Facepunch Anonymous Confessional: More Things Better Left Unsaid - General

[B][U]Facepunch Anonymous Confessional: More Things Better Left Unsaid[/U][/B] With Ventilated gone, and our needs for weird shit said in confidence left wanting, I have elected to pick up the mantle of the Anonymous Confessional in an [I]Official Moderator Capacity[/I]. Here's the skinny on this thread, for those unfamiliar: you submit anonymous confessions using disposable email accounts ([B][url]https://www.guerrillamail.com/[/url][/B]) to my email address ([B]FacepunchCommunity@gmail.com[/B]) and I post them here for people to marvel at. You finally have a venue to admit that you sniff your sister's panties in complete privacy, though admittedly not without judgment, since half of Facepunch will then read that confession and wonder where, in your curious life, you may have gone wrong. Of course, you can also use this to anonymously ask for advice from myself and the community on sensitive subjects that you'd rather not have your name on. For every confession I post, I'll try to leave at least a short personal response to it. Only submit anonymous confessions [U]to my email[/U] at [email]FacepunchCommunity@gmail.com[/email]. [I]If you send them to me in a Private Message, I will not censor your name, and I can't guarantee freedom from consequence if you admit to something egregious[/i]. Also, I choose which confessions to post to the thread, so you aren't gonna be sticking it to the man by sending in dumb shit. I'll just delete it and move on, yo. Here's an example of how your anonymous confession will be displayed in the thread: [quote="John Doe"]I sniff my sister's panties. I'm not sure how it started, but now I can't stop. I can't even look her in the eyes anymore, and she has no idea why. Thanksgiving was a nightmare.[/quote] Followed by: [I][A succinct and witty response from me, the Moderator, Big Dumb American, AKA-- BDA, AKA-- The Wildman].[/I] Also, don't forget to swing by the [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1448742"]Facepunch Community Contest thread[/URL] for a chance to win custom titles and gold membership, if any of this happens to inspire some creative eroticism in you. [B]Let's get cracklin'.[/B] POST-SCRIPT: Don't announce which anonymous confession is yours, you doofus.

awww yes it's a joy to have this back

The first one, to start us off on a good foot. [quote="John Doe"]As a kid I would poke my cat's vagina with a stick. At the time I didn't know what I was doing, but ever since I started doing it my cat would jump on my lap every day, purr and stroke her fur on me. Apparently she saw me as her partner [/quote] I wouldn't open any doors that you can't close, especially when it comes to sexual exploration with cats. They have [I]barbed penises[/I], you know. [quote="A presumably hot, buxom Jane Doe"]ily for remaking the anon confession thread <3[/quote] I love you too.

Doesn't guerillamail have an IP attached to the subject if you use it to send a mail? Doesn't that mean that you as a mod can cross check that with our IP's and figure out who sent the email? Unless you use a proxy or public wifi

[QUOTE=Max;47035358]Doesn't guerillamail have an IP attached to the subject if you use it to send a mail? Doesn't that mean that you as a mod can cross check that with our IP's and figure out who sent the email? Unless you use a proxy or public wifi[/QUOTE] I dunno, maybe? Use a different one, if you feel safer. Do you have any recommendations? [editline]/[/editline] It doesn't look like it has an IP address listed that I can directly access, though there is a "report abuse" link attached to the email, which appears to simply send a copy of the email to the GeurillaMail team for review. I don't see any way that I can trace it back to any specific account here on Facepunch. Still, though, feel free to use a different email service if you want. [editline]29th January 2015[/editline] [quote="John Doe"]I am 24 years old and my name is John Doe. For some reason, I was a bed wetter until like.. 7-8 years of age. That means I have (not so) fond memories of wearing a diaper when going to bed. And being really god damn scared that my school mates would find out about it. The school nurse helped me get over it, with some little piece of clothed metal I put in my underwear. When it got wet, an alarm would go off, waking me up before the bed got wet. After a month of it, I was "cured". This is my closest guarded secret that I have never told anyone. Only my very closest family knows. [/quote] Nothing to be ashamed of, really. I can dig why you'd be embarrassed about it, but from the outside of things, a seven or eight year old wetting the bed sounds pretty normal. The only part of this confession that I found surprising is that they have an alarm system for wetting the bed. That's wild. If it makes you feel any better, when I was seven or eight I accidentally got my dick caught in the zipper of my pants. I had to limp my way to the nurse, in front of everybody, with my junk covered by a napkin, and have her dislodge it for me, and then go back every day for a week or two to get an antibacterial ointment put on.

