Best of Craigslist, an untapped source of immense funny
6 replies, posted
So, I recently stumbled onto the "best of Craigslist" postings. As you know, Craigslist has sub-domains for basically every major city. Every sub-domain has a "best of" list, that contains a TREASURE TROVE of untapped funnies. I feel obligated to share them with you.
[url]http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/[/url]
Here are a few I found particularly good -
[B]Behind you in line at DQ - m4w[/B]
[quote]
I was in line at the DQ on 6th getting mother's usual order of 3 hot dogs and onion rings. I was looking down at my Gameboy, not paying attention to the line when I felt the warm breeze hit my legs. I looked up from my Pokemon battle and there you were. 5'2, about 315 lbs. You had the remnants of your first two DQ orders stuck in your teeth, which were so gnarled, I could see them from the back.
You were polishing off a Dilly Bar when the methane cloud rose to my nostrils, curling my nose hairs. It was an aroma that could only be produced by a goddess. As I felched it, I detected a hit of salmon as well as delicate notes of chili. Subtle overtones of movie theater style butter pop corn were soon overpowered by the second wave, which brought a strong scent and taste of corned beef and cabbage. (Mmmmmmm...)
I could see the gas bubble trying to escape from your neoprene-esque tights, most of which were so far up your crack, I debated momentarily whether they were actually two pairs of pants, each housing one of your delightful cankles. The outline of your swollen, probably irritated pachyderm knuckle made me picture a furry cantaloupe split perfectly down the middle, complete with crateresque dimples. This image only further infuriated my raging erection. I struggled to contain my three inches until I eventually prematurely ejaculated. It might have been embarrassing had I not been wearing pajamas with the feet in them under my value brand khakis.
I know you will probably never read this, as I heard you commenting to the store clerk that you could not read, and proceeded to order by pointing at pictures and grunting. But I had to share my story.
I hope to see you again some day. And if by some chance someone reads this to you, please do not shave, I really liked your mustache.[/quote]
[B]GIRL FROM GLORY HOLE AT THE ADULT BOOKSTORE[/B]
[quote]
I WAS THE GUY IN THE 3RD BOOTH, YOU POKED YOUR FINGER THROUGH THE HOLE, I FOUND IT WIERD THAT YOUR KNUCKLES WERE THAT HAIRY, BUT I UNDERSTAND HOREMONES. I PUT MY STUFF IN THE HOLE AND YOU WENT TO TOWN. IT WAS THE BEST I EVER HAD. YOUR HANDS WERE KINDA BIG AND WHEN YOU CLEARED YOUR THROAT, YOUR COUGH WAS KINDA DEEP. I KNOW YOU WERE A WOMAN BECAUSE I AM NOT GAY. I LOVE YOU A LOT AND WANT TO MARY YOU. I CAME BACK LATER, BUT THERE WERE ONLY GUYS IN THERE. [/quote]
Feel free to comb through all the hilarious postings, there are some real gems in here and are sure to amuse you (and me) for a long time to come.
Good find.
How am I the first poster in a 3-minute old GD thread?
[QUOTE=Cheryl Cole;21739696]Good find.
How am I the first poster in a 3-minute old GD thread?[/QUOTE]
Everybody is busy laughing.
[QUOTE=StormHammer;21739759]Everybody is busy laughing.[/QUOTE]
I know I am.
"Only guys were in there"
[url]http://dontevenreply.com/[/url]
I used to read this all the time. This one is my all-time favorite: [url]http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/136728886.html[/url]
[QUOTE=leadpumper;21740289][url]http://dontevenreply.com/[/url][/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]Would you like me to have the woman holding scissors and a hair comb?[/QUOTE]
lmao.
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