OK so at the moment my mum is sick so I have been ordered to help around the house. I was getting tired of this so I went into my room to have a fap.
Ah yes it was a good fap. Totally worth it.
I cleaned up all the cum with a hankey and chucked it on the floor. Just then, Mum came in with a runny nose and says, "We are out of tissues." She glances at the hankey on the floor, picks it up and blows her nose on it.
She screams loudly and takes the hankey away and there is cum all over her face. She is so angry she gets the nearest thing, which is my xbox 360 and throws it at me.
You wait till your step-father gets home. She storms out of my room. I dont bother going out.
I don't know what to do. When my step father gets home he will surely bash me. Can you give me advice facepunch?
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Dumb thread" - Benji))[/highlight]
Apologize to her. Its the best thing you can do.
Wow, shitty luck man.
''Hey Mom, half of that is yours anyway!''
Shouldn't have chucked it on the floor you idiot.
Wow.
Just wow.
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;25085305]Shouldn't have chucked it on the floor you idiot.[/QUOTE]
Next time, fap in the shower
Its her own fault for blowing her nose in it, if this is serious that is, which I doubt
Explain to your mother and step-father that you needed to relax a bit? I don't know if they're against masturbation but if not. I think it will go relatively well if you explain to them.
If they're against masturbation, I'm not sure what you should do, but tell them that, "I won't do it again" or something. You can probably solve it OP, I wish on you that it will go OK.
Lick it off her face.
you indirectly jizzed on your mum's face
:pervert:
You lucky son of a mum
I have just apoligized to my mum but i got a slap in the face. They are strongly against masturbation.
[quote]I cleaned up all the cum with a hankey and chucked it on the floor. [/quote]
The fuck? That's disgusting man, put it away or use something which you can dispose of.
With your step-father being a guy, you can always hope he is not retarded and knows that it is a very natural thing and that your mum is in the wrong.
If your dad hits you it's child assault, call the kids help line if he does.
Give her seconds.
In our country, (Australia) parents are allowed to hit their children.
[QUOTE=CounterTunes;25085337]If your dad hits you it's child assault, call the kids help line if he does.[/QUOTE]
god just shut up
Parents should be allowed to hit their kids when they get a faceful of cum (even though this is a joke thread) for fuck sake
[QUOTE=Bobs Your Uncle;25085347]In our country, (Australia) parents are allowed to hit their children.[/QUOTE]
No you're not.
I remember on [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Current_Affair]A Current Affair[/url], a girl called the police because her dad slapped her.
Jizz on your face so when your dad hits you, you can be like
"LOL DAD, JOKE'S ON YOU, I HAD JIZZ ON MY FACE"!
[QUOTE=Bobs Your Uncle;25085347]In our country, (Australia) parents are allowed to hit their children.[/QUOTE]
Fuck your dumb, I live in Australia and it is counted as assault (in my state at least)
Simple fact is if they touch you (And yes you sick fucks are going "LULZ XDDD") it is child abuse/assault.
Call the kids helpline and talk to them about it and hopefully they'll sort your parents out that fapping is okay.
You must have some awful smelling cum.
Haha, just excellent, thanks for the laugh OP.
[QUOTE=CounterTunes;25085367]Fuck your dumb, I live in Australia and it is counted as assault (in my state at least)
Simple fact is if they touch you (And yes you sick fucks are going "LULZ XDDD") it is [B][I]child abuse/assault.[/I][/B]
Call the kids helpline and talk to them about it and hopefully they'll sort your parents out that fapping is okay.[/QUOTE]
Jesus I remember why everyone hates you now, you're a moron
BOB: Hello kid's helpline
LADY: What is it
BOB: Well see I masturbated today and then I threw my cumstained tissue on the ground and then my mum came in and used it as a handkerchief and she got a face full of cum and did I mention she's anti-masturbation well then she HIT ME WTF IS UP WITH THAT
Lady: *hang up*
[QUOTE=Bobs Your Uncle;25085347]In our country, (Australia) parents are allowed to hit their children.[/QUOTE]
I'm also Australian and no there fucking not.
On another note, the title of this thread sounds like the name of a porn video.
[QUOTE=CheeseMan;25085372]Jesus I remember why everyone hates you now, you're a moron[/QUOTE]
Sorry Cheeseman, I didn't see your reply until I submitted that.
[QUOTE=CheeseMan;25085372]Jesus I remember why everyone hates you now, you're a moron[/QUOTE]
This. I mean, hitting your kids till they bleed is one thing, but a slap if they do something like this is in place.
Threads like this make me wonder why i even come on Facepunch
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