few quotes. I'm typing it out. Be happy. [quote]"The sign out front says Morrison. Son. Morris-son. Now would you describe your own appearance for me?" "I don't-" "You see, because John and I have this thing where we're both seeing completely different versions of you. Now, John has eyesight problems because of his constant masturbation, but I don't think-" She burst into snakes. That's right. One second she was a girl, then her body sort of spilled out of itself, falling into a dark, writhing puddle on the ground.[/quote] [quote]We kicked the slithering things and stomped up after the dog, just as the stairwell door banged shut on its own. I reached for the knob. At the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape of a flaccid penis. It flopped siletly against the door, like a man was cramming it through the knob hole on the other side. I turned back to John and said, "This door cannot be opened"[/quote] [quote]There was something wrapped in the canvas, something the size of a body, something i knew [i]was[/i] a body, rolled up like- [i]A murder burrito![/i] -a gutted deer in the bed of a pickup.[/quote] [quote]"John, are we, like, crack dealers now?" John opened a drawer on a writing desk and pulled out a big manilla envelope. He extracted a bundle of papers, newspaper clippings, a couple of folded-up tabloids, a glossy magazine called [i]Strange Days[/i] with a picture of a UFO on the front. He said "No, Nothing like that. Out in vegas, we met a guy. He was a pimp. We made quite a bit of money as male whores. They used to call you Rocket Rimjob. You won the gold medal at the Greater Nevada Sodomy Olympics back in July, landed a bunch of endorsement deals. You own that house you and Jenifer live in. Paid cash, I think."[/quote] Read this book. Oh, there's a website too, it's not that great but give it a shot. [url]www.johndiesattheend.com[/url] There's a sequel that's only half-done, that half that's done is released somewhere on that site. I've yet to read it. Oh, and there's a movie deal involving the book, not sure if it's going to be pulled through or not. Oh, and check the website on haloween, he said that he was going to update it with something big.
So does John die at the end or not?
[QUOTE=toastedspyro]So does John die at the end or not?[/QUOTE] "John Dies at the End"
[QUOTE=toastedspyro]So does John die at the end or not?[/QUOTE] Read and find out :ssh:
Awesome book, but some loopholes made me really confused.
John doesn't die at the end at all, seriously, there's no mention of him dying at all. Also I bought this book, it's awesome
[QUOTE=wind8ws]"John Dies at the End"[/QUOTE] But does he [b]really[/b]? Or is it actually John's doppelganger, leaving room for a sequel? edit: okay apparently John [b]does not die[/b]. Thank goodness.
Fuck, I was mislead. I thought you were one of those people from the future coming back to tell us Mccain will die, and we'll have Palin as a president. Be right back , got to go change my fear-induced sweat drenched clothes.
SHE BURST INTO SNAKES!!!
I didn't buy the book, I'm too poor. Somehow my city library has two copies of the book :raise:
[QUOTE=Cheesemonkey]I didn't buy the book, I'm too poor. Somehow my city library has two copies of the book :raise:[/QUOTE] Wow. I just searched my city library (Toronto Public Library) database and all they have that's close alphabetically is "John Diefenbaker : the outsider who refused to quit" and "John Dillinger : the life and death of America's first celebrity criminal /". :(
it's really hard to find the book new in stores because it all sold out and they aren't making anymore. BUT now it's being published by someone else (read announcement at [url]http://www.johndiesattheend.com/[/url]) also you used to be able to read the whole book for free online but that just went away a couple days ago (it's been free online for about 7 years, slowpokes)
[QUOTE=wind8ws]"John Dies at the End"[/QUOTE] YOU BASTARD! way to spoil the ending for me :argh:
Also I'm pretty sure the "big announcement" on halloween is the movie trailer for the book. (He said they were making a movie out of it a while ago) [b]Edit:[/b] [QUOTE=Master117]YOU BASTARD! way to spoil the ending for me :argh:[/QUOTE] way to read the thread
I read this book. Was pretty cool, but it started to drag on around about when Shitload shows up. [b][highlight](User was permabanned for this post (Reason: Alt of Lulzophiser) [event] 127470 [/event])[/highlight][/b]
I thought this was a spoiler for saw or something. Is it even out yet?
David [b]WONG[/b] :geno: Too bad he dies
We had a thread on this once before if I remember correctly...
[QUOTE=Iced]Also I'm pretty sure the "big announcement" on halloween is the movie trailer for the book. (He said they were making a movie out of it a while ago) [b]Edit:[/b] way to read the thread[/QUOTE] Whoosh!
[QUOTE=InvaderNouga]I thought this was a spoiler for saw or something. Is it even out yet?[/QUOTE] been out for 2 years. And I think there was a thread in like '05, I saw it bumped and that's where I found out about it like 6 months ago.
Ah, I love this book so much. I read it while I was bored during the summer. Fantastic read. Funny as hell, too.
Whatever happened to David Wong? He joined cracked and quit writing stuff. I hate cracked, and Wong was awesome. So sad. :(
Last time this was posted was just before the season finale of Lost I was pissed
[quote]A murder burrito![/quote] Oh god I want this book so badly right now I must find it. Besides, I've been needing some new reading material. Harry Potter is starting to made my brain deteriorate.
[QUOTE=cricket]But does he [b]really[/b]? Or is it actually John's doppelganger, leaving room for a sequel? edit: okay apparently John [b]does not die[/b]. Thank goodness.[/QUOTE] Well great thanks a lot now I don't have any reason to read it
I've got my eyes open for this book.
[quote]We kicked the slithering things and stomped up after the dog, just as the stairwell door banged shut on its own. I reached for the knob. At the same moment it began to melt and transform, turning pink and finally taking the shape of a flaccid penis. It flopped silently against the door, like a man was cramming it through the knob hole on the other side. I turned back to John and said, "This door cannot be opened" [/quote] Holy shit I laughed so hard at that
Oh my god i almost screamed. I thought the title of the thread was, "john mccain dies". i was like :O
I heard this book was good. Retarded enough to be good.
I'm currently reading it for the fourth time, I love this book, it's so well written and so well thought out I can't put it down even if I know what's going to happen. I can't wait for the movie.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.