:phoneb::phoneline::phone:
Did you know, according to a recent survey, 43% of workers admit to falsely calling in sick to work at least once in the previous year.
What's the point of having sick days if you never use them? Everyone needs a little "me" time once in a while, but if you're caught, just say you really were sick... of work!
-----------------------------
Here's what you will need...
A good, but simple excuse,
a phone,
and a plan for the day.
------------------------------
Step 1 - Decide what day you want off, try to pick a day where you'll get out of something unpleasent. TIP: Monday and Friday are particularly conspicuous, a 3 day weekend is a dead giveaway.
Step 2 - Think about how to spend your day off, forget going to a tanning or a beauty salon; if you show up the next day with a tan or a perm then you'll be :siren:[B]BUSTED!![/B]:siren:
Step 3 - Decide on a normal reason to be off sick, "I've got a bug" is easier to remember than some long involved tale about exotic food poisoning. And remember you'll have to be better in 24 hours.
Step 4 - Rehearse what you'll say when you call in. Repeat the story until you have found the right mix of fact and fiction.
Step 5 - Make the call before office hours so you can get to your supervisors voicemail which can't talk back or ask probing questions. TIP: Make an alibi tape you recorded when you really were sick, and silence any background noise to leave a convincingly pitiful message.
Step 6 - After spending a glorious day doing whatever you like, prepare to return to work, rehearse your response to any inquerys about your health and other questions that might catc you off guard. TIP: If you're a woman, return to work without wearing any makeup; this will convince any doubters you truly were sick. If you're a man stay unusually quiet all day.
Step 7 - Once you're back, make a show of finding out what happened the day before, so you can catch up on any work you missed, you're so dedicated!
Monday and Friday are conspicuous, you mean.
If they ARE a dead giveaway, i think you mean conspicuous, inconspicuous is the opposite.
[editline]08:24PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=HubmaN;21873773]Monday and Friday are conspicuous, you mean.[/QUOTE]
ff
or just eat something poisonous.
[QUOTE=HubmaN;21873773]Monday and Friday are conspicuous, you mean.[/QUOTE]
Fixed! :eng101:
or just kill yourself.
[QUOTE=Godzillarr;21873794]or just eat something poisonous.[/QUOTE]
Would you really want to go through all that agony just for a day off work?
[QUOTE=MasterF3n;21873801]Would you really want to go through all that agony just for a day off work?[/QUOTE]
would you really want to go through all that planning just for a day off work?
[QUOTE=Godzillarr;21873794]or just eat something poisonous.[/QUOTE]
Then you won't be able to enjoy your day off.
[QUOTE=Godzillarr;21873810]would you really want to go through all that planning just for a day off work?[/QUOTE]
Considering you can do this multiple times, it will pay off sooner or later.
[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;21873819]Then you won't be able to enjoy your day off.[/QUOTE]
That's what medicine is for.
Besides, you never know, if they want you to take a blood exam and if they find medicine in your blood, then it's all right.
:ms:
Interesting.
I was planning on taking Thursday off, honestly.
I learned nothing new or exciting.
So, actually, this really isn't at all interesting.
Nah, to me this is a good guideline. Ain't working, yet, but this might prove usefull for the time when I stop skipping classes and start skipping work days.
What happens if they ask for a medical certificate?
[QUOTE=Lightbourne;21873798]or just kill yourself.[/QUOTE]
this
Wat?
Where i live, the employee isn't allowed to ask about why you're calling in sick, and if they try to find out that you're taking a "me" day off, then you can sue them.
[QUOTE=Van-man;21874884]Wat?
Where i live, the employee isn't allowed to ask about why you're calling in sick, and if they try to find out that you're taking a "me" day off, then you can sue them.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like a cool place to live in.
Drink ipecac, call in and throw up while on the phone.
I told my boss my grandma had a heart attack once haha
[QUOTE=ionuttzu;21875005]Sounds like a cool place to live in.[/QUOTE]
Naaah, we just have great Trade Unions in Denmark.
Your employee screwing with you?
They'll sue the shit out of him.
Seems really long and involved. I could just call in and say "I'm not feeling well today, I won't be in", and my supervisor would say "Ok, I'll mark you down, get well soon" or something like that.
thanks op i lost my job
[img]http://thebsreport.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/trump-youre-fired.jpg[/img]
no skipping work
You don't have to treat calling in sick like some world domination plan with every detail thought out. It's really as simple as "I'm not feeling good today" and that's it...just don't do it too often and it will not be suspicious at all (If your boss thinks you're lying then he probably thinks you are untrustworthy lazy son of a bitch anyways).
Option B:
Get a real virus that shows the first day with painful vomiting and bloodshot eyes
[editline]09:30AM[/editline]
Hooraaaayyyyy
[QUOTE=xpod1;21875489]Option B:
Get a real virus that shows the first day with painful vomiting and bloodshot eyes
[editline]09:30AM[/editline]
Hooraaaayyyyy[/QUOTE]
origin of xpod's avatar suddenly became clear
Option C: Kill a close relative and spend the day at their funeral.
Option D: Don't be a slacker and go to work anyway.
[QUOTE=Dlaor;21875604]Option D: Don't be a slacker and go to work anyway.[/QUOTE]
Says someone who appears to spend most of their time on fp.
You make it sound asif you need to spend the whole day rehearsing for the next day :buddy:
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