I just wrote this down since I had this type of scene in my head for weeks, it's not long but I might continue on it. C&C please?
[i]‘As his boots crunched the soft snow lining the French street, the rumble of German mechanical wonders were heard overhead. He adjusted his coat collar and stepped out onto the brick road. As he stepped inside of the cramped apartment block, the dull hum of the heating unit filled the hallway. He rattled the key into the lock of his door, and heard the satisfying click. He threw his keys onto the drawers, and slumped onto his ratty leather sofa chair. He sipped his whiskey and whispered to himself “Happy fuckin’ 1942”’.[/i]
Very nice, you have a good understanding of how to settle an atmosphere however I had a lot of problems with this part:
"[I]He adjusted his coat collar and stepped out onto the brick road. As he stepped inside of the cramped apartment block...[/I]"
You have him do two completely different tasks right after each other. It's like you accelerated the pace but forgot to gear up.
What Kagrs said. He unlocks the door then throws his keys into the drawer without opening it or walking in.
Yeah, I thought I might've sped that up a bit too much there. Thanks for that guys. :)
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