A Fake Accent got me Money and a Girls' phone number - General

So, lately I've been trying to learn Russian (Thread 'bout it: [url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1032130-I-get-free-tickets-to-the-2014-Olympics-if-I-learn-to-speak-Russian.-Any-advice[/url] ), and I've sloooowly been getting better at it. However, the biigest problem is because Russian is such a phonetic language, I've been learning through things like music and audiobooks to help me out. This means whenever I speak Russian, I have a fairly thick accent that I pretty much can't get rid of, and it makes me sound far more adept at the language then I actually am. So, I've pretty much been working at my current job, a Meat/Seafood place, for about a year and a half now. As part of this language thing, I've been greeting people with 'Privyet', which is 'Hi' in Russian. A lot of people have been asking me about this, resulting in me explaining what's going on, and often they wish me luck as I serve them butchered animal wrapped up in red wax paper. So, yesterday, I was thankfully pulled from my annoying ass manager by an older looking guy and what appeared to be his daughter, and greeted them with "Privyet!". He looked at me funny. "Oh, it's Russian for Hi. I've been learning it on the side." I explained quickly. He asked me if i was kidding. I explained to him I wasn't, then he started speaking to me in very fast and thick Russian. Now, I could only pick apart some of the words he was saying to understand him (Home, House, Russia, Canada and Plane, so I sort of understood what he was telling me), and I simply nodded at most of the information and kept saying that I'm hoping to visit Russia one day. The man went on about how it's a wonderful country, even long after I gave him his food. Then he gave me a 10 dollar tip, when there's no tip jar or any indication that I accept tips. I looked down at it and kept looking through my vocab to try and find the word for "Thanks!" until his daughter interrupts me with "Spasibo", then explained to me in somewhat disjointed english that Spasibo means 'Thanks'. The man explained that his daughter isn't very good at English, so he's putting her in the ESLP (English Second Language Program) at White Oaks Secondary School. Now, this is where the story gets amazing. I'm taking a 'Leadership' class this year, which is essentially a 'go into a class that is a lower grade then yours and help' class. With all the other options taken quickly, I got the ESL class to teach basic English to people of any age for high school including ones older than me. I also attend White Oaks Secondary School. The Dad then says that he hopes that I can teach his daughter, since I have knowledge of both languages she knows. He then asked to see my phone. I reached into my pocket and handed it over to him as my manager, who was still waiting for me, told me to give back the tip the man gave me, as I knew I wasn't supposed to accept tips. The man called my manager a "Sovolch", which I'm still not sure what it means, and then handed me back my phone, and walked away with his daughter. My boss gave me a stern talking-to, then left. I kept my 10 bucks. On my break, I went to send my friend Willy a text. As I was scrolling through my contact list, I saw a new name, "Sophie" had been added. Moral of the Story: Start Learning Fucking Russian.

I have a bit of a natural russian accent, but I don't get girls and cash :frown:

Fuck yeah. Russian people got it going on.

Good for making S.T.A.L.K.E.R impressions though. My automerge!

:v: All I could think.

Dem Crazy Russians.

So an old Russian guy gave you his daughters number?

1. Learn Russian 2. Get hot bitches

You have amazing luck. Just don't piss off the father, he'll come at you with an axe and they'll never find your body.

[QUOTE=alphatwo;26457254]Good for making S.T.A.L.K.E.R impressions though. My automerge![/QUOTE] Wouldn't that be Ukrainian?

That is nice. :unsmith:

snip

You're a part of the family now.

Svoloch means bastard, or equivalent to it. I know the Russian alphabet (cept like 3 letters) and a few phrases (spasibo, privyet, da svidania, izviniti, puhzyalstha, ya vas ni ponimayu, taksi, metro, svoloch, chyort, suka, basic phrases), and I think it's cool that you're learning it and will probably be going to the olympics for it. Wish I could go tot he olympics for learning Russian, would give me incentive to start trying to learn it again.

This is really strange. I have tried practicing Russian, and I also take Spanish for school courses. I am on about Detective P.'s level of Russian, and it is a hell of a lot easier then Spanish for me.

Dude nice. I'm learning Russian too. I figure it'll come in very helpful because I live in a Slavic heavy neighbourhood in Chicago. Mostly it's Lithuanians but there's also a lot of Polish and, bigger still, Russian. Half the jobs say that if you speak either Russian or Polish they'll pretty much love you.

[QUOTE=FuhFuhFresh;26457130] I went to send my friend Willy a text. As I was scrolling through my contact list, I saw a new name, "Sophie" had been added. Moral of the Story: Start Learning Fucking Russian.[/QUOTE] [img]http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/willy.jpg[/img] Ach, 'tis nary a big deal. Ah've bin gettin' women oan ma accent fer miny a year.

Now I wanna go to Europe and teach kids how to speak English with my Southern American accent. Just to piss them off. Because I am an ass.

ОП имеет шанс

I might want to try this. I have a rather unusual speech impediment (similar to the guy who made a CPU in Minecraft, for reference), where I can't pronounce R's properly. It disappears when I try to roll my Rs, which makes me sound rather Slavic (or Serbian, I suppose). I also know a bit of Russian (spasibo, tovarich, do svidanya, poka, ne za sto, avtomat kalashnikova, and the always-popular vodka), and I can read Cyrillic OK. I think I know enough history to pull of "immigrant from Soviet Union" (I'm old enough to look the part, and I'm a quarter Norwegian so I don't look too non-Russian). Most importantly, nobody in my area knows Russian. Any immigrants are Hispanophones or Lusophones, and even that's uncommon.

[QUOTE=alphatwo;26457254]Good for making S.T.A.L.K.E.R impressions though. My automerge![/QUOTE] A good spot for clubbing is the wasteland. Also [QUOTE=dookster;26457582][img_thumb]http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/willy.jpg[/img_thumb] Ach, 'tis nary a big deal. Ah've bin gettin' women oan ma accent fer miny a year.[/QUOTE] Didn't he have a hot swedish supermodel wife once?

Seduce her with your sexy American talk.

[QUOTE=gman003-main;26457686]tovarich[/QUOTE] I thought it was tovarishch?

I was born in Russia, and can speak Russian with a perfect Russian accent, yet when I speak English, there is no trace of a Russian accent. Sadly, I've forgotten a lot of it. I need a way to relearn Russian. Anyone have any suggestions?

[QUOTE=Ven Kaeo;26457820]I thought it was tovarishch?[/QUOTE] That might be a more accurate transliteration of товарищ, true. Depends how you pronounce ch. I've seen it transliterated as ch, sch, and shch.

[QUOTE=Samoht;26457700]Seduce her with your sexy American talk.[/QUOTE] "You have nice tits." Some sexy American talk right there.

Svoloch is bitch in Russian.

Damn, you're a winner. I've been considering learning Russian, you just made me NEED to learn it.

[QUOTE=Ivebo;26457332]1. Learn Russian 2. Get hot bitches 3. ??? 4. Profit![/QUOTE]

I convinced a girl in my class I was Russian once, just because I can write in Cyrillic. (I only know a few words of Russian though)