• I tried to go to a confession over the weekend and the priest told me to get out
    45 replies, posted
I have never been a very religious person. I've always tried to cast aside the dogmatic guide lines of modern religion, and be what I define is a good person, with the wisdom that I have acquired. But a lot of things lately have made me question my own spirituality. How I should act. I suppose that I've made some mistakes, done some "bad" things in the past. So this weekend I saught "retribution". It doesn't come easy. I went to the closest church to my house. I didn't see a no weapons sign so I decided to go in strapped anyway. You never know when heat could come down. I went into the confession booth, and decided to sing. Priest: What have you to confess today, my son? Me: I've done a hell of a lot of bad things, Father. I've never been the religious type, but I guess it's time I make apologies for some of the stuff I've done. Priest: What evils have you confessed? Me: Just last week I beat the shit out of some vet because I refused to salute this American flag he had out front. I banged his girlfriend right after and haven't called her since. Before that, I jumped a dude, was on leave visiting his family, but I warned him not to come here again. This chick who's engaged, I've been having all kinds of sex with her cause she's not really sure of the marriage. Uhh, there's a bunch of other stuff, but I don't know if you want to sit here and hear about it all. Some of it I'm not really allowed to talk about. Priest: My God, man...is this some kind of a joke? WHy do you have such animosity towards the men defending our freedom? I was a soldier in my time... Me: Oh great, a bias Priest. Look, father, I came here to be absolved, not further judged. I admit that I sort of feel bad about some of that stuff, and I want you to do your thing. My personal opinions don't have anything to do with this. Priest: I won't absolve an abomination such as you.* He got out of his booth and opened my door, grabbed me by my shirt collar and pulled me out. I was surpirsed at his bravery/stupidity. Priest: The men and women are sacrificing their lives to do God's will, and YOU would make a mockery of them?!?! Laying his hands on me was one thing, but now he was giving me a political speech I didn't agree with. I grabbed both his wrists and snapped them back releasing his grip from me. I pulled him in close kneeing him in the stomach taking the breath out of him. A few of the people watching were shocked, and ran away in free. Grabbing him by the back I slammed him into the confessional booth breaking through the wood, then dragged him out and slammed his face into a tray of holy water. Holy water was everywhere. I left him in a crumpled mess at my feet, disgusted with him. If they don't want to forgive me, then they're elitists. I came in piece, and he assaulted me. What I did was pure self defense, I didn't even use my weapon (like I should have).* That is the last time I give that a chance. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Copy-paste thread" - Starpluck))[/highlight]
Hvae you considered anger management?
I can't shake the feeling that this is copypasta.
Mad Chatter: My God, man...is this some kind of a joke?
I not really the angriest of fellows Fuck unless you rub me the wrong way I'm a pacifist.
this sounds like something out of a bad movie
You sound like a asshole. You didn't need to beat up the priest.
This is the biggest load of bullshit i've ever read.
[QUOTE=Aredbomb;30302251]I can't shake the feeling that this is copypasta.[/QUOTE] Sure as hell seems like it.
You forgot to post the source: [url]http://bloodwaseverywhere.blogspot.com/2009/01/church-confessional.html[/url]
Sounds legit.
It sounds really unbelievable. Religious people can be a little prone to snap at you for being a 'nonbeliever' or otherwise, but you reacted in a completely inappropriate way. If this story is true, then I'm amazed how you haven't been arrested yet. He grabbed your hands in an attempt to lead you out of the church most likely, and that's not illegal. He's the priest, he can escort you out if he wants.
I didn't really laugh if it was supposed to be a joke
[QUOTE=mastermaul;30302261]This is the biggest load of bullshit i've ever read.[/QUOTE] where is the "i agree but i hope it's real" rating
read a few posts above you.... just some bullshit copypasta
[QUOTE=Dr Magnusson;30302270]You forgot to post the source: [url]http://bloodwaseverywhere.blogspot.com/2009/01/church-confessional.html[/url][/QUOTE] [quote]I can't shake the feeling that this is copypasta.[/quote] called it.
Oh wow thanks op this made my night.
Why would you repost something from 2007 and claim it as your experience? Oh, right. Attention. You had your five minutes, OP. It's too bad Google exists, huh?
I lost it at "Holy water was everywhere."
Alright, proven copypasta. Do you have something to say about this OP?
op is a fag
In case anyone's just joining us: The OP is bullshitting. It's a copypasta from a long time ago. Go back to your lives, citizens.
[QUOTE=Joyful Mystery;30302339]In case anyone's just joining us: The OP is bullshitting. It's a copypasta from a long time ago. Go back to your lives, citizens.[/QUOTE] Thanks for clarifying, I almost let my life flip upside down by this thread.
[QUOTE=Joyful Mystery;30302339]In case anyone's just joining us: The OP is bullshitting. It's a copypasta from a long time ago. Go back to your lives, citizens.[/QUOTE] This post would've made sense if it was before the post with the source. Your post is after all of this, which pretty much makes it obselete.
op is a douchebag
you forgot the part where you beat some 13 years olds who cut you in line
whatever you say
Go to a good church
hahaha holy fuck i cant stop laughing
Reminds me of the time i single-handedly killed Hitler and the rest of the 3rd Reich back in 'nam.
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