• Robert J. Smith
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Who am I? Or, more accurately, I should ask: what am I? I am a member of the human race. No, that is too specific. I am a body of organs. No, my scale is still too small. I am a conglomeration of atomic beings, all of which are integrated together in such a precise way that with the displacement of a single particle I would be altogether different. I am different from the other animals of this planet. Am I? I suppose I am not entirely sure in that respect. I live, breathe, and eat. I suppose you could say that I am indeed the same as all the other animate beings of this mite of dust floating about in the cosmos. I am, however, capable of conscious thought. I seek amenities, and strive for luxuries. Does this make me capable of conscious thought? Perhaps it does not. I can formulate my own opinions and emotions on a subject. Yet I don not believe this qualifies me as a candidate of consciousness. Any animal can expected to grow feelings towards any stimulant, positive or negative, with the right amount of conditioning. Who is to say I am simply conditioned by evolution to formulate these thoughts and opinions? Who am I, indeed? As I recall, my name is Robert J. Smith. I was born on December 24th, 2011, or at least that is what I have been told and what I believe. Interesting how even the simplest information of my own origins I know only from the word of others who are just as dependent upon the word of mouth to know their own origins. I am unsure of how long I have lived, as my perception of time has been distorted with its passage. Others pass in and out of my life constantly. To them, they have known who I am for years. To me, I have known them for seconds. It is sad, I believe, that they think they know who I am and yet I myself question that very thing and still have no answer which I can subscribe myself to. I pity them. They do not realize they are investing their lives into a man -- Or rather, a compendium of particles arranged in a precise fashion that constructs the being that I am, -- who will never remember them. I do, however, seem to remember a certain man. The thought of him is blurred, his face in my mind's eye hazy. Such is time's cruel toll on the cognitive perception of conscious thought and memory. But it is not this man's face that is important. Rather, it is his idea that has acted a solace for me over the expanse of time. He formulated something about relativity, as I seem to recall. I believe he explained it rather simply: "When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour." It is intriguing then, that I may very well be sitting upon the largest bed of embers known to existence. I no longer choose to acknowledge time. To me, it is as insignificant as my date of birth, just as are my date of conception and my coming date of termination. I seem to recall that December 24th was, once, an important day, to some. But now I am no longer sure. I suppose time is still rather significant, but only in the aspect that it saps me of my memory and perception of its passing. Time passes by me like a graceful dancer, but, by the time I have looked up from my seat to enjoy her beautiful dancing, the recital is over and the next ballet is about to begin: A ballet that I have no ticket for. It is amusing; to say the least, that things that once seemed to be so important no longer hold the slightest hold over me. Even things like my identity have no real meaning. But, now that I entertain this thought, I quietly ponder. Who am I? Or, more accurately, I should ask: What am I? I am a member of the human race. Am I? I can not seem to recall. My name is Robert J. Smith. Does this name make me a human being? Does this name make me anything? It seems so unimportant, and so very frivolous. Who am I, indeed? I am Robert J. Smith. I sit upon the hottest bed of embers known to existence: a cauldron of boiling water hotter than the heat of four hundred billion suns. What am I? I am a slave to time. I am Robert J. Smith: nothing more, nothing less. EDIT: Wait why was I rated late?
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