When i was in primary school i can distinctly remember a couple of bedwetters, didn't really pay it much attention everyone has wet the bed at least once.

[quote="John Doe"]I'm really scared of being alone. Also, I think I might have something broken with my sense of morals because I have no problem with stealing. Finally, I'm really afraid that I'll never find anyone outside of my family that will actually love me and my little brother will get married before me.[/quote] The fear of being alone, and of having the people close to you find love before you do, is very normal and incredibly common. I mean, nobody wants to be alone, do they? As far as the stealing stuff goes: you should probably stop before you go to jail, because I doubt a sexually aggressive, three hundred pound cellmate would make you feel any less alone. [editline]29th January 2015[/editline] [quote="John 'Dickbag' Doe"]I have Multiple but here we go. I hit a car in a parking lot while backing up at my school. It was a red Camry and it left a big dent but no damage to my own car. I just drove away and never saw the car again. Only one person beside me knows Also Im starting to become a furry. I have been thinking of creating my own fursona and making a F-List, I have been listening to lapfox trax for about a year now.[/quote] I don't really understand the furry stuff, but if you enjoy it, then rock out. The hit and run was a dick move, though. I'm judging you.

[quote="'John Dildoe"]One time, I took a plastic broom handle and stuck as much of it as I could into my tender little asshole. The handle was a bit sharp, though, and pretty much sliced open my rectum. I let it just sit and bleed for weeks until I finally got the courage to tell my mother "Hey, my asshole's bleeding can I see a doctor?" Luckily for me, the doctor never told my mother a possible cause of the cute was rigorous anal sex with a cleaning product.[/quote] [url]http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/prostate-toys-c-1139.aspx[/url]

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47036112]The fear of being alone, and of having the people close to you find love before you do, is very normal and incredibly common. I mean, nobody wants to be alone, do they? As far as the stealing stuff goes: you should probably stop before you go to jail, because I doubt a sexually aggressive, three hundred pound cellmate would make you feel any less alone. [editline]29th January 2015[/editline] I don't really understand the furry stuff, but if you enjoy it, then rock out. The hit and run was a dick move, though. I'm judging you.[/QUOTE] As the victim of a hit and run last week that turned my car into an oversized paperweight and forced me to dump all my savings into getting something to replace it, that last confession upsets me deeply.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47035365] It doesn't look like it has an IP address listed that I can directly access, though there is a "report abuse" link attached to the email, which appears to simply send a copy of the email to the GeurillaMail team for review. I don't see any way that I can trace it back to any specific account here on Facepunch. Still, though, feel free to use a different email service if you want. [/QUOTE] the IP is embedded in the headers: [img]http://s.gvid.me/s/2015/01/30/1422602132-40c.png[/img] (This should be the same IP I'm posting with for right now) [QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47035365]I dunno, maybe? Use a different one, if you feel safer. Do you have any recommendations? [/QUOTE] Not a lot of "anonymous" messaging services, generally you'll either need to trust the recipient or another third party to not disclose your identity. you could possibly use TOR to hide your IP, but it's fairly unreliable.

[QUOTE=psychocyclone85;47038545]As the victim of a hit and run last week that turned my car into an oversized paperweight and forced me to dump all my savings into getting something to replace it, that last confession upsets me deeply.[/QUOTE] I know you don't know, but how does somebody manage to damage a car so badly as to total it, and then manage to not only drive away, but to actually be able to get away because I imagine that would attract some attention. Sucks regardless though but damn, that's just bad luck..

[QUOTE=LSK;47038712]I know you don't know, but how does somebody manage to damage a car so badly as to total it, and then manage to not only drive away, but to actually be able to get away because I imagine that would attract some attention. Sucks regardless though but damn, that's just bad luck..[/QUOTE] Oh, it still runs and drives, the problem is in the wiring and electronics. Legally, I cannot drive it, because the driver side blinker was smashed and pushed back and up into the headlight mechanism (it's one of those vehicles where the headlight flip up and down). Without that blinker, I can't drive it, to make matters worse, the wiring in or around there is mangled and has lead to one of the fuses shorting out, this particular fuse governs whether my tail lights and the lights for my odometer and other goodies will turn on when I turn on my headlights (I also think it governs whether my headlights will actually flip up or not). The collision also made an exhaust leak [I]much worse[/I], and probably hasn't done the suspension any favors. On top of that, it's such an old car that fixing it myself or getting mechanic to fix it would either be taxing on me and my fathers sanity or my wallet only to have something else go wrong later down the road.

