• Vending Machines are actually a Deadlier predator than Sharks
    136 replies, posted
Partly due to their terrifying appearance, but mainly due to the [I]Jaws[/I] franchise, Sharks are often considered to be among the deadliest animals to exist, next to bears and hippos. One of the main inciting events that lead to such a common fear were the high amount of shark attack reports between 2001-2005, often during the summer, the time of year most people might go to a beach for the day. However, in 1995 (I chose this year because it was the closest year that I could find an accountable source for fatalities of this manner), the number of Deaths directly related to Vending Machines falling over is more than Sharks. Vending Machines - 2 ([url]http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml96/96011.html[/url]) Sharks - 0 ([url]http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/fish/Sharks/Statistics/statsus.htm[/url]) Along with this, the reported number of vending machine deaths between 1978 and 1995 is 37, meaning 2.16 deaths per year. In the timespan known for the highest 10 year period of shark attacks, 1995-2005, there were only six fatalities, or .6 deaths a year. This means you are four times as likely to die due to vending machines than Sharks.
Oh my god the vending machines are going to kill us all!
It doesn't at all surprise me but I believe there may have a number of unrecorded deaths from shark.
sharks: [QUOTE=Kiq;24529519][highlight]sharks don't eat people. they usually bite and dislike the taste of the human's blood, swimming off the latter is correct[/highlight][/QUOTE] vending machines: idiots killing themselves on accident.
Half relevant: Your more likely to die walking to buy a lottery ticket than actually winning the lottery.
[QUOTE=3picFail;24529486]sharks: eat people vending machines: idiots killing themselves on accident.[/QUOTE] sharks don't eat people. they usually bite and dislike the taste of the human's blood, swimming off the latter is correct
I like the drink vending machines with the glass window because you can shake them and get free drinks! One time I got 5 free monsters from one.
Shit happens.
[QUOTE=Bledrix;24529523]I like the drink vending machines with the glass window because you can shake them and get free drinks! One time I got 5 free monsters from one.[/QUOTE] and now i know how people die by them
The overall percentage of vending machine deaths may be higher, but we're more afraid of sharks because there's a higher chance of dying from one during the hour or so you spend in the ocean. So, this ratio should be about deaths per time exposed, and not deaths in total.
[QUOTE=Bledrix;24529523]I like the drink vending machines with the glass window because you can shake them and get free drinks! One time I got 5 free monsters from one.[/QUOTE] Enjoy your death from a vending machine. Seriously, just imagine your funeral. ''Today, we say goodbye to our beloved friend or relative, Bledrix. He had a good life, until he was crushed by a vending machine. He is in a better place now, though.
I think that they put warning signs on them for a reason [IMG]http://www.monzy.com/intro/normalmachine.jpg[/IMG]
The vending machine is known to silently bide it's time in it's wait for prey. If nobody else is around, once the costumer uses the machine the machine will try to deliberately aggravate the human into a fit of rage, in which they will seize the chance and fall on top of the person and crush them. A while afterwards the machine will slowly consume the body of the deceased and process the body.
[QUOTE=Killowatt;24529656]Enjoy your death from a vending machine. Seriously, just imagine your funeral. ''Today, we say goodbye to our beloved friend or relative, Bledrix. He had a good life, until he was crushed by a vending machine. He is in a better place now, though.[/QUOTE]I don't actually pick the vending machine up off the ground. I can't see how people actually tip them over.
I hugged a shark once he was nice
[img]http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/2163/vendevil.png[/img] All I wanted was a pop.
[QUOTE=CyberWatt;24529755][img]http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/2163/vendevil.png[/img] All I wanted was a pop.[/QUOTE] no its called soda
I can just imagine two poor old lil ladies getting crushed to death.
I heard falling coconuts kill more people per year too.
I've found a site that offers to let you swim with Sharks for a nominal fee. [url]http://www.cancun.com/Tours/whale-sharks/[/url] In actuality, Sharks are well aware that humans make for a crappy meal, but it's hard to tell that you're a person when viewing somebody from underneath as a silhouette, and since your comparatively spazzy method of swimming makes you look like an injured fish, that's often why they attack.
[QUOTE=Bledrix;24529523]I like the drink vending machines with the glass window because you can shake them and get free drinks! One time I got 5 free monsters from one.[/QUOTE] which kind? describe better i'm thirsty.
[QUOTE=imasillypiggy;24529804]no its called soda[/QUOTE] nuh-uh
[QUOTE=superdinoman;24529659]I think that they put warning signs on them for a reason [IMG]http://www.monzy.com/intro/normalmachine.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] I never got how that worked :downs: It always fell :saddowns:
[QUOTE=Playaz;24529912]I never got how that worked :downs: It always fell :saddowns:[/QUOTE] Yeah those top heavy sons of bitches. :downs:
[QUOTE=imasillypiggy;24529804]no its called soda[/QUOTE] No its called Soda Pop.
FYI bears are actually worse
It's called soft drink.
I was walking home from the shop last night and a gang of vending machines dragged me into an alley and took turns on my poor bum.
Back in the day, I did a shitty powerpoint animation called "Attack of the killer vending Machines."
ITT: Soda Pop Vs Pop Vs Soda [editline]12:42AM[/editline] [B]GUY'S THEY'RE TURNING US AGAINST EACHOTHER[/B] We must fight the vending machine's uprising
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.