• Depression and Video Games | Sidcourse
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[video=youtube;pIvcys_IPcQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIvcys_IPcQ[/video]
Really nice video, what his friend said about dark souls really resonated with me.
Just gotta say, the shared experiences part of this video really spoke to me. I've met some great people through video games, and the time we spent together on them were some of the best moments during the times when I was really isolated.
That ending line was amazing, I'll remember that for a long time.
At first when he was talking about everyone's 'sad game' I was thinking about what that would be for me, never thought that I had one, but then it hit me, I played through Rez a lot, over and over again, even though the full game is only 1hr & 30mins long I remembered that I played that game when my ex left me for another guy, I played it to remember my brother after he died, I play that game whenever I'm feeling down, and I never get tired of it. The way it stimulates my senses, the way the story is never explained up front, the simplicity of the main character's design, all of it, it's really a game that after playing it makes me feel better overall.
Holy shit I need to play Spec Ops the Line, I've been putting it off for far too long.
The shared experiences part really was extremely relatable to me. The people who understand me the best and are the closest to me are my friends that play video games with me.
"If there is an obstacle in front of you, you are going in the right direction." Great ending. I was always someone who would stray from challenge in life because of my anxieties of failure and letting people I care about down. I would avoid entire tasks and life goals just because it seems hard or has a possibility of making me look bad. But it games I face the challenge head on, I view it differently. When a game sets up an obstacle, I look at it with the attitude "oh yeah, you think I can't do this developers, well watch this!" and I try my hardest to overcome said challenge. It wasn't until very recently in my life where I had a few opportunities to say to myself that phrase, and I actually went for a risk instead of letting it pass me by. By saying yes to the life challenge and obtaining my small victory, it showed me that I had the motivation and potential in me, I just needed to 'just do it' with the same attitude I use in gaming. Games helped me realize that connection, and I am a lot happier now than I have been since I was a kid.
[QUOTE=ThePanther;52429201]Holy shit I need to play Spec Ops the Line, I've been putting it off for far too long.[/QUOTE] People way overhype the story/tragedy aspect
This video really does speak the truth about many things in which I myself experienced. As I grew up I lamented over every mistake I've done, or the stupid things that I've said to people, even things that weren't necessarily bad. As I made more and more mistakes I started to judge myself. I judged myself even more harshly for my past mistakes which inturn has turned me into a pessimistic, boring asshole with a bleak outlook on life that has anxiety issues. I used video games for mainly 2 things; to simply enjoy the difficulties a game would present me, and to immerse myself into a world I could never experience in real life. As someone who's never traveled outside my home state and has only visited four cities within, even to this day, video games were the best thing I could spend my time on. I loved the stories, the characters, and how the world would react to my decisions. Video games were really just a part of my lifestyle. Every time I was sad, depressed, or going through anxiety issues, my parents would just tell me things along the lines of "get over it, we've been through worse, you have no reason to be sad". And that's what I did. I bottled up my feelings. I never really show emotion to people. I'm the most boring person I know and I have no idea how to fix it. My parents got so mad at me from being an emotionless husk that they've simply told me to just fake my smile whenever they take a photo of me. This is where I wrote a essay in my junior year in highschool where I explained the concept of life, and how miserable it can be. I've had PLENTY of suicidal thoughts going through school, but I always had two thoughts in the back of my head that prevented me from actually attempting any sort of self harm. For one, I would never put that sort of emotional burden on my family or friends, no matter what. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving all my problems behind at the expense of my family's well being. It is THE MOST selfish thing I could never do. The second thing would be my own personal fears. The thought of not existing scares me more than anything. All my thoughts, memories, personality, ideals, just gone. I really want to make my mark on this planet before I die. I don't just want to take the short route and quit, forever leaving behind any sort of small potential I had. My best friend had similar issues as mine, except his were amped up to 10. College drop out with no job dealing with even worse family issues. He would use video games as a form of escapism only. He would go to me, the shudden kid with hidden emotional issues for advice on life consistently. Just recently, I recommended him Night in the Woods, a game that really inspired me about how to handle all the issues life can bring. When he beat it, he came to my house in tears. He related with the characters so much that he reevaluated his entire life. Within a week, he found his purpose in life. He signed up for college again. It was probably the best thing I have ever seen a video game do to a person first hand. It didn't fix all of his problems of course, but it gave him the motivation he desperately needed. I just turned 19. I just graduated highschool. I want to make video games for others to enjoy. I want people to feel the same feeling I felt when I play a game that connected with me. My biggest joys in life was when someone enjoyed the work I made. I want to go to college and continue what I love to do, but there are so many inconveniences in life that are preventing me. I don't want to be a failure. I have a lot of ideas I want to see come to reality, stories to tell, things to see and do. I just don't know if I can do it. Maybe I am just some whiny little shit who has no idea what they're saying. Maybe I am just too young to understand how things work. I don't know. I do know that I'm scared.
