As usual I will be turning to Facepunch for some feedback. I recently created a fairly rushed Christmas video and I'd love to know what you guys think of it. Most of you have probably seen a bunch of SFM already
It was created over the span of 4 days. It's not perfect but I really wanted it done in time, so it will have som flaws. Like some parts going to fast and so on
Anyway I would love some feedback. Even if you think it is bad! Just tell me why it is so I can improve
Thanks!
[video=youtube;XZfSVlqq1Hc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZfSVlqq1Hc[/video]
I mean it's alright, animation's ok, a bit janky in places but otherwise pretty good. Since this is constructive criticism and not just outright flaming, I'll try to be tactful: I don't get it. I mean, the plot's pretty simple (it's christmas, guy goes to the store, comes back, then some stuff happens with your friend(?) and that's about it), but even still it's a little hard to follow, which brings me to my main gripe with this: You really shoved it full of popular memes and trends, didn't you? Not that there's anything particularly wrong with it, but, it seems to me like they're there just to be there and spout their particular memes (bad time, skeleton pun, don't fuck with this senator, etc) and not actually add too much to your plot or story. These kinds of things can be fine in small doses in order to add a bit of comedy (I had a good chuckle at the raiden baby), but in larger doses like this it can really degrade the overall quality of your work due to it becoming a meme-ridden monstrosity. If it's comedy, you have to remember that delivery is everything, and that you have to have a good buildup to a punchline. The burrito-launching joke was good, but then at the very end it felt a bit sullied with the seemingly random addition of flowey.
Anyways I guess my point is you may want to reel back on the memes and popular references, it seems to be taking more away from your work than it is giving.
[QUOTE=xxfalconxx;49382664]I mean it's alright, animation's ok, a bit janky in places but otherwise pretty good. Since this is constructive criticism and not just outright flaming, I'll try to be tactful: I don't get it. I mean, the plot's pretty simple (it's christmas, guy goes to the store, comes back, then some stuff happens with your friend(?) and that's about it), but even still it's a little hard to follow, which brings me to my main gripe with this: You really shoved it full of popular memes and trends, didn't you? Not that there's anything particularly wrong with it, but, it seems to me like they're there just to be there and spout their particular memes (bad time, skeleton pun, don't fuck with this senator, etc) and not actually add too much to your plot or story. These kinds of things can be fine in small doses in order to add a bit of comedy (I had a good chuckle at the raiden baby), but in larger doses like this it can really degrade the overall quality of your work due to it becoming a meme-ridden monstrosity. If it's comedy, you have to remember that delivery is everything, and that you have to have a good buildup to a punchline. The burrito-launching joke was good, but then at the very end it felt a bit sullied with the seemingly random addition of flowey.
Anyways I guess my point is you may want to reel back on the memes and popular references, it seems to be taking more away from your work than it is giving.[/QUOTE]
Any meme is not because of how popular they are. It's because of what me and my friends were talking about and so on. I recently finished MGR which is why I used that one with Armstrong. Undertale is because me and my friend recently finished aswell. I didn't really have that much time to develop a proper script which is why it lacks it places. As I mentioned I did want to create something and get something finished. It would have looked a lot different if I had more time. But it's something I enjoyed creating and it might be something that will connect better with my friends than my viewers to be honest. Which is why I asked for some feedback. This was purely done for my own enjoyment and a test of my animating since I animated last. But I am glad I got some good feedback atleast!
Thank you! I will think more about it if I ever create something that I will have more time with!
The animation is incredibly floaty. All of the movement is lacking weight excluding the segments created via loading sequences. The camera work is shoddy. Shots were generally non-dynamic and poorly framed. [URL="https://youtu.be/CDZpZTzn-VY"]This[/URL] may help in the future. In that same vein, [URL="http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=567371502"]this[/URL] may also help.
[QUOTE=maxkhson;49382715]I didn't really have that much time to develop a proper script which is why it lacks it places. As I mentioned I did want to create something and get something finished. It would have looked a lot different if I had more time. [/QUOTE]
This isn't really an appropriate response to constructive criticism. If you ask for feedback, take it. It's not healthy to create excuses for yourself - especially considering the [I]story [/I]is incredibly lacking. You just padded the entire video with references to distract from the lazy construction, and it is very apparent.
[QUOTE=doctordarken;49383024]The animation is incredibly floaty.[/QUOTE]
The rest of your critique is fine but this right here is the most unhelpful thing you could ever tell an animator, just fyi.
[QUOTE=doctordarken;49383024]The animation is incredibly floaty. All of the movement is lacking weight excluding the segments created via loading sequences. The camera work is shoddy. Shots were generally non-dynamic and poorly framed. [URL="https://youtu.be/CDZpZTzn-VY"]This[/URL] may help in the future. In that same vein, [URL="http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=567371502"]this[/URL] may also help.
This isn't really an appropriate response to constructive criticism. If you ask for feedback, take it. It's not healthy to create excuses for yourself - especially considering the [I]story [/I]is incredibly lacking. You just padded the entire video with references to distract from the lazy construction, and it is very apparent.[/QUOTE]
The only excuse I have for the lighting is that I was lazy/tired. It was literally the last thing I added and I only picked the nearest lightsource and "amplified" it. I know the concept of advanced lighting, like you can see on my deviantArt ([url]http://gladiusgaming.deviantart.com/[/url]). I mostly do pictures and almost everything I know in SFM is self-learnt. But that video will probably help me a bunch. I do this more as a hobby, but I guess I should watch more videos!
And my response was just the truth, I'm not denying anything. Haha, And the references were not a distraction... It's just my poor creativity. Me and my friend were up late several days just adding on the script but we couldn't come up with much in that little time so we mostly went "Oh what if we do this" and then it sounds super good, but on movie it's a bit different. And then I'm two days from the deadline and I have to animate what I have. You know?
But yeah, I'll watch more videos and I'll take what you said and try and improve! Thank you for your honest feedback. It's actually very motivating!
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