[QUOTE=glitchvid;47038645]the IP is embedded in the headers: [img]http://s.gvid.me/s/2015/01/30/1422602132-40c.png[/img] (This should be the same IP I'm posting with for right now) Not a lot of "anonymous" messaging services, generally you'll either need to trust the recipient or another third party to not disclose your identity. you could possibly use TOR to hide your IP, but it's fairly unreliable.[/QUOTE] Well, I guess there's nothing that can be done about that! You'll just have to use a proxy or trust that I'm not interested in rooting through IP information just to figure out which one of you John Does once put a broom handle up your ass. If anybody does happen to know of a truly anonymous email service, feel free to post it. [editline]30th January 2015[/editline] [quote="Apathy Joe"]I confess that somewhere after highschool I got bored of everyone. I've been slowly burning bridges for the last 5 years. I also stopped caring about finding love and careless if I die alone. I'm becoming emotionless and I dont care. Apathy has devoured me completely. [/quote] You should probably talk to a professional about this? It's not uncommon to lose touch with friends after highschool, but if you're actively sabotaging yourself and "becoming emotionless", then you've prolly got some janky shit going on upstairs. Depression, maybe? See a doctor. [quote="John Doe-san"]My girlfriend has this weird role play fetish and she wants us to act like how characters from animes, vidya games, etc. would fuck.She's pretty normal aside from that but I don't like having to pretend I'm fucking someone else. I love her and she loves me but its hardly ever enjoyable for me because she calls me by the character's name and it makes me think that I'm being cuck'd by stupid ass Dio Brando or whoever the fuck she wants me to be.[/quote] I guess you're just going to have to transition into a full-time anime. Might as well embrace that.

getting cuck'd by dio brando would be an honour tbh

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47040030]Well, I guess there's nothing that can be done about that! You'll just have to use a proxy or trust that I'm not interested in rooting through IP information just to figure out which one of you John Does once put a broom handle up your ass. If anybody does happen to know of a truly anonymous email service, feel free to post it. [/QUOTE] Was looking around, [url]https://anonymousemail.me/[/url] worked fairly good, I just used a Guerrilla Mail address for the from field, this will pretty much 100% get flagged for spam inside Gmail; so you'll need to check that folder. If people are [I]really[/I] concerned about random sysadmins finding out some dude on the internet likes to wear his sisters panties, then you might consider making a [url=http://colindiener.com/fsu/cgs2821/project11/]public PGP key[/url] and linking to it in the OP.

[QUOTE=psychocyclone85;47038830]Oh, it still runs and drives, the problem is in the wiring and electronics. Legally, I cannot drive it, because the driver side blinker was smashed and pushed back and up into the headlight mechanism (it's one of those vehicles where the headlight flip up and down). Without that blinker, I can't drive it, to make matters worse, the wiring in or around there is mangled and has lead to one of the fuses shorting out, this particular fuse governs whether my tail lights and the lights for my odometer and other goodies will turn on when I turn on my headlights (I also think it governs whether my headlights will actually flip up or not). The collision also made an exhaust leak [I]much worse[/I], and probably hasn't done the suspension any favors. On top of that, it's such an old car that fixing it myself or getting mechanic to fix it would either be taxing on me and my fathers sanity or my wallet only to have something else go wrong later down the road.[/QUOTE] Kind of a car nerd thing but i gotta ask what it is. MX5, Mr2 or something like that?

[QUOTE=glitchvid;47042166]Was looking around, [url]https://anonymousemail.me/[/url] worked fairly good, I just used a Guerrilla Mail address for the from field, this will pretty much 100% get flagged for spam inside Gmail; so you'll need to check that folder. If people are [I]really[/I] concerned about random sysadmins finding out some dude on the internet likes to wear his sisters panties, then you might consider making a [url=http://colindiener.com/fsu/cgs2821/project11/]public PGP key[/url] and linking to it in the OP.[/QUOTE] I'll look into it tonight, sure.

[QUOTE=Trilby Harlow;47042376]Kind of a car nerd thing but i gotta ask what it is. MX5, Mr2 or something like that?[/QUOTE] It's an '86 Pontiac Fiero. (Any other questions and stuff relating to my car should get taken to PMs or Visitor Messages, since it's off-topic)

[quote="Doe Alone"]Often at nights, I wrap my hands around myself, pretending to be embraced by my imaginary boyfriend.[/quote] Hey, who doesn't? [quote="Technical Rape Victim, John Doe"]When I was going through puberty, my cousins and I would have sex. We are all dudes here. So imagine 13 year old me taking it up the ass from a 15 and 16 year old. I liked it.[/quote] I'd rather [I]not[/I] imagine thirteen-year-old you taking it up the ass from your fifteen and sixteen-year-old cousins, if it's all the same to you. What I am trying to imagine is the weird tension that must exist between you all now that you're older. Like, when your family gets together at Christmas, what do you talk about? "Hey, remember that time I statutory raped you?" "Uhm, yeah; it ruled?" [editline]30th January 2015[/editline] Send in more confessions, you dopes. I'm out!

