• Why do people sabotage their happiness with sexually incompatible relationships?
    68 replies, posted
I was reading yet another tragic post on Reddit about sexual incompatibility (who doesn't love to watch trainwrecks?) and then I saw this sentence appear in a Facepunch thread: [quote]She has strong feelings for me and one day I told her I used to (Haah. Used too?) Look at porn, She told her counselor that because it bothered her[/quote] And that got me thinking: why the shit does this still happen in 2010? [b]How many sad stories have you heard of guys talking about how they're in the doghouse/going to breakup because their girlfriend found out they watch porn?[/b] Stop going out with someone who doesn't agree with you about porn. [b]How about the poor guys who like blowjobs (or worse, sex) and don't get them as often as they'd like?[/b] Assuming you're willing to reciprocate fully, stop going out with someone who isn't as into oral/sex as you are. But please don't fucking whine if you aren't a lover of muff munching. That's just being a selfish asshole. [b]Do you like really kinky sex (or really vanilla sex) that you aren't getting, but are you afraid she would break up with you if you articulated that to her?[/b] Tell her straight up and if she does, this is ultimately a good thing for both of you. If not, then you can find someone to be truly fulfilled with. This isn't sexual, but it's often related to sexual incompatibility: [b]If you two are completely different in terms of religion and you don't see either of you happily changing, [i]break the fuck up.[/i][/b] See the pattern here? If your partner cannot meet your needs and desires and also cannot accept your tastes/beliefs, break up with them. Otherwise, you're going to waste a lot of time, energy, and money with someone that you are ultimately going to be miserable with. While the short-term dumping experience might suck, ultimately, [b]both[/b] of you are going to be happier with more compatible people. The worst part is when I read stories like this with people who are [b]engaged[/b] or even [b]married[/b]. Holy shit, the whole point of dating is so you can find someone that you can be completely open with (and have lots of amazing sex too!). Now, if you don't like/don't watch porn or blowjobs or whatever (what a sad world!), then that's cool. Find someone who complements you. These are ultimately beliefs and desires; no one has the objectively correct one. A girl isn't a crazy bitch for not liking porn, just as a guy isn't a crazy bitch for liking it. Although my girlfriend and I think it definitely helps keep relationships vibrant, that's just our opinion. If you want some personal experience, I went out (and lived) with someone for three long years where I could never tell her I watched porn. There were some really great times and we had sex three to five times a day (oh college!) every day, but at the end of it, I was just really unhappy having to hide something that I really enjoyed. The breakup fucking sucked (most of that was due to having to live together for a couple more months before our apartment's lease was up), but I eventually found my current girlfriend and since then, it has been seriously awesome. We watch and share porn together and I love being completely open with her. Please find someone like that instead of feeling like you have to settle. You're doing no one favors. The less of these threads I see on Facepunch, Reddit, and elsewhere, the happier I think we all will be :) [i]This is written with language geared towards cisgendered, straight guys, considering there's so few women on Facepunch, but all of it applies to any sex, gender, and sexuality.[/i]
If a chick gets bothered by me looking at porn fuck them.
[QUOTE=Aman V;25532036]If a chick gets bothered by me looking at porn fuck them.[/QUOTE] Seriously. What happened to self-esteem and confidence?
Because some guys think with their dicks, not their hearts
[QUOTE=Mane;25532065]Seriously. What happened to self-esteem and confidence?[/QUOTE] high self esteem is nonexistent these days
[img]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=350171&dateline=1287100662[/img] Is it just me or do gay guys give surprisingly good advice on women?
A lot of people don't know this stuff before they date them.
[QUOTE=Endgame23;25532081]Because some guys think with their dicks, not their hearts[/QUOTE] [B]and[/B] not their brains you'll find that a lot around facepunch
[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;25532108]A lot of people don't know this stuff before they date them.[/QUOTE] Exactly, people like to show the best sides of them at the beginning. No wonder divorce rates in the states are over 50%
[QUOTE=Nerts;25532093][img_thumb]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=350171&dateline=1287100662[/img_thumb] Is it just me or do gay guys give surprisingly good advice on women?[/QUOTE] Haha, I'm actually alluding to this: [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gucci_Mane[/url] And that's sadly not that accurate of a stereotype; the advice from I would get from my gay friends on anything involving relationships wouldn't be any better or worse than what I'd get from straight guys or girls. Well, maybe better than the straight guys :p [QUOTE=Endgame23;25532171]Exactly, people like to show the best sides of them at the beginning. No wonder divorce rates in the states are over 50%[/QUOTE] And that's exactly why you gotta be straight up honest and open at the beginning. Don't wait until five years down the line, or heaven forbid, an engagement or marriage (shudder).