[QUOTE=NoobSauce;52430037] Maybe I am just some whiny little shit who has no idea what they're saying. Maybe I am just too young to understand how things work. I don't know. I do know that I'm scared.[/QUOTE] Don't say that about yourself, you're not being whiny, I'm 20 and I just barely decided to go full circle on what I want to do. Life's full of experiences, good and bad, we're all capable of doing great things and having a goal of making your mark on the world is very noble and a good motivator to keep going when things get rough, art is probably one of the best ways we can relate with people, keep following your dreams, make the game you want to make, and remember, if things get tough, or dark, if you feel like you're falling in an abyss that you can't get out of, there are people who'll extend their arm in that hole to grab you out of it. If there isn't anybody close to you there's always communities like FP, there's the depression megathread, and if you want a private ear to vent to I'm always open for a PM. It's ok to be scared, we all are at this age, but fear is only what you make of it, it's the mindkiller, it's the little voice that says you can't do it, you need to take that voice, that feeling, and tell it to go fuck off.
[QUOTE=NoobSauce;52430037] I just turned 19. I just graduated highschool. I want to make video games for others to enjoy. I want people to feel the same feeling I felt when I play a game that connected with me. My biggest joys in life was when someone enjoyed the work I made. I want to go to college and continue what I love to do, but there are so many inconveniences in life that are preventing me. I don't want to be a failure. I have a lot of ideas I want to see come to reality, stories to tell, things to see and do. I just don't know if I can do it.[/QUOTE] I didn't drop out of education but I might as well have, drive is far more important, and you sound inspired at an age many are clueless or careless. I think that's what stops people being a failure.
[t]http://i.imgur.com/9FvYv08.png[/t] god would this pseudo-guru just fuck off
I've got a friend I play TF2 with, and have done so for at least four years. He was at a pretty low point when we met, and I, unknowingly, was on the same track as well. He's the only person I know I can call at any point and know I'll have a good time. When we met, he was already good at TF2 and he did his best getting me up to speed on it. I'm good enough now to play it casually and win consistently, however I only play it when he does. He still does it solo sometimes but I know that a majority of the time we've spent playing it over the last few years was with each other. We use the time to fuck around, to get our minds off shit, talk about random shit going on, or whatever else is interesting. We've helped each other through some deep shit in our lives, and I can guarantee that both of our lives would be incredibly different had we not met. I don't think either of us would change a thing. This video nails the effect that games can have on a person's inner psychology; more often than not, it's the perfect escape to deal with a situation or to simply just space out.
[QUOTE=Viper_;52429969]People way overhype the story/tragedy aspect[/QUOTE] There was no hype before or after the release of the game. It earned that shit.
