I'm too goddamn fat, i need help getting into shape.

[Fuckitbucket]

As the title suggests, my body is disappointing. i need suggestions/ advice on what i should do to get in shape/ speed up metabolism.

[Heigou]

Lift shit, run, eat less garbage.

[TacoBowser]

You should try stepmania, get a ddr pad and start dancing son! Start from low!

Once you get the hang of it, move to a next difficulty, is not that hard yo, plus its very fun!

[MaverickIB]

3x5 fork put downs
3x5 table push aways
3x5 stop being a lazy shits

[Sleepy feet]

do stronglifts

eat less shit

cardio sometimes

[TheChantzGuy]

25 miles every day for a year

[editline]26th June 2013[/editline]

if you were looking for something simple that's not a joke

[Evilan]

The only thing you need to know about losing weight is this.

Intake less calories then you need to maintain your current bodyweight. It is that simple.

[Shoopiwoop]

I feel like we need to be more serious to this guy. Since we keep spouting that if people ask, ye shall recieve and so forth.

Well to "stop" getting fat. Starters, what i started with MANY years ago. I cut all the shit and started eating healthy. I didn't drink soda or alochol and i rarely do today going weeks between when i drink it (if im at a friend or at a party or something)

Second i started out small, i started going out walking (which was easy for me to get motivated since i walked with a chick i used to have a crush on) and then started jogging with said chick. Then i joined a gym, went around there and just did basic bench and arms etc. Thats how you start out, then i read up on excersies in the gym and got help from the locals at the gym. By then you're on your way to not be a fatass.

tldr:
1. Cut the bad shit, instead of a candy bar exhange it with fruit.
2. Stop drinking soda, drink milk.
3. Excersise. Start out small, drop that fucking pushup shit. Start jogging and walking to get your general health at the right way so that you can kinda used to the motivated/not motivated thing, which will help you motivate yourself to get to the gym.
4. Buy a gym membership and research a basic split or just ask us.

Most of this is just personal experience if you want some really thorough stuff just ask me or maverick or some shit.

[aznz888]

^ Pretty much this. Start small, work up towards bigger things.

[Ryz0]

Really all you need is to

1. Burn more calories than you take in (Calorie deficit)
2. Do cardio every day (start small and work up)
3. Have some fucking will power and motivation to achieve your goals

[The Worm]

cardio all day every day.

[Shoopiwoop]

smoke creatine erryday

[Evilan]

Food Poisoning is obviously the best solution. I've dropped 4lbs in 3 days, fuckin magic.