this ain't professional shit folks
[quote]Ok, this isn’t a story. It isn’t a fairy tale. It’s a real life fucking epic.
It’s the year 2158: the year of virtual reality, cheap beer, and intergalactic hookers. The Earth has become a shithole (which, according to F, is nothing new) consisting of business, entertainment, and houses that all look alike. The planet is slowly falling apart from the inside out: a rotting fruit, only one covered with stubborn maggots who just don’t know when to quit eating. Japan? Underwater. Hawaii? Shark bait. England is slowly sinking into the dark depths of the Cantar ocean, China is covered with trash and volcanoes, and the United Unions of America are just huge asphalt playgrounds. Humans just didn’t know when to stop; I mean, just look at the Star Wars series. If George Lucas hadn’t choked to death eating something probably really fucking expensive, he’d be surprised about how damn wrong he was about what the future was going to be like.
Travel back to the year 2030, when aliens first make contact with the humans during World War 3. A race called the Hunarians (smelly fuckers) landed on what is now called Iron Bay, forcing both the Chinese and Americans who had been launching nukes in each other’s faces to sign a peace treaty to deal with the “alien menace” (racist bastards). Turns out these aliens just happen to be peaceful ones, and the United Nations agreed to let them settle where they landed, the island of (what was) Puerto Rico, and comingle with human kind. What happened next is best told through what my good friend F once said, “There was an itch in the fabric of normality, and then a goddamn explosion”. Fifteen years later, after technological breakthroughs in floating cars, renewable energy and all that thanks to the Huns, more space ships show up. These ain’t Hun ships; these are Borokols, and compared to kittens like the Hunarians these nasties are like king cobras. Apparently the Huns didn’t pay the Borokols some “protection money” they needed to pay in order for their planet to not be blown to kingdom come, and the Boroks wanted them to pay up. When they sent a representative to the USSR (I guess because it was the biggest looking) to demand where the Hunarians had settled on earth, the Russians made the single most stupid decision in all of mankind (and that’s saying something); to fire on the Borokols. Ten star fleets and one year later, the USSR is a steaming pile of vodka and burned flesh. Bullying the UN into giving them control of Russia in exchange for peace with the Huns and all of Humanity, the Boros slowly take control over all of Asia. They take China, and then Korea, and then tiptoe across the Philippines to Australia… you know the drill.
2100. Humans are a minority. A documented 15 different alien species have landed in what was once considered the most beautiful planet in the universe (which is total bullshit, the grasslands of Sol kick Africa’s ass), and now look like’s something like a cross between a Frank Lloyd Wright wet dream and a garbage pile. Look in every direction, and you’d see grey and more grey, with a little bit of dead man blue mixed in. The United Unions (separated in 2067, during a dispute between the southern Borokol occupied states and the human north) is still considered the “dream” place to go, even though nobody showers and the food consists mainly of protein shakes and bread. At least that’s what the poor sections (75%) are like; Royale Vala, the “paradise city” of the UU, is where the grass is green and the girls are (moderately) pretty. Everywhere else, crime rate has gone up 78%. People float around in gutters like paper boats on a sickeningly normal summer day (not that I ever did any of that shit, I was more into making rafts) and people hardly bat an eye. Grand President Henry Cantar (who named everything after himself, even the fucking oceans), a Borokol, makes two decisions: to fully invest in space ports so earthlings can easily travel from planet to planet, and that the rising rebellion of criminals must be dealt with.
I could go on and on about inter-spacial traffic ways and all that baloney, but decision number two is where I come in. Much more important.
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That's pretty good- fits the bill for good informal writing.
its not done of course, not at all
I'll add chapters
[QUOTE=Corporal Yippie;21397252]A documented 15 different alien species have landed in what was once considered the most beautiful planet in the universe (which is total bullshit, the grasslands of Sol kick Africa’s ass)[/QUOTE]
I like this story. I want moar.
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