I live in a high middle class family. I get a lot of what I want. I have a computer with two monitors. I have freedom of speech. I have a talent for art that many do not have. I have a wallet that says Bad Mother Fucker on it. I have a wonderful girlfriend. I have a house to live in and a bed to sleep in. I’ve ridden in a UH-60 Black Hawk. I have a large collection of many fun video games. I have clean clothes and shoes. I go to an art school. If I join the Navy, I get an advanced paygrade. I only have one AP class this year. I have a fun and trustworthy circle of friends. I have a good chance of going to college and majoring in entertainment design. I live in the most powerful and most free country in the world.
I’m fucking privileged.
If that’s true, how come so many things suck? Shouldn’t I be happy? Have I been looking at everything the wrong way? I never thought so, and any negative thoughts I’ve had I suppressed, because I am very fucking privileged.
My dad (behind my back) doesn’t think that I can make it into college by doing artwork with computers. My mom keeps restricting me from the computer because I play some Minecraft every now and again. Even in 10th grade, it’s my 4th year taking an Algebra class because I’ve failed Algebra so many times.
These problems, in the grand scope of things, are ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to worry about any of that! Minecraft is a fucking computer game! Algebra is easy! Why haven’t I passed it already? I can eat three fucking meals a day! I’m eating right now! What’s the fucking problem?
I’ve thought about killing myself, killing others, and pain in general. In my math classes (nowhere else) I draw demons, monsters, and other things killing people and tearing them apart. Tentacles with serrated blades cutting soldiers into shreds as they try and defend themselves.
I’d rather not take my own life. I don’t care about what my parents think, but I would never put my brother and my girlfriend through that kind of torment (I’m 15 and have a girlfriend, I’m too young for love, I can’t feel emotion that deep, I only want to squeeze her titties lololol! Shut up.) I wouldn’t want to put these people into that kind of situation, so I won’t.
More often I think about killing others, most of the time it’s my parents and my teachers. Several times I’ve had fantasies of running through a mall with an M240 and destroying everyone in there. Despite the fact that I have a Ka-Bar and a crowbar at my disposal, I wouldn’t want to kill somebody. Even those that I don’t know. plus, my teachers are just trying to do their job. I know I shouldn’t hate them. If I have anyone to blame, it’s myself. Realistically, I would get caught by the police, go to juvie, and have to live with relatives, which would make everything about ten times worse.
Bottom line is, I know I shouldn’t feel like this. The conditions I live in are phenomenal, and I am grateful for that. I don’t understand how these small problems have made me feel like such a complete failure. My older brother can do anything he wants, he had 4 AP classes his junior year, and got straight A’s on his report card. He’s a remarkable person, and I wish him well on his career as a cartoonist. My younger sister (Yes, I’m a middle kid) is an avid softball player who is likely to get an athletic scholarship. I think she’ll do well and I really hope she does.
I feel like I have nobody to blame but me. I’m living in almost Utopian conditions, with lots of money and good social relationships. But I keep on messing it the fuck up with school, and I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal for me.
Sometimes I think I should see a psychologist or something, but I don’t think my problems are bad enough. Other kids with alcoholic parents, drug addictions, and whatnot need the help more than I do. Plus, I know that it’ll probably make it worse, because I’ll get loads of attention and it will affect my schoolwork.
And I know that GD reads through threads like this a dime a dozen, and I really don’t want to clog up the board with anything you guys don’t want to see. If nobody wants to read this, just leave and it will eventually fall off the front page. I’ve had nobody to really tell all this too, so I apologize for venting.
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Facepunch isn't your personal blog." - Seiteki))[/highlight]
If you kill yourself you'll hurt a lot of people.
If you kill a lot of people you'll hurt yourself.
(And a lot more people.)
[QUOTE=salmonmarine;31927150]More often I think about killing others, most of the time it’s my parents and my teachers. [B]Several times I’ve had fantasies of running through a mall with an M240 and destroying everyone in there.[/B]
[/QUOTE]
Do you own Modern Warfare 2 by any chance?