This really did strike a chord with me. To give a frame of reference, I was diagnosed with borderline depression a few years back. This after finally deciding to seek help after feeling depressed for what must have been years beforehand, but always telling myself "no, you'll get past this yourself, you don't need help." Times have definitely been hard, but the one thing that has kept me sane and gave me the will to keep going is playing video games with my friends. Whether it's a group of us in a multiplayer game, or just one friend and I playing fighting games, it's helped me cope a fuckton. I'm sharing my experiences of joy, frustration and relief with people who are experiencing the same events I am. It's something to bond over, and it's created many fond memories in the recent years of my life that I'll probably continue to reminisce over for years to come. These friends I've met online, I really don't have any friends offline. I'm normally not a social person (being a sort of punching bag in school didn't help), and I only ever get out of the house for my job. I know that these factors aren't really helping my case, but at the same time, I at least know that I have people I can talk to about practically anything. I've known these guys for just short of a decade, and the discussions we have span a wide gamut. Whether it's joking around, or even discussing things like depression. And if it wasn't for me being a shitty micspammer in TF2, I would've never have met them. Video games in general have always been something special for me. They brought me immense joy as a kid, had me dreaming of things as a teen, and are now helping me to cope with depression as a 25 year old adult trying to find his footing in life. Like the end of the video alludes to, a lot of them present me with a challenge that I know I can overcome with enough perseverance (even if some of them are insanely difficult). In this sense, it's actually helped to give me the confidence to slowly tackle issues in real life. Things are slowly getting better. My self esteem has basically risen to "kinda confident" from "always doubting myself", and thoughts of suicide are becoming fewer and fewer in number. I really think that if I didn't have the friends I met through playing games online, I probably wouldn't be here right now. My desire to live is pretty much my same desire to spend time with them. To share the same experiences together, whether its hardships or success. And even some solo experiences with games have helped to push me to live on. The most notable for me recently being the pacifist run in Undertale (yes, I know). It sounds sappy as fuck, but never have I had a game feel like it was reaching out to me, telling me through its characters, that it cared about me and loved me. I was in a massive funk before playing Undertale, and that game snapped me out of it and was a catalyst for me to start trying to actively improve my life in some way. My life would not have been the same without video games, for better or worse, and I thank all the talented and skilled developers of all the video games I've played for contributing to some of the most memorable experiences of my life, and for helping me cope with the worst ones.
The closing statement was cute, but I personally never really got much out of metaphors likening videogame difficulty to real life difficulties. Even hard games are designed to be won by the player. The AI will generously telegraph attacks, only X enemies will shoot at you at a time, level design subtly guides your eye so you feel like a genius when you spot something, the mandatory helicopter battle takes place near infinitely spawning enemies that drop RPG ammo. Next to that, imagine going into a game that you know wasn't playtested, is randomly generated, and allows you to lock yourself out of progression if you abandon quest NPC or don't trigger certain secret events/flags. For example, a chest's key may spawn on a mountain top you need to climb with equipment locked inside that very chest. On top of that, sometimes you [i]do[/i] need to let go of something or give up on someone in order to progress. If people struggled with something in that game, I think they'd be much more willing to GG out. Not just because they're tired of being frustrated like in all the other games before it. But because they may just be genuinely wasting their time and effort. "Why Bother?", as the video puts it.
Oh wow.. Must've fallen deeper in that abyss than I thought. Very nice video althought it just makes me wake up for couple days only to start ignoring everything again soon or later beceuse thats easiest thing to do. Just fuck. I honesntly can't tell if im really stuck now or if there still is a way out of this. I dont know it doesn't matter, yet I want it to matter like I do now but it wont?.. I dont even want help so this comment is pointless maybe I just saw opertunity to say shit. Well thats it for me here im 23 and its been 6 years like this. Dont bother reacting I dont really care much.
I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through high school if it wasn't for Dark Souls. Every day I would walk home from school tired emotionally and physically and just spend the rest of my day dicking around in Dark Souls. I don't know, I guess it gave me a way to personify my depression. You play as a forlorn adventurer doomed to follow a journey alone through a twisted, painful, and unforgiving world. And despite all odds and countless failures, you will still always manage to reach your goal, as long as you put in the time, patience, and acceptance of failure. Also girls didn't like me.
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;52430763]The closing statement was cute, but I personally never really got much out of metaphors likening videogame difficulty to real life difficulties.[/QUOTE] I think you're completely missing the point
I feel like shutting myself in my room for the past 10 years playing games or just using the laptop has impaired me a lot while growing up, i'm 21 in a week and I feel like I've done nothing at all with my life but it seems no matter what i'll never stop. Not talking to anyone either or doing much has made me really empty headed too so I can't even begin to talk to people I don't know. I'm just scared that I've broke myself so young through being so introverted.
I remember being in a real depressive bout and just playing FTL all day. I think it's the same kind of feeling people describe playing Dark Souls. It's neigh impossible to win with each run and it really fucks you up but for some I reason I preserved in the game. I guess it gave me some hope in the real world. That no matter what, you need to keep trying and try to get better.
[QUOTE=Viper_;52429969]People way overhype the story/tragedy aspect[/QUOTE] The problem is that the point of the Spec Ops [I]is[/I] the twist tragedy. It's marketed as a generic shooter only to slap the player with -spoilers-, but when that's all people talk about, it loses the punch that it should have had. But that was the only way the game sold copies though, because people were hyping up the tragedy of this otherwise unremarkable game and word of mouth spread it. I would have never played the game had people not gone "BUT DUDE THAT [SP]WHITE PHOSPHOROUS[/SP] SCENE" but its the very reason I decided to play the game that I ended up underwhelmed by it. It's an unfortunate catch 22.