Oh gawd, yes :v:

Even though it was all consensual that last one gives me the heebie-jeebies. :v:

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47035365]I dunno, maybe? Use a different one, if you feel safer. Do you have any recommendations? [/QUOTE] [url]https://emkei.cz/[/url] You can even fabricate letters in there.

That last one,shit. Every 13-year old kid was horny around that age but actually taking it in the ass? :v:

[quote="Lonely Doe"]I broke up with the girl I love, went into extreme depression, almost killed myself multiple times, and still haven't recovered. I'm completely lost and regret almost everything I've ever done. All day, everyday, I think about her and all the good times we had together, and I cry at least once a day, usually at night. I've found a new philosophy: If everything in life ends anyway, including life itself, what's the point in living? In the wise words of Gambino, "Funny, the day you're born, that's really your death sentence." I apologize for being so depressing but idk haha I couldn't think of anything funny than I thought of her and felt like sharing.[/quote] Get some help, man. In complete sincerity. Talk to somebody close to you about it. Reach out to friends, talk to your parents, consult a counselor: do whatever you gotta. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're still in school then you can go talk to your school counselor, and if she's any kind of decent then the least she can do is get you some resources to reach out to somebody for some longer term help. Being in a bad way after a rough breakup is something that everybody goes through; it's to be expected. But if you're making attempts on your life, then this probably runs a bit deeper than the Breakup Blues. Talk to somebody. Nobody beats depression alone. [quote="Insecure John"]I have an incredibly ugly scar on my left arm which basically looks like a giant pimple. I make it seem interesting by saying it is the result of an unfortunate encounter with a now-dead psycho but I really got it by my arm accidentally being impaled by my uncle's cheapo couch in a game of hide and seek.[/quote] I have a birth defect that caused my ribs to cave in like a bowl near my sternum. It's ugly as heck, and I've always been really self-conscious about it. When I was a little kid, lots of other kids would comment about it any time I took my shirt off (because they were kids, and they were curious). I was elementary school age, so for a while I told people that I had been shot and that the doctors had to scoop out the bullet to save me, which I thought made me sound pretty darn cool, until I realized it was really dumb and there was no way that anybody actually bought it. I wore a T-shirt to the pool well into my late teens, and never played "skins" during basketball games, and it's only been in the last several years that I realized that the only person who actually gives a shit about the hole in my chest is me. Nobody else had ever expressed anything other than passing curiosity, excepting the minority of people who make a point of trying to make other people feel bad (and who pays attention to them?). My girlfriend says she doesn't even notice it anymore, unless I bring it up. She's just so used to me having a bowl in my chest that it barely even registers, and my biggest fear growing up was that girls would think it was gross and not want to date me. Turned out not to be the case. The point of all this is that your little arm scar is only a big deal to you. All that telling some goofy story about being assaulted by a psycho is going to do is draw attention to your arm from people that otherwise wouldn't care, and they're much more likely to remember that you told an obvious lie to try and hide an insecurity than they are to remember what that insecurity even was. Quit torturing yourself. [quote="John Duh"]I'm starting to hate atleast part of the users on the forum. If people are seriously getting mad about not being allowed to post 'funny' thing in SH or get that they're not allowed to post their weird porn, you know something is wrong.[/quote] When [I]hasn't[/I] something been "wrong" here? People have been crying that Facepunch is on its last leg since 2005. Every minor cataclysm blows over in a period of days or weeks, and then people just find something new to fret about. That's the way people work. All the rest of us can really do is sit and have a laugh at how dramatic people get over such small things.

Hey, I knew a guy who had a whole like yours, one time some wee kid punched him on a bus and he pretended the kid had caved in his ribs. Was absolutely hilarious, the kid crapped himself. Fair to say the kid learned his lesson.