Cool story bro.
[editline]Edit:[/editline]
Give me boxes but, I'm tired of these fucking: 'poor me' threads.
Try not to kill anyone cause then you'll really be in deep shit
[QUOTE=SuperHoboMan;31927196]Do you own Modern Warfare 2 by any chance?[/QUOTE]
No, but I know the resemblance to the "No Russian" mission.
Oh also, this isn't really the place to post something like this.
I mean, I don't think anywhere on Facepunch is a good place to post something like this.
Make a blog. Or a tumblr or whatever you emo kids are using these days.
Congratulations!
You're Pretentious!
Dr. Buttsex here, my diagnosis is that you're crazy and should be locked up before you hurt yourself or someone else.
Here is a pro tip: [B]PLEASE GROW THE FUCK UP[/B]
Stop over reacting, chill out focus on what is important. You are freaking out over the smallest shit. There are simple ways to solve your "problems".
Also stop being a brat... its annoying.
Well shit. I am in the same boat, I don't have the violent thoughts you do, but I do have a hard time not getting shit grades in school. I am a very smart kid, I just suck fat dick at school. I also have a little sister that gets straight A+'s in school and does phenomal in everything. Makes me feel like shit :bro:
EDIT:
Christ Garry, were the fuck did all the smilies go?
[QUOTE=salmonmarine;31927150]I live in a high middle class family. I get a lot of what I want. I have a computer with two monitors. I have freedom of speech. I have a talent for art that many do not have. I have a wallet that says Bad Mother Fucker on it. I have a wonderful girlfriend. I have a house to live in and a bed to sleep in. I’ve ridden in a UH-60 Black Hawk. I have a large collection of many fun video games. I have clean clothes and shoes. I go to an art school. If I join the Navy, I get an advanced paygrade. I only have one AP class this year. I have a fun and trustworthy circle of friends. I have a good chance of going to college and majoring in entertainment design. I live in the most powerful and most free country in the world.
I’m fucking privileged.
If that’s true, how come so many things suck? Shouldn’t I be happy? Have I been looking at everything the wrong way? I never thought so, and any negative thoughts I’ve had I suppressed, because I am very fucking privileged.
My dad (behind my back) doesn’t think that I can make it into college by doing artwork with computers. My mom keeps restricting me from the computer because I play some Minecraft every now and again. Even in 10th grade, it’s my 4th year taking an Algebra class because I’ve failed Algebra so many times.
These problems, in the grand scope of things, are ridiculous! I shouldn’t have to worry about any of that! Minecraft is a fucking computer game! Algebra is easy! Why haven’t I passed it already? I can eat three fucking meals a day! I’m eating right now! What’s the fucking problem?
I’ve thought about killing myself, killing others, and pain in general. In my math classes (nowhere else) I draw demons, monsters, and other things killing people and tearing them apart. Tentacles with serrated blades cutting soldiers into shreds as they try and defend themselves.
I’d rather not take my own life. I don’t care about what my parents think, but I would never put my brother and my girlfriend through that kind of torment (I’m 15 and have a girlfriend, I’m too young for love, I can’t feel emotion that deep, I only want to squeeze her titties lololol! Shut up.) I wouldn’t want to put these people into that kind of situation, so I won’t.
More often I think about killing others, most of the time it’s my parents and my teachers. Several times I’ve had fantasies of running through a mall with an M240 and destroying everyone in there. Despite the fact that I have a Ka-Bar and a crowbar at my disposal, I wouldn’t want to kill somebody. Even those that I don’t know. plus, my teachers are just trying to do their job. I know I shouldn’t hate them. If I have anyone to blame, it’s myself. Realistically, I would get caught by the police, go to juvie, and have to live with relatives, which would make everything about ten times worse.
Bottom line is, I know I shouldn’t feel like this. The conditions I live in are phenomenal, and I am grateful for that. I don’t understand how these small problems have made me feel like such a complete failure. My older brother can do anything he wants, he had 4 AP classes his junior year, and got straight A’s on his report card. He’s a remarkable person, and I wish him well on his career as a cartoonist. My younger sister (Yes, I’m a middle kid) is an avid softball player who is likely to get an athletic scholarship. I think she’ll do well and I really hope she does.
