Cinemark: Weekly movie reviews from Netflix to bargain bins and beyond. - General

Hey everyone, I've started a blog where, every Thursday at noon, I upload a review of a movie. I want to be a film critic someday, so I figured this would be good practice. I've got a bunch of DVDs from bargain bins and countless random flicks clogging up my Netflix queue, so I dip into them each week and then type up what I think. Also, I've decided to make it a habit to review something utterly absurd for the last Thursday of each month. Not something laughably bad like Batman and Robin, but something totally baffling that would never be seen outside of SyFy Channel or an ill-fated trip to the Redbox with Grandma. Give it a look, won't you? Everything can be found at [url]www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com[/url]. [b][u]REVIEWS:[/u][/b] The Babadook: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-babadook.html[/url] Attack the Block: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-attack-block.html[/url] It's Such a Beautiful Day: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-its-such-beautiful-day.html[/url] Killer Mountain: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-killer-mountain.html[/url] Any criticism would be much appreciated!

So this is like the least populated thread on FP right now. But I'mma post my new review anyways, because why not? This week, I watched Super, a pitch-black superhero indie comedy from James Gunn: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/02/review-super.html[/url]

For anyone who cares to read it, I reviewed Armour of God this week. This film is notable for literally almost murdering the shit out of Jackie Chan. Like for real, he almost totally died while making this and footage of the accident is played during the blooper reel. [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/02/review-armour-of-god.html[/url]

I read the killer mountain one, I liked it, it was witty. Keep it up. Try posting in the movie discussion threads. I feel these not being actual videos will mean they won't get a lot of traction. (You could get a decent mic and some editing software and just voice over parts of the movie with what you've written already)

the color scheme of your site is eye rape. You write well though.

Great reviews. You should review Rubber next. It's on Netflix and it's a movie about a rubber tyre murdering people.

Thanks so much for the feedback, you guys. Seriously, any and all criticism is a big help. [editline]16th February 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Cpt.Funkymonk;47149921]I read the killer mountain one, I liked it, it was witty. Keep it up. Try posting in the movie discussion threads. I feel these not being actual videos will mean they won't get a lot of traction. (You could get a decent mic and some editing software and just voice over parts of the movie with what you've written already)[/QUOTE] Didn't the Movie Discussion subforum get deleted during the restructuring? Or is there just a general "Movies Discussion" thread now?

[QUOTE=BanthaFodder;47152435] Didn't the Movie Discussion subforum get deleted during the restructuring? Or is there just a general "Movies Discussion" thread now?[/QUOTE] You are right I totally forgot they removed it, which sucks.

of all the forums that got deleted, movie and television discussion was the only one that shouldn't have

[QUOTE=HybridTheroy;47154936]of all the forums that got deleted, movie and television discussion was the only one that shouldn't have[/QUOTE] I agree that it shouldn't have gotten removed, but other ones like the music corner and artsy ones were really chill. Auto one had a nice community too.

So this week I checked out Dredd, a movie where Bones McCoy frowns a lot and hunts Circe Lannister in a big busted-ass future slum: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/02/review-dredd.html[/url]

This one hurt. This one really, really hurt. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Heavenly Sword: The Official Movie of the Game: Presented by Sony Computer Entertainment. [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/02/review-heavenly-sword.html[/url]

This week I reviewed The Interview. Considering how quickly this ended up on Netflix, I'd have been a little peeved if I bought it when it was first released, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it: [url]http://whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/03/review-interview.html[/url]

So last weekend, I caught a showing of Kingsman: The Secret Service with a few friends: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/03/review-kingsman-secret-service.html[/url] It was pretty slick.

This week I decided to watch Housebound, a movie I've never heard of before. Basically, it's a horror/comedy from New Zealand about this girl who is placed under house arrest in her childhood home with her podunk parents, but the house is apparently haunted as fuck. It's actually pretty good: [url]http://whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/03/review-housebound.html[/url] Also, if you guys could share this around on Facebook or other social media, that'd be killer. Like, it's by no means necessary, but man would it be appreciated.

To the surprise of no one, Furry Vengeance starring Brendan Fraser is the worst shit to ever exist: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/03/review-furry-vengeance.html[/url]

You write well. I wish I had read this thread before, I probably would have seen "It's Such a Beautiful Day" sooner.

New Review this week, in which I highly recommend everyone go watch Treasure Planet: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/04/review-treasure-planet.html[/url] Seriously, it's some of the most gorgeous animation porn you'll ever see.

The webpage is really ugly..

I've been considering giving it a visual facelift for a while now. If anyone's got any suggestions for color schemes or anything like that, I'd really appreciate it. Graphic design isn't exactly something I'm really well versed in.

How about moving to YouTube? Might be more fun and easier for you.

No review this past Thursday, instead I spent all yesterday watching Marvel's Daredevil on Netflix. My spoiler-free thoughts on the whole thing: [url]http://whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/04/review-marvels-daredevil.html[/url]

Figured it was fitting that I revisit the Director's Cut of the original Daredevil starring Ben Affleck. I miss Michael Clarke Duncan: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/04/review-daredevil-2004-directors-cut.html[/url]

Continuing the month of Marvel, I watched the Thomas Jane Punisher movie: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/04/review-punisher.html[/url] In which the Punisher beats up Kevin Nash and interrogates a man with a popsickle.

April sort of became the Month of Marvel, so I couldn't think of a better way to close things out than by watching the unreleased, Roger Corman-directed Fantastic Four movie from 1994: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/04/review-roger-cormans-fantastic-four.html[/url] The best performance in the movie is brought to us by Doctor Doom's hands.

Having seen Avengers: Age of Ultron twice already, of course I wrote a review: [url]http://whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/05/review-avengers-age-of-ultron.html[/url]

This week I watched Knights of Badassdom, a horror/comedy about some buddies on a LARP who accidentally summon a murderous succubus. Its most notable feature is that it's got Peter Dinklage and that's about it: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/05/review-knights-of-badassdom.html[/url]

So this week I checked out The World's End, the grand finale of the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy from Edgar Wright and pals. [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/05/review-worlds-end.html[/url] I think it's the weakest of the three, but that's kinda like saying that a million dollars isn't as much as two or three million dollars.

I saw Mad Max: Fury Road last night: [url]http://www.whiteguywithnetflix.blogspot.com/2015/05/review-mad-max-fury-road.html[/url] It's easily one of the most technically and visually impressive THINGS I've ever seen.

Keep it up, man. I love your writing style! You should get paid for this stuff. (: