Fresh walked through the automatic sliding doors, back into the Grocery Store. A cup of coffee was in his right hand, still about half full from his break that he just finished. He took a sip, and walked back over to the Seafood Department that he was currently in charge of. Nobody else was in the department - Fresh was all alone at his shift. He doubted anybody would go to the gourmet counter that he was supposed to be watching, otherwise he wouldn't have left the store.
He checked the clock. 6:45. Fresh's shift was to last until 8:30, and he still had to do the cleanup for the night. He was in no hurry to start, though. It barely took him an hour, and even then he barely needed to concentrate to get it done. He walked over to the shelf where he left his shift clothes and put his shirt on overtop of his grey undershirt, then slid the baseball cap reading "METRO" over his long hair. He took another sip of his coffee, and attempted to find something to do until 7:30 rolled around.
Fresh leaned against the table behind the gourmet counter, holding his nearly empty coffee. He swished the cup around and stared inside the small hole he was sipping the drink from to attempt to amuse himself. It didn't work. He glanced again at the clock. 6:57. Fresh rolled his head back and stared at the cieling, closing his eyes. He tried to bring himself into a state of calmness to relieve the stress of being bored for another 33 minutes, when he could hear a shrill squeal, seemingly coming from nowhere.
[I]Baby, Baby, Baby oooooooh....[/I]
As he peeled open his eyes, he heard a loud shriek, causing him to drop his coffee on the cement floor. He stared over at the source of the sound, and it happened to be two pre-teenaged girls, Adoring the same thing Fresh found Revolting. They jumped up and down slightly, and started talking to each other, while their mother a few feet away took gorceries from the shelves as she passed them.
Fresh's eyes glowed a searing red with hatred. His breathing became slightly more pronounced, and the hair on his chin stood on end, as though it was trying to pull itself out of Fresh's skin so it would no longer be alive.
Fresh hated Justin Bieber, and his fans.
Fresh covered his ears and walked into the back room of the Meat Department, immediately next door to the Seafood one. In there, the noise was much harder to hear, though it was still distinguishable from the generic sounds of the store. Fresh glanced over at the wall to his left, and saw a small CD Player. Normally, it was to be used by Meat Department workers while they were preparing foods or cutting sides of Beef, to make their jobs a bit mroe lively. Fresh had experience in choosing the songs, especially when he was called to work back there. Thinking on his feet, Fresh ran over to the CD Player, unplugged it, and ran back outside to the Storefront.
There was an outlet in the open room nearby the Seafood's gourmet counter. Fresh hurredly plugged in the CD Player, and hit play on the Display. Almost immediately, the CD could be heard spinning inside the small player, and then the display flashed a number "1". Fresh turned the volume dial all the way up.
Immediately, Bieber's shrill voice could no longer be heard. Eddie Van Halen was too busy playing an extremely long Guitar solo. The two little girls stopped talking to each other and looked over at Fresh, then walked over to their mom and pointed at him. The mother walked over to Fresh accompanied by the girls.
Fresh crinkled his skin with his massive smile, which almost forced his eyes shut. His teeth were slightly agape from him stretching his jaw so widely. t was almost as though his jaw was stretched away from the rest of his face. With this expression on his face, Fresh looked at the mother and her two brats, and simply said:
"Problem, Customer?"
The Mother glared with seething hatred at Fresh, though he kept his expression the way it was. "Excuse me," she said in an irritated voice. "Could you turn that off? My daughters can't hear the music that the store is playing."
Fresh simply leaned forward, keeping his expression, and shouted over the music "NO. I am fully allowed to do this."
The mothers face grew even more red. "I'd like to speak to your manager."
Fresh wiggled his arms slightly, not visible behind the gourmet counter. "I AM the manager."
The mother simply scoffed and turned at this news, her daughters following in her footsteps. Fresh removed his massive smile. It hrut too much to hold it for too long.
Soon after, an older looking man walked up to the counter Fresh was standing behind. "I just have one thing to say, young man." Fresh tilted his head to the side. "Rock on." The man curled his middle and ring fingers underneath his thumb, and extended the other two out as far as he could. Fresh did the same, then glanced at the clock. 7:25.
Without delay, Fresh walked over to the storeroom to get cleaning supplies.
This all actually happened, believe it or not. I have dozens of stories from a mere 18 months at my job in the grocery store, so if you would like me to write any more, just say so.
Jo The Shmo thinks this is too annoying to read in the third person.
Third person what the fuck.
[editline]128[/editline]
Ninja'd, clocks time now?
Jolkally does, too.
You guys care way too much about a guy who has no effect on your life.
MOAR STORIES
seriously, this has brought enjoyment to my otherwise hideously tormenting day.
Can we get a TL;DR ?
Also neat story thanks
This is great, more please. Faintly reminds me of that Facepunch Infiltrations thread/IRC/stream we did over the summer.
Cheesedelux thinks that writing about herself in the third person is the latest cool thing to do right now.
Cheesedelux read it and finds it to be quite amusing.
[QUOTE=ineedateam1;25541512]Can we get a TL;DR ?
Also neat story thanks[/QUOTE]
[url=http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?1016731-Story-Time-Fresh-s-Antidote-to-Bieber-Fever&p=25540890&viewfull=1#post25540890]Got one right here.[/url]
Rivershark enjoyed the story, and in particular appreciated Fresh's reply of "Problem, Customer?"
Ehm thinks this story is bullshit, and none of that actually happened.
Kirad scoffs Ehm's attempt to sound cool.
wow dude you're so fucking cool it's unbelievable rock on man!!!
I liked the third person POV.
Made it a little more enjoyable.
That was a good story. I hope to see more from you in the GD soon.
Blind enjoyed Fresh's story and looks forward to reading more.
I liked the story. Keep it up.
-snip-
[QUOTE=Altimor_;25542843]-snip-[/QUOTE]
You can get to fucking off right about now with those pictures.
And great job OP! You deserve a medal.
Foob loves how two guys with Bieber avatars are saying this is awesome.
Foob now know how elmo feels whenever he talks.
EATDEMBEANZ FlND WORDY THING FUNNY! EATDEMBEANZ WANT GIVE RATE BUT EATDEMBEANZ NOT KNOW WHAT RATE HE WANT GIVE!
a username and password is being requested by showyourdick.org? what the fuck
It's in a few threads now.
yeah, nevermind. it's a hidden image that altimor keeps posting.
[QUOTE=Pirate Jok3r;25542859]You can get to fucking off right about now with those pictures.
And great job OP! You deserve a medal.[/QUOTE]
Don't quote his post and just add him to the ignore list.
i used to work for vons; it was just about the shittiest job i've ever, and will ever have.
I applaud you OP. Well done good sir, well done.
Wyvers thinks Fresh has a good writing style, and would like to read more stories.
He is also wondering if Fresh was high in this story.
Fresh. You are awesome. Old guy who came to the counter is also awesome.
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