Once again the voice of a sad boy is silenced by the hand of facepunch
OP, basically everybody is telling you to fuck off, you had your fifteen minutes of fame, and now it's gone.
ffpfpfpfpfpf ahahahahaha oh my god -snipped- already what a schmuck if it's going to go to your head at least maintain
Well, that was quick.
[QUOTE=BrickInHead;29358916][hd]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCp9VUA86lc[/hd][/QUOTE]
I like this one better
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY[/media]
I asked to have this thread locked down because about a second after posting I realized it sucked.
The rules were more interesting than the story. :saddowns:
PS
[quote=OP][B][U]THE FRIDAY FILES![/U][/B]
Damn straight, Facepunch. It's more of my razor-sharp wit and story-telling talent coming straight at you like a drill came at my tonsils in my last thread.
Enough (i.e. about 14) people wanted an encore to my earlier thread, which detailed my orthodontist visit and how it went horribly awry. Some random people said I was the "best new poster on Facepunch", and that's enough for me to give you more.
Couple of rules for the thread, though.
1) [B] NO POSTING YOUR STORIES. [/B] Most people can read the rules for General, but this isn't a "POST YOUR" thread. This is a "POST MINE" thread. I don't give a single shit about your traumatic event, and if the mods bring a hammer down on this thread for morphing into a "post your", I'm going to bring a hammer down on you.
2) [B] DAMMIT, RE-READ NUMBER ONE. [/B]
3) [B] When stories switch, so do comments. [/B] This means that as soon as I put a new story up, all comments shift to that. You can cross-reference things (hey, "X" event is just like what happened in last week's story!), but a week should be more than enough time to have questions asked and answered.
4) [B] Tips appreciated! [/B] I just came onto Facepunch and I don't know how to do anything. Tell me how to do stuff like :ohdear:. I dunno how!
34) [B] Stories are real. Stop complaning. [/B] And if they aren't 100% real, they are 99% real. [U]No exceptions.[/U]
6) [B] Stop complaining on how this should be in Fast Threads. [/B] I already said, it isn't a "Post your", it's "Post mine".
7) [B] Posts come in every Friday. No exceptions. [/B] So don't whine about it, I'm not listening.
__________________________________________________ ______________________________________________
[B]Story One: Douglas Fresh, Black Belt[/B]
There's this kid called Douglas Fresh, a.k.a. Douggie or Doug.
[I](No, not Facepunch's Doug, I dunno who he is, but I know he's banned)[/I]
So anyways, Doug Fresh is the whitest kid you could ever imagine. He takes all honors at our high school, even Orchestra and Spanish Honors, which is the hard course at our school. His 16 year old figure is crazy tall, he has strawberry blonde hair and is really wiry. He also has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He doesn't look it, but in the few fights I got into with him, he has soundly kicked my ass 100% of the time.
He's also a Boy Scout (of America), and so am I. We are both really active in the same troop and when we heard about summer camp, we jumped at the offer of going there. (Before you ask: No, this isn't incest. That's later, pro'lly in another story.)
We get there, and they have these burlap tent-things. It consists of a metal frame with green burlap fabric tied to it. It's on a raised wooden platform and has two cots in it for the two bunkmates. This weeklong campout in particular, I didn't stash my shit with Doug. I tented with this other kid (you might know him as Dr. Cow, SonofBrim's friend. They were actually both there with me!) and, as it was about 10 on a summer night, promptly slept.
I woke up, and we had to go to a role call thing down at the mess hall ("cafeteria" for the fatasses who don't camp). To get to this place, we had to walk down a dirt road for about 1/2 mile, then cros a teensy-weensy bit of wooden area and then a field half as long as the road. We had finished the road and were going through the trees when I saw this junebug.
Anybody who has ever seen a Junebug in real life know that they are these medium sized beetles. Not too big, but big enough to be hard to squish. This one was a mother Junebug, and was sitting in the middle of the path.
I turn to talk to Dr. Cow, when I see Doug's face flash a paler shade of white than it already is.
"Doug, what's the matter?" "I don't like bugs." "NO WAY!" YES WAY!"
And with that, he turns and goes straight through the forest in a 25 foot... wait, what do you Brits use... um... I'll say 3,000 kilometer circle around the bug and then gets back on the track.
I stand there, and another Scout whom I'm in cahoots with walks up to me. "You thinking what I'm thinking?" "Hell yeah!"
After role call, we start classes. This doesn't pertain to the story, so fast forward [B]-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
...ZZZZZZZZZZZZT-[/B] to 3 pm. Now we have something called Siesta, where we can relax for a bit. I meet up with the other scout, and our plan unfolds.
He will go around collecting all the creepy crawlies that he can find, emphasizing heavily on junebugs and centipedes. Meanwhile, I will lure Doug out of his tent and in the time that Doug is out of his tent, he will empty the jar into Doug's cot.
It all goes perfectly to plan.
6:00. Fud time. I go up with my mess kit to the food line, where I get a PB&J sammich (hey, either that or tree bark boiled in sap. Boy Scouts eat hard: I'll do it tomorrow.) I covertly watch Doug get his food and proceed back to his tent.
[media][U][url]http://youtube.com/watch?v=akwc82DOb4k[/url][/U][URL="http://youtube.com/watch?v=akwc82DOb4k"][/URL][/media]
Imagine that noise coming from a 16 year old albino covered in bugs.
It took us about 20 minutes to find him due to his running off. When we did, he was in tears.
Next time, don't beat me up, Doug.[/quote]
A+ thread would read again.
[QUOTE=J$ Psychotic;29358989]I asked to have this thread locked down because about a second after posting I realized it sucked.[/QUOTE]
no you didn't you thought it was hot shit and were horrified to see that you were wrong
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=Hakita;29358986]I like this one better
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY[/media][/QUOTE]
god tier
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGOb1MKVqsc[/media]
Wow he is really shit at writing stories.
[editline]22nd April 2011[/editline]
[QUOTE=J$ Psychotic;29358786]1) NO POSTING YOUR STORIES. Most people can read the rules for General, but this isn't a "POST YOUR" thread. This is a "POST MINE" thread. I don't give a single shit about your traumatic event, and if the mods bring a hammer down on this thread for morphing into a "post your", I'm going to bring a hammer down on you.[/QUOTE]
Ooh internet tough guy.
Best thread 2011
[editline].[/editline]
also op is a 12 year old aspie
Crash and burn.
Haha when someone calls you the best new poster they don't mean everything shitty that you post will turn to gold.
First story was good.
Now your ego's the size of the moon.
Leave FP kthx.
Haha, oh man. He makes a thread, gets a couple "winners," and now thinks he's the posting messiah of Facepunch. Get your head out of the clouds, chuckles.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;29359168]Haha, oh man. He makes a thread, gets a couple "winners," and now thinks he's the posting messiah of Facepunch. Get your head out of the clouds, chuckles.[/QUOTE]
dude he's just trying to be the high schooler version of you... don't hate!
L-L-LOCKED!
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