• My amature Atuthor try
    13 replies, posted
This is some lore like shit I made while playing World of Warcraft RP, it is an amazing guild btw: Champions of Azeroth, Earthen ring Europe.. well here is some of it like to know if something besides my spelling is completely off in the matter writing technique and what I could do better. Prologue Saland is a fine lad`he has allways been. I personally raised him since he was 2, I found him amongst the ruins, of an, what it looked like newly ravaged wagon, near the gates of Northshire. well I´cud´not see any sign of whom had driven the wagon nor what had been in the reins, so assumed that the poor kido had been left or forgotten in the heat of battle, soo I took him in as my own son, an raised him as such. that´s why I can tel ya people that Saland is a very good kid… Of course we hoped for his kin to show up, we even put up posters in goldshire, but no luck.. As he grew he showed some talent´s, he was strong indeed, but that’s not what was the most curious about the boy, he was a quick learner and he was extremely outgoing and kind. Ye I guess there wasn´t a day I heard the other monks gossiping about him helping them or the other people in Northshire. hmm. ugh# hm.. hm.. Im sorry bout that im old you see some water would ease my throaht so we can go on with the story.. (The old monk smiles abit to you, lifts the water pouch to his libs and takes in what could seem like half of the pouch) ´Thank you kindly well here comes the rest´ ´hm. hm.. I could say for myself that it was meant to happen that one day Saland would venture outside Elwyn forrest, but Id never expected the occasion or that he would be forced to leave his home. of course hunting deer and wolf for meat and skin would not keep Saland occupied for long, same reason I did push him into the mines, and taught him the ways of the dwarfs. So not only have I trained him to be agile and fast but also strong and enduring, great abilities for an warrior I would say. Well that was a bit of topic but I guess you would like to know why he is so great as he is he he.. ( the monk smiles proudly) well the unfortunate circumstances that forced the young lad to leave has an beginning, young love, just as we all have tried it or most of us at least ... he he he... the young girl was daughter of the mayor in goldshire, she had been sent to Northshire to be taught in the ways of the light. I was one of her lucky teachers, she was such a talented young girl, she told me " im going to become the greatets priestes in all of Azeroth" . and she might had become... But Saland and her, Maybel was her name, spent every moment of their spare time together. Maybel taught Saland the ways of light and magic and he taught her about the forest, the earth and the animals. both learnt a lot and grew close. I have never in my life seen such love between two so young people.. well life stayed that way for what became a little more than a year they both had reached the age of 17 when bad things happened in Elwyn forrest. (the monk waited a moment and the glimpse of a single tear rolling down his chin was to bee seen) hm hm.. ugh# ugh# (this time the monk didn´t ask for the water he graped for something in his bag, a red bottle, it was without doubt something strong and alcoholic) Bad events had begun to happen days before the unfortunate night, bands of orcs and corrupted undead had slipped past the guards in Westfall, Redrige and Darkshire and had gone on a rampage upon the humans in Elwyn forrest, well we in Norhtshire thought that we, where safe behind our walls, but the third night of the first killings the abbey bells rang the alarm. I looked out into the night from my shack in the hills above the mines.. the guards where running around yelling out commands to the civilians, while they tried fend off the attackers. it looked to me that the before scattered and rivaling bands of horde scum where working as a team. I grasped my sword and used my translocator pendant ( the monk held up a pendant, it looked like a ordinary pendant, but the sapphire hanging in the chain was glowing strongly and brightly blue) , but when I had arrived at the Northshire Abbey it was too late.. Saland where lying wounded in the abbey entrance, the guards told me he had protected the abbey and the villagers with his life, my young boy had become a man.. the following morning we realized that Maybel where missing... soon after I could not find Saland he had left to find her.. He wasent even healed properly he just left Northshire, and in such a hurry that only a few guards and civilians had seen him, they said he was running in the direction of Goldshire. From there hed´ properly went to Westfall. (the old monk became still, he raised his heavy body from the ground from where he was sitting, grasped his bag and turned around) I have nothing more to tell you, that is all what I know, take care of my son... (the monk turned back around and looked upon the people before him) I have one thing to ask of you champions, help my son and guard him with your life, he will return the favor.. (the monk turned around again, but this time to disappear into the dark of the night) .. more will come
I miss the bad spelling rating
Work on your spelling/grammar, above all else.
yea I kinda new that part xD, note some of it is spelled as I intended it to sound.. but yea thx still wanted to hear more bout your thoughts about the story part Recite: well here is some of it like to know if !something besides my spelling is completely off! in the matter writing technique and what I could do better.
[QUOTE=Nabrever;28796267]yea I kinda new that part xD, note some of it is spelled as I intended it to sound.. but yea thx still wanted to hear more bout your thoughts about the story part Recite: well here is some of it like to know if !something besides my spelling is completely off! in the matter writing technique and what I could do better.[/QUOTE] You count new to spelling/grammar in primary school where writing a word with more than 3 letters is good.
well guess il just drop trying to get an opinion on the story writing instead of the writing itself :P just thought someone could do as Instructed xD
Unless paid, people rarely do what they're instructed to.
[QUOTE=Nabrever;28796837]well guess il just drop trying to get an opinion on the story writing instead of the writing itself :P just thought someone could do as Instructed xD[/QUOTE] but i think that the structure and flow of the sentences and the word choice, the prose, are as important to the work as the content of the narrative itself
yea well I tried I am not that good at English writing it seems xD that´s also good to know hehe
yea I kinda new that part xD, note some of it is spelled as I intended it to sound.. but yea thx still wanted to hear more bout your thoughts about the story part yea I kinda new that part xD [b]xD[/b] [h2]xD[/h2] :frog:
[QUOTE=LieutenantLeo;28800117]yea I kinda new that part xD, note some of it is spelled as I intended it to sound.. but yea thx still wanted to hear more bout your thoughts about the story part yea I kinda new that part xD [b]xD[/b] [h2]xD[/h2] :frog:[/QUOTE] I cannot agree enough. I'd try to read this but the way this guy types makes me rage.
[QUOTE=Sabrina;28802084]I cannot agree enough. I'd try to read this but the way this guy types makes me rage.[/QUOTE] I was going to read it, I mean the story didn't look terrible, but it looks like a generic middle-earth kind of story that you wrote after playing World of Warcraft. That combined with the grammar and spelling just made me give up.
Please make more.
The problem with your writing currently lies solely in your terrible spelling and grammar. I cannot get into the story because I can't read it. If you want to ask us about your writing skills, give us something we can read. Also, 'amateur' and 'author'.
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