Own content - A super serious first impression of Jazzpunk. - General

So I posted a thread a while back asking about the rules and people opinions on posting our own content, so here it is, an advertisement free look at one of my videos, I know if people are interested enough they know how to get to a YouTube channel, so I wont post a link. Most people seemed to agree that it was okay to post our own content as long as I genuinely wanted feedback and had put effort into the video. The idea for the video was to have one of my friends sit down to play this game, Jazzpunk, without any idea of what the game was and at the same time under the impression that it was something completely different. (If you'd like to have a look at the game heres a link to the website - [URL="http://necrophonegames.com/jazzpunk/"]http://necrophonegames.com/jazzpunk/[/URL] ) I then went through the footage and edited in the 'story' the three of us (me and my friends) had come up with, hence (I didnt mean to sound like a dick writing that) the start and end of the video. [video=youtube;9gipeKXG5uw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gipeKXG5uw[/video] (Video embeds aren't actually working for me so I hoped that worked) I hope you enjoyed the video and I'd really love to get some constructive criticism, I've never actually edited something to this level before, so comments on the technical side are really appreciated as well. I realize it may be utter crap, but ill never get better if I don't try and this is something I'd quite like to get good at.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't get past the first 30 seconds. If you want to get people hooked to the video, try not to bore them with a full 30 second black screen with poor humor. Skipping about the video it seems much less like your first impressions and more like you actually playing the game while dully making quotes like "got a lot in your input there", "It's a joke", and "I think my name's sugar". I think instead you should actually play the game while recording, then do a voice-over with planned out statements, humor, and look up what good cinematography is like (shots should rarely last more than 4 seconds-- let alone 30.) Then your video would be shorter, with more content, planned humor, and interesting shots. Good luck on your next video.

"The idea for the video was to have one of my friends sit down to play this game" Its not me playing. The actual original content was something I didn't want to have that much control over, other than in the editing phase. It's because I wanted something close to a genuine reaction and then I wanted to see how I could work round that. Yeh your right, it doesn't have the best start (visual wise). I would like to know what about the humor was poor though? Like, obviously this is something entirely subjective, but Id like to know what you personally didn't like about it. -and the commentary isnt done in post, it was live as my friend played.

My mistake, the thread title is misleading and I don't tend to read walls of text thoroughly in the Video section. I shouldn't have even made a post, excuse me.

[QUOTE=Naelstrom;44001665]My mistake, the thread title is misleading and I don't tend to read walls of text thoroughly in the Video section. I shouldn't have even made a post, excuse me.[/QUOTE] No, its cool, I mean at least someone did, The stuff about cinematography seems interesting. Just hope I can get a few more crits so I can improve.