So glad this has been resurrected, wanted to do it myself but I am not glod and have under 200 posts so no one would trust me. Having said I called this recently [QUOTE=daylightbeast;46905109]We should totally bring back the anonymous confessions thread, I used to love scrolling though that,[/QUOTE]

[quote="Jane(?) Doe"]I think I might be transgender. I say "I think" because I am just unsure, I don't know how any of this shit works and it's awful. My mom knows as well as some close friends of mine, I told them with the hope tht they could help me but I've got nothing, my mom even thinks that because of this I like dudes, which is entirely untrue, I don't think she understands. The longer I am at this standstill on what to do the more I feel like I'm dying or I want to die. I can't even go poking around threads on FP looking for help without worrying people will find out that I do not want to find out. I don't even want to touch the hellhole that is tumblr for this. Part of me hopes that this is just a phase and I'll get over it in time. Another part of me wants this to be true, it knows how much backstabbing and pain I'll have to go through to get to the destination, but it thinks it'll be worth it, that I'll be happy. I don't know what to do, I don't think I'm ready for some of my loved ones to stab me in the back, I'm not ready for people to hate me and wish death upon me for something I barely understand and have little control over. I don't know what the fuck I am anymore. Who am I supposed to be anymore?[/quote] Well, I know that Facepunch has a pretty active trans community, so this seems like as good a place as any to find a support group if you are looking for some folks who are in similar situations as yourself. At the very least, they might be able to help you to clear up some of the confusion about whether you are or aren't trans. Make an alt account if you're worried about protecting your anonymity. Beyond that, getting some non-judgmental professional help could only be a benefit in getting more comfortable with who you are, regardless of gender preferences and whatnot. Having an objective third party who knows just the right questions to ask does wonders for helping you look at yourself from angles you'd never considered before. [quote="Unspecified Doe"]This is something I'm only putting to words now, just as a solitary confession to get it out, maybe voicing it will help me. Feel free to cut it short for brevity, give advice, or be snarky, whatever. I pine after my best friend, very very badly. I don't think it's as deep as love - like, I've thought about dating him, or becoming exclusive with him, but it doesn't really pull at any strings. but sexually, intimately in every sense but love/dating...I want him. I want to be his best friend, I want to bone him, et cetera, I sometimes get a little jealous of his other friends, or anyone he talks to sexually... I don't understand. It's not crippling, but it's very strong 'intimate friendship' feelings.. Yep. That's it. Thanks.[/quote] Are you both male? If so, is he homosexual, or has he given any indications of being a homosexual? If you are and he isn't, then all I can tell ya is tough luck! You'll have to find a way to come to terms with that. If he is a homosexual, or if he's heterosexual and you're a lady, then all I could really advise is taking a step back from the situation, as best you're able to, and figure out exactly how serious you are about this romance before taking any action. If you decide it's worth the risk, then I'd wager that your best bet is to take an understated, but direct approach to this. Without a big dramatic spillage of the guts, imply that you might be interested in more than friendship and ask the dude out to dinner or something. If he says he isn't interested, then things might be a bit awkward for a while, but as long as you handled it with a bit of tact, and he's a reasonable fellow, things will get back to normal eventually. [quote="Weird Doe"]I download pictures from classmates and teachers from social networking sites, write erotic stories about them and jerk off to them. All strictly private for obvious reasons.[/quote] I mean, I guess everybody has fantasized about somebody they know during some self-gratification, but I can't really relate to this one? Erotic short stories aren't sexy at all to me-- they're funny. My friends and I trade overly detailed bang-stories as Christmas and Birthday presents.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47051430] Weird Doe posted: I download pictures from classmates and teachers from social networking sites, write erotic stories about them and jerk off to them. All strictly private for obvious reasons. I mean, I guess everybody has fantasized about somebody they know during some self-gratification, but I can't really relate to this one? Erotic short stories aren't sexy at all to me-- they're funny. My friends and I trade overly detailed bang-stories as Christmas and Birthday presents.[/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure facebook sends a notification when you download someones picture.

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47048377]People have been crying that Facepunch is on its last leg since 2005.[/QUOTE] So you're saying FP is Nintendo? [QUOTE=Jane(?) Doe]I told them with the hope tht they could help me but I've got nothing, my mom even thinks that because of this I like dudes, which is entirely untrue, I don't think she understands.[/QUOTE] This seems to be a really common misconception with transgender people. The reason that it seems like mtf transgender people seem to like guys is the same reason 90% of biologically female girls like guys. The only real difference is that transgender people seem to be a fair bit more likely to be bisexual than actually gay. And as BDA pointed out there is a transgender thread on FP which you can find [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446274]here[/url] which is very welcoming towards people wanting to learn about the subject.

I think this relates to the above post. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIDAmVLw6vs[/media] There's also this, I can't even believe such "Therapists" exist. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnBBqYFGKB8[/media] Stephen Fry is like my idol. Him and Elon Musk are the two people I truly respect in the world right now.