I don't really know how to structure this so I'll just start from the very beginning. I'm not promising anything hilarious like the Spicy Tornado thread, so if you're looking for laughs then go elsewhere.
So my parents are lesbians, and as you might know its impossible for two women to have children together. Because they wanted a child, they put a classifieds ad in the 'Pink Paper', which is a gay newspaper, for a sperm doner (this sort of thing was very common, and still is due to discrimination many gays who want children get). Roger (what a name :v: ), my dad, got in contact via written letters, and it was all very secret at first because both sides were really scared. My parents were afraid if Roger ever tried to get custody, and he was afraid if my parents forced him to pay maintenance. But they both met in some pub and he handed over the goods, all he requested in return was my picture after I had been born.
Cut to a couple of years ago and my Mum went into A&E after having an accident (nothing severe) and saw him there. He was a paramedic when communication first started, but apparently he's trying to work up the career ladder to consultant or surgeon or whatever. She had a chat etc and they gave him our number since they were pretty cool with each other now.
Then, today, he rung up. My Mum says he wants to meet with me, to see what I'm like and what kind of person I've become. He's apparently really scared in case I'm hostile to him, he even withdrew the number in case I picked the phone up!
So in this last hour or so, my parents have basically just told me this whole thing, since I knew very little about it all before today. He's meeting them tomorrow at some pub to catch up and see if I want to meet him, but I have no idea if I do or not. Sure I want to see where I come from and all, but this guy is a stranger to me. All I know about him is that he's a gay, bald doctor who lives with his Mum, but my parents say he's a really nice guy. I have no idea at all what to do, and I'm really shitting myself about it all, help Facepunch?
tl;dr: My sperm doner Dad wants to get in contact with me, but I'm scared shitless.
[B][U]UPDATE[/U][/B]
Well, I met him today. All four of us went out for a meal at a restaurant, and he was... not what I expected. You can tell that his career comes first, because he doesn't have good people skills making some parts a bit awkward. Also, he's technologically handicapped and uses a phone which looks like it needs winding up. He also likes jogging and is a vegetarian!
But even with these differences, I saw a few similarities. We both walk and talk the same, so thats were I got my god awful accent.
I'm really surprised at who he is, but I guess I'm happy that I went meet him. He did say we should do this again, but I'm just going to take it as it comes.
I thought he had absolutely no right to see you since he was a donor? Can't you just refuse meeting him?
You shouldn't see him if you don't want to. He has no "right" to see you, and if you don't want him in your life just tell your parents and make them talk with him.
Read again. He can refuse if he wants, and his "dad" is merely curious about his offspring and not forcing it or anything. Basically the ball is in the OP's hands and only shall decide what the outcome will be.
@Acolyt this is.
[QUOTE=Acolyt3;29487729]I thought he had absolutely no right to see you since he was a donor? Can't you just refuse meeting him?[/QUOTE]
Well I could, and my parents would respect my decision, but they seem pretty friendly with him. They say he's a nice guy, but that still doesn't ease me.
My advice would be to meet him, OP. If your parents say he's a nice guy, he probably is, and he'll certainly be an intelligent one if he's a doctor. You may find you get along rather well.
Besides, it'll be interesting to see if you recognize any of your own characteristics in him, wouldn't it? Given that he's your biological father and all. I wouldn't miss this opportunity.
Of course I was raised different then you (not to offend), but if I hadn't seen my dad ever in my life I would want to see him at least once. Of course if you don't want to you don't have to.
My 2 cents would be to meet him. As all unusual situations, you should be a bit scared because it's outside of your comfort zone. In this case, it's a safe bet to at least meet him and talk for a bit. He seems friendly, hasn't got a bad past is isn't forcing anything. Take the plunge and see what happens. You're not tied to do anything later, but I think it's a waste to not take this perfect opportunity.
How old are you?
Doesn't it bother you that you're raised by 3 gays?
Are you gay?
Serious questions.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Idiot / Trolling" - Swebonny))[/highlight]
make it as overdramatic as possible
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29487872]How old are you?