I feel like I have nobody to blame but me. I’m living in almost Utopian conditions, with lots of money and good social relationships. But I keep on messing it the fuck up with school, and I can’t understand why it’s such a big deal for me.
Sometimes I think I should see a psychologist or something, but I don’t think my problems are bad enough. Other kids with alcoholic parents, drug addictions, and whatnot need the help more than I do. Plus, I know that it’ll probably make it worse, because I’ll get loads of attention and it will affect my schoolwork.
And I know that GD reads through threads like this a dime a dozen, and I really don’t want to clog up the board with anything you guys don’t want to see. If nobody wants to read this, just leave and it will eventually fall off the front page. I’ve had nobody to really tell all this too, so I apologize for venting.[/QUOTE]
Happiness is not something you achieve by doing those things. There is no form of lifetime happiness. Everyone's life has it's ups and downs. It's a way of the world.
You appear to feel like you are in the shadow of your brother, and upset about your parents restricting you. That's typical teen stuff. As for the shooting people thing, you may want to get that checked out, but it's your judgement on how serious it is.
[QUOTE=SuperHoboMan;31927226]Oh also, this isn't really the place to post something like this.
I mean, I don't think anywhere on Facepunch is a good place to post something like this.
Make a blog. Or a tumblr or whatever you emo kids are using these days.[/QUOTE]
I'm not emo, but I from reading this post I see the similarities. If I made a blog, it would be pretty pointless for the same reason this thread is pretty pointless. I just needed to get that out there, and I thank all the users here who have read it, regardless of if you rated me dumb or not.
Their is a secret in life. It sucks. No matter how rich or poor you are you have problems. Yeah, you have a better life than lets say a kid in the Congo. Just try to look on the bright side of life.
I think this article would help you
[url]http://www.cracked.com/article_19376_5-scientific-reasons-your-idea-happiness-wrong.html[/url]
[QUOTE=DarkCarnage;31927249]Well shit. I am in the same boat, I don't have the violent thoughts you do, but I do have a hard time not getting shit grades in school. I am a very smart kid, I just suck fat dick at school. I also have a little sister that gets straight A+'s in school and does phenomal in everything. Makes me feel like shit :bro:[/QUOTE]
On the optimistic side, at least she doesn't rub it in your face
[QUOTE=salmonmarine;31927256]I'm not emo, but I from reading this post I see the similarities. If I made a blog, it would be pretty pointless for the same reason this thread is pretty pointless. I just needed to get that out there, and I thank all the users here who have read it, regardless of if you rated me dumb or not.[/QUOTE]
No, see, this is the kind of thing you see a therapist for.
Facepunch, and every other website you could post this on, is not a replacement for a real therapist. You even said yourself you should see a psychologist or something. This was a pointless thread to make because there are much more productive ways to deal with your problems.
Dude, smoke some weed or something. Shit like that takes stress off.
[b]GET A FUCKING BLOG[/b]
if you fail to succeed, try harder
Suck your teacher's dick.
If you fail to harder, try succeed.
In other words this thread is terrible, and you're being an emo, just stop man.
I know where the OP is coming from, and his thoughts are really, really familiar to me, but get some self-restraint. I found creative activities as an outlet are a good way to rid yourself of these thoughts are urges. Rather than killing a lot of people, write a story where some villainous character kills a lot of people. Get something you can put these urges into, and absolve yourself from them.
Or don't I don't really give much of a fuck. You seem kind of ungrateful about life.
Don't listen to your parents if they're not giving you support. You're old enough to function and make your own choices. If you truly want to do the things you're doing, do them and you will be successful in the end.
Oh great, another "My life sucks even thought it doesn't" thread with suicidal and homicidal tendencies and everything.
And look at that you're just a kid too, yep this is going right here in my "pretentious bullshit" folder.
