my father died two weeks ago.
He was 52, im currently 18. No brothers, just me and my mom, whos 51.
She lost both of her parents last year. First her own mother because of a brain hemorrhage, months later her father of stomach cancer.
Although she did not say it, she lost her faith. I did years ago, but for her, it was pretty much all the support she had, besides her brothers.
Whats keeping her active is this academy which she was acepted like a month ago, its about manual arts and stuff like that, 2 days a week, all the day.
But she lost her will for living, i can see it in her eyes. She went back to smoking all day long and im very, very afraid of losing her.
I even once told her "please mom, stop with that shit, now more than never, i cant lose you"
and she said "well, you still got your uncles" like it was the most normal thing on earth.
i can sleep at nights because im fucking tired of crying and overthinking through the day.
I loved my father, but we never got to have a good relationship.
I seriously dont know what to do with my mom.
Let her know how much you love her, like when she said "well you still got your uncles" you should have responded "But they're not like you. You're my mom, I love you." or something like that
I can't provide much advice, but other people on this forum should be able to.
Tell her things she has to live for and tell her honesty how much its affecting you.
[QUOTE=ForDaNords;41510315]Let her know how much you love her, like when she said "well you still got your uncles" you should have responded "But they're not like you. You're my mom, I love you." or something like that
I can't provide much advice, but other people on this forum should be able to.[/QUOTE]
my answer wasnt that much different to be honest.
Family counseling/a therapist.
It sucks, but it's pretty much needed after an event like this; I would know, I went through something very similar when I was eight.
Don't give up on trying to get her to change though, i let go of someone who was all i thought about and all i cared about and i'm sure i'll never see them again. Not a day goes by where i wish i didn't try harder to get them to change back or not just let go when i got fed up of being upset about it all the time.
I've been through the same situation with my girlfriend, I may not be much help but if you want PM me and we can talk. Other than that, I'd recommend a family counselor, hope everything works out for you.
I say support from others may help, like your family, or family counselor / psychiatrist.
Make sure to keep telling her NOT to give up on life.
Nevermind this post, i try to help/give advice but it fell back against me
[QUOTE=Evil_Paper;41510628]I grew up without a father. You'll get through it. Life's a harsh lesson sometimes.[/QUOTE]
So did I, I don't think that's what he exactly needs to be reminded of now [I]dude[/I].
[QUOTE=Evil_Paper;41510628]I grew up without a father. You'll get through it. Life's a harsh lesson sometimes.[/QUOTE]
I already assumed my fathers death. Im focused on my moms life now. I cant do anything for my father but be sad about him.
[QUOTE=Lebowski;41510636]So did I, I don't think that's what he exactly needs to be reminded of now [I]dude[/I].[/QUOTE]
I was implying that there are people who had it much worse
[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Why reply" - MaxOfS2D))[/highlight]
[QUOTE=Evil_Paper;41510628]I grew up without a father. You'll get through it. Life's a harsh lesson sometimes.[/QUOTE]Wow what an awful thing to say, you've never had a father, you don't know what it's like to live your life with them and then lose them out of nowhere.
[QUOTE=autodesknoob;41510674]I already assumed my fathers death. Im focused on my moms life now. I cant do anything for my father but be sad about him.[/QUOTE]
"assumed" in what way?
There's not a lot that you can do at this point. Time is the only remedy. As time goes on, she'll forget the pain and you can help pull her off the cigs. Right now, you can help her by being there. Do things with her, get her out of the house, ect.
Find a good therapist and a good psychologist. Spacing's pretty hard to find with these guys, so do it now.
[QUOTE=Evil_Paper;41510684]I was implying that there are people who had it much worse[/QUOTE]
Have some fucking empathy, now is not the time for you trying to garner attention for your own daddy issues.
[QUOTE=Evil_Paper;41510628]I grew up without a father. You'll get through it. Life's a harsh lesson sometimes.[/QUOTE]
Wow, people shouldn't be unhappy because some people have it worse? Maybe people shouldn't be happy because some people are happier!
Terrible advice, ignore this in my opinion.
This is a really shitty situation, as you already figured out, but I'm gonna suggest that you find something that she enjoys, and you both do it, go to the beach, and have a picnic, don't tell her, just get her one day and say we're going out for a while.
It sounds like she's really upset, and doesn't know how to cope with it, So maybe just time will heal her wounds, I know it doesn't sound useful, but trust me, it works.
You need to show her that there's still people that love her, and you need to be there to support her as she needs to be there to support you. My father died only a few months ago, and I know that in such dire times a family needs to stick together and support each other. Soon, you'll be able to fill in the hole and you'll be able to go business as usual.
[QUOTE=autodesknoob;41510156]
I loved my father, but we never got to have a good relationship.[/QUOTE]
I feel this a lot. Me and my father were finally beginning to get along so well before he passed away, and it bothers me that I never made him proud. But... I know I have to put a brave face on and keep going because that's what he would have wanted. You have to do the same thing. You're going to realize that things are going to be very different without him around, and you're going to feel sad about it a lot, but you should not dwell on what you could have done differently. You just have to keep moving forward, and you'll be able to adapt and change to your new world. Just don't lose hope... things will get better...
Oh no! D: Thats really aweful. Im not trying to look stupid but I felt like I had to say something even though I dont really know what to say. The only thing I can think of is like, dont try and act like you have to fill a gap that your dad left when he passed away, thats not your job, your there to be your mothers son and in time when you both manage to get past your dad's death hopefuly that will be enough for her? I have huge amounts of sympathy for you though, because what happened to you and your mum is shit. Really shit. xo
Edit:
I wasnt trying to be contradictory to the above post either, apologys
[quote]I even once told her "please mom, stop with that shit, now more than never, i cant lose you"[/quote]
Stop selfishly guilting her and instead [i]be there for her[/i].
She needs to know that the world still has people who love her.
Be there for her, we lost our dad last year and my mom was obviously struck the hardest. But luckily we have a big family and we could support her and ourselves, does your mom maybe have any close friends or family? Maybe they should get involved.
just show her this song
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ-L7jUWsFE[/media]
Hug her. Be there for her and thank her for all the strength she's shown before and be strong for her.
i'm like your biggest fan ever on youtube, it's my birthday today and i'd be more than willing to chill with you talking on steam if you want to add me. I know how you feel i've lost both my parents.
[url]http://steamcommunity.com/id/Fuhrer-of-pop[/url]
make her proud
Your situation sounds somewhat like mine, but a lot worse.
One thing you have to remember is that you have to be strong for her, if she is to get better. Try getting a job if you don't have one or buying her a present / spending some time with her to cheer her up if you do. The only thing you can do now is move on with your lives and being optimistic is a good way of making it a positive outcome in the end.
Remember you'll never be alone in this world and neither will she.
[QUOTE=Evil_Paper;41510684]I was implying that there are people who had it much worse[/QUOTE]
"Worse", he says.
Just to clarify. Sorrow measures differently to different people. I don't know if you knew that or not, sounds like you don't...
Is of phase, will of go away
give it all youve got for her, show her your love for her, bring back the joy she's lost, but most importantly
dont get stuck in the present, time will tell how it progresses, act accordingly through the bump
also therapist
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