If a woman sent me into the "doghouse" for watching porn. I'd just say "U mad?"
All my relationships have sucked hard, so I've taken a bachelor's vow. For the time being.
[QUOTE=The Advisor;25532199]If a woman sent me into the "doghouse" for watching porn. I'd just say "U mad?"[/QUOTE] And this is a man who has never had a girlfriend (and most likely never will).
[QUOTE=Darth_GW7;25532238][B]All my relationships have sucked hard[/B], so I've taken a bachelor's vow. For the time being.[/QUOTE] I'd avoid the words "Blow" "Suck" "Dick" "Ass" and "Hard" in this thread as much as possible.
Yeah, I always get confused when girls think watching porn is THAT big of a deal. It's not. I also hear you loud and clear on the reciprocity issue. Had a best friend whose girlfriend only took and never gave, which was a shitty experience for him.
[QUOTE=The Advisor;25532199]If a woman sent me into the "doghouse" for watching porn. I'd just say "U mad?"[/QUOTE] We got a prime candidate for a future divorceé, folks.
Who needs porn if they have a girlfriend?
My guess is the girl feels violated at how theyre not the one being looked at but another female. Girls continuously subconsciously compete with other girls no matter what they say. So when their main man goes off and looks at other females they feel offended and degraded that theyre not good enough for them in that moment. And well it has been proven that the location of emotions and verbal communications in the brain are right next to each other so they have an easier time saying what their current emotional feelings are. And well in all honesty Guys may think with their dicks but girls...they think with their emotion. But some can think better than others with it.
[QUOTE=thf;25533058]Who needs porn if they have a girlfriend?[/QUOTE] Who wants to look at other cars if they have a Ferrari in the garage? [b]Everyone.[/b] [QUOTE=PN_Redux;25533362]My guess is the girl feels violated at how theyre not the one being looked at but another female. Girls continuously subconsciously compete with other girls no matter what they say. So when their main man goes off and looks at other females they feel offended and degraded that theyre not god enough for them in that moment. And well it has been proven that the location of emotions and verbal communications in the brain are right next to each other so they have an easier time saying what their current emotional feelings are. And well in all honesty Guys may think with their dicks but girls...they think with their emotion.[/QUOTE] Girls think with their clits too; they're just never given that sort of credit by guys because many guys are threatened by women who are sexual and not just sexy. And like I said, if a guy or girl feels that way about porn, they should find someone that feels the same way as them. Don't try to work it out because that shit is just unhealthy and useless.
[QUOTE=thf;25533058]Who needs porn if they have a girlfriend?[/QUOTE] Guys who's girlfriend won't, on command, strip and start masturbating when they tell them to, at anytime of the day.
[QUOTE=rathat;25533491]Guys who's girlfriend won't, on command, strip and start masturbating when they tell them to, at anytime of the day.[/QUOTE] This isn't true; my girlfriend and I have an amazing sex life, but we both still watch porn and masturbate because [b]variety is awesome[/b].
Well if you have a great relationship, you can talk to your partner about sexual preferences. There's nothing wrong to it. I did that a lot to, we just randomly talked about wishes and dislikes. Then we summed up everything and it turned out to be fucking awesome.
I'm actually nicer the more I get to know someone, otherwise I have a really abrasive personality, even if I am nice to you, my nice ain't that nice. [editline]20th October 2010[/editline] Well, I think it's nice, other people don't.
[QUOTE=Mane;25533487]Who wants to look at other cars if they have a Ferrari in the garage? [b]Everyone.[/b][/QUOTE] What if we don't like Ferrari's?
[QUOTE=Mane;25533530]This isn't true[/QUOTE] No it is true, I ment unless your girlfriend will do that, then you should still watch porn.
[QUOTE=Mane;25533487] Girls think with their clits[/QUOTE] :eek:
[QUOTE=Endgame23;25532171]Exactly, people like to show the best sides of them at the beginning. No wonder divorce rates in the states are over 50%[/QUOTE] They've been over 50% for a long time. I think now it might be near 75%.
I don't want to have sex right now. I don't need to have sex, nor do I want to at this moment in time. All I want right now is someone I can be happy with. I try to ignore anything related to porn now. In my mind, it's not worth it anymore.
[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;25533820]They've been over 50% for a long time. I think now it might be near 75%.[/QUOTE] Thats just awful. People are really that stubborn of each other?
Newsflash: Most people don't know what they want.
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