Doesn't it bother you that you're raised by 3 gays?
Are you gay?
Serious questions.[/QUOTE]
Get. The. Fuck. Out. And. Go. Hang. Yourself.
[QUOTE=DarkWolf2;29487855]My 2 cents would be to meet him. As all unusual situations, you should be a bit scared because it's outside of your comfort zone. In this case, it's a safe bet to at least meet him and talk for a bit. He seems friendly, hasn't got a bad past is isn't forcing anything. Take the plunge and see what happens. You're not tied to do anything later, but I think it's a waste to not take this perfect opportunity.[/QUOTE]
I suppose this is the way to go; but meeting someone who's meant to be one of the most important people in your life, yet knowing nothing about them is really scary.
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29487872]How old are you?
Doesn't it bother you that you're raised by 3 gays?
Are you gay?
Serious questions.[/QUOTE]
He's raised by 2 lesbians and his biological dad is gay. How is this a problem and why would he be gay?
I would say you should meet him, what is the worse that could happen?
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29487872]How old are you?
Doesn't it bother you that you're raised by 3 gays?
Are you gay?
Serious questions.[/QUOTE]
Reported. This is fucking unacceptable.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Reported" - Orkel))[/highlight]
I'd say it would be nice to meet the man who's half responsible for your existence
So much oestrogen in your family... your veins must be flowing of it.
I'd think it would be worthwhile. Or, if you're not comfortable meeting him face to face, ask if you can email or phone him, and get to know him through that before meeting him.
Or you may not want to have any contact with him at all, but if you don't, you might get a sense of regret later on in life.
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29487872]How old are you?
Doesn't it bother you that you're raised by 3 gays?
Are you gay?
Serious questions.[/QUOTE]
I always knew our country was being run by a homophobe.
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29487872]How old are you?
Doesn't it bother you that you're raised by 3 gays?
Are you gay?
Serious questions.[/QUOTE]
you are a bigger dick than David Cameron.
[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29487907]So much oestrogen in your family... your veins must be flowing of it.[/QUOTE]
Good job at not understanding anything.
[QUOTE=archangel125;29487905]Reported. This is fucking unacceptable.[/QUOTE]
How is it unacceptable? They were serious questions and you're taking offence to them like it was aimed at you. There's nothing wrong with those questions whatsoever.
I'm not homophobic at all I was just curious. Was it really that inappropriate?
[QUOTE=sp00ks;29487931]Good job at not understanding anything.[/QUOTE]
His dad's gay (Lots of oestrogen) and his mums are lesbians (so they've got the same amount as any other female)
[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29487907]So much oestrogen in your family... your veins must be flowing of it.[/QUOTE]
what the fuck is oestrogen. some sort of oxygen and ostrich dna hybrid
Keep perspective, OP. He isn't your parent, you're just his genetic offspring. He's curious, I'm sure, to know how his genetic son has grown. It's probably no easier for him than it is for you, but it means a lot to him, and he HAS made the first move. So meet him as you would a stranger, with an open mind, and let friendship be an option. It doesn't have to mean more than that.
We're not talking about some crack addict that will follow you home, he's a Doctor and your Mothers (?) are vouching for him, just have a chat, he just wants to see his biological son for a few minutes to see how if he turned out to be an OK guy.
I don't think we should say whether or not for him to meet his dad. It's not something you have to do, you should only do it if you want to meet him. He might be very important to many people, but that doesn't mean he has to be for you. Your moms have (hopefully) filled his place.
[QUOTE=David Cameron;29487940]How is it unacceptable? They were serious questions and you're taking offence to them like it was aimed at you. There's nothing wrong with those questions whatsoever.
I'm not homophobic at all I was just curious. Was it really that inappropriate?[/QUOTE]
Yes. Yes it was.
[QUOTE=Ziron;29487950]what the fuck is oestrogen. some sort of oxygen and ostrich dna hybrid[/QUOTE]
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrogen[/url]
Female hormone.
[QUOTE=FlapadarV2;29487949]His dad's gay (Lots of oestrogen) [/QUOTE]
Source?
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