Who would have guessed that a kid thinks his life sucks, you're not even old enough to make anything out of it, come back when you [b]are[/b] old enough and still can't make anything out of yourself, that's the real problem.
I'll give you one thing though:
[quote]I’m too young for love[/quote]
This part made me laugh my ass off.
Also, if you think your school life has been hard or by any means troublesome you can ask me. I've had a terrible experience getting through school, and while at times it has got me depressed and whatnot you'll get over it. I'm not going to bother typing it all up unless you want to hear it, so reply to this if you or anyone else does.
Sounds like a pretty awesome life man.
Try and find a hobby, or something that you really like to do. Coming from a good family, you can do anything you would like. Think of what your parents have set you up for. You can go to any college you want, etc. Just learn to relax a little in life, listen to music, chill out, take a walk. And the hardest thing- do your homework and study. It will make your life so much less stressful and make school more enjoyable. I know I'm jumping all over the place here but there is much in life you haven't yet experienced, you seem like a cool dude and I wish you luck.
Feel free to hit me up.
Do some gardening and grow a pair, YOU CUNT.
You have already stated about yourself being privalledged, so go and act like you are. Fuck. Even if you didn't have a fucking this that and the other, your coming from a first world country, you eat 3 meals a day and you have shelter and warmth.
Shit, you sum up the 'first world problems' jokes
[QUOTE=Raptor;31927469]Sounds like a pretty awesome life man.
Try and find a hobby, or something that you really like to do. Coming from a good family, you can do anything you would like. Think of what your parents have set you up for. You can go to any college you want, etc. Just learn to relax a little in life, listen to music, chill out, take a walk. And the hardest thing- do your homework and study. It will make your life so much less stressful and make school more enjoyable. I know I'm jumping all over the place here but there is much in life you haven't yet experienced, you seem like a cool dude and I wish you luck.
Feel free to hit me up.[/QUOTE]
Thank you a lot, I appreciate what you've said here. If anything shakes loose, I'll send you a PM.
[QUOTE=AimlessGiant;31927379]Don't listen to your parents if they're not giving you support. You're old enough to function and make your own choices. If you truly want to do the things you're doing, do them and you will be successful in the end.[/QUOTE]
I see where you're coming from, but I still should respect my parents for what they do for me. Also my dad has no faith in my artwork whatsoever, and my mom doesn't let me make textures/sprites and whatnot because that requires a computer, and that's a homework distraction.
[QUOTE=Grim Joker;31927371]I know where the OP is coming from, and his thoughts are really, really familiar to me, but get some self-restraint. I found creative activities as an outlet are a good way to rid yourself of these thoughts are urges. Rather than killing a lot of people, write a story where some villainous character kills a lot of people. Get something you can put these urges into, and absolve yourself from them.
Or don't I don't really give much of a fuck. You seem kind of ungrateful about life.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, that's a good idea.
[QUOTE=Mr.Goodcat;31927272]Their is a secret in life. It sucks. No matter how rich or poor you are you have problems. Yeah, you have a better life than lets say a kid in the Congo. Just try to look on the bright side of life.[/QUOTE]
Part of the reason I made this thread is because I'm saddened by the fact that there are people out there in deeper shit than I am, and that I'm still complaining. Really ironic, but I'm telling the truth.
[QUOTE='[GRiM];31927283']Dude, smoke some weed or something. Shit like that takes stress off.[/QUOTE]
No, that's illegal, expensive, unhealthy, and would make things worse.
[QUOTE=ManningQB18;31927275]I think this article would help you
[url]http://www.cracked.com/article_19376_5-scientific-reasons-your-idea-happiness-wrong.html[/url][/QUOTE]
Thank you, that was interesting.
[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;31927479]Do some gardening and grow a pair, YOU CUNT.
You have already stated about yourself being privalledged, so go and act like you are. Fuck. Even if you didn't have a fucking this that and the other, your coming from a first world country, you eat 3 meals a day and you have shelter and warmth.
Shit, you sum up the 'first world problems' jokes[/QUOTE]
If you actually read what I posted, you would realize the hole in your argument that's the size of a garage door.
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