[QUOTE=Yogkog;52433850]The problem is that the point of the Spec Ops [I]is[/I] the twist tragedy. It's marketed as a generic shooter only to slap the player with -spoilers-, but when that's all people talk about, it loses the punch that it should have had. But that was the only way the game sold copies though, because people were hyping up the tragedy of this otherwise unremarkable game and word of mouth spread it. I would have never played the game had people not gone "BUT DUDE THAT [SP]WHITE PHOSPHOROUS[/SP] SCENE" but its the very reason I decided to play the game that I ended up underwhelmed by it. It's an unfortunate catch 22.[/QUOTE] It works really well when you don't have any expectations and haven't had the story spoiled.
[QUOTE=Marik Bentusi;52430763]The closing statement was cute, but I personally never really got much out of metaphors likening videogame difficulty to real life difficulties. Even hard games are designed to be won by the player. The AI will generously telegraph attacks, only X enemies will shoot at you at a time, level design subtly guides your eye so you feel like a genius when you spot something, the mandatory helicopter battle takes place near infinitely spawning enemies that drop RPG ammo. Next to that, imagine going into a game that you know wasn't playtested, is randomly generated, and allows you to lock yourself out of progression if you abandon quest NPC or don't trigger certain secret events/flags. For example, a chest's key may spawn on a mountain top you need to climb with equipment locked inside that very chest. On top of that, sometimes you [I]do[/I] need to let go of something or give up on someone in order to progress. If people struggled with something in that game, I think they'd be much more willing to GG out. Not just because they're tired of being frustrated like in all the other games before it. But because they may just be genuinely wasting their time and effort. "Why Bother?", as the video puts it.[/QUOTE] I can relate to the video a great deal, especially further in the past. A great deal of the games I play and have played are difficult in similar ways: "Even hard games are designed to be won by the player. The AI will generously telegraph attacks, only X enemies will shoot at you at a time, level design subtly guides your eye so you feel like a genius when you spot something, the mandatory helicopter battle takes place near infinitely spawning enemies that drop RPG ammo." - This isn't present in any of them I like Ironman in SP games - no quck-save/load scumming til the situation ends in your survival, let alone favour - just one chance in each situation with what resources I happen to have, the consumption of which affects later ones. It does lead to making hard decisions, sometimes that can be to run away, avoid or retreat from a fight you'd otherwise be able to die in 20x over - and above all else, teaches you to accept failures of all degrees and learn from them, rather than artificially insulating one's self from the consequence. I refer to Jagged Alliance, XCOM, STALKER CoC, Starsector, Xenonauts, even games that aren't meant to be ironman'd like System Shock 2 and Deus Ex are on a whole new level approached in this way. In the MP games I play, there's no other option - you fuck up and the opponent will take advantage. ArmA's my favourite game cause even in co-op, on an individual basis, death for the rest of each mission is never more than a single decision away - even if it's the "right" one, even if it was someone else's.
I remember extra credits did a video about video games and depression and all I remember it made me more upset and depressed (Idk something about "video games doesn't reeealllyyyyy help with depression and it actually makes you more sad"). I wish this video was here to give me little bit of hope than those weird "were running out of internet you guys" people back then
I agree with most of his points but I also have to say; eventually really pushing yourself to go outside, put yourself into situations where you're going to meet new people and have experiences in the real world alongside what you experience online is really one of the best ways to combat down moods. I mean there is plenty of stuff you can learn from the people you meet online from their own unique lives and experiences; relationship advice, fitness and health, job opportunities, what it's like to live in another country. or just share a good laugh together. And I mean you can definitely implement what you learn from them into your own decisions. But I do have to say and this is going off on a bit of a tangent here; I remember when I was maybe 11 or 12 me and my mates were riding an old wheely office chair we found in a skip (big bin) outside a construction site near my house. and when it came to my turn as I hit the bottom of the hill the chair completely fell apart and I sprained my ankle; I couldn't walk home so my mates carried me all the way up the hill and down the street to my house. Now I've never been great at articulating myself super well but basically what I'm getting at is; You can love the people you've met online I know I truly love all the close friends I've met in my years being apart of different internet and game communities. But at the end of the day in that situation they wouldn't of been able to carry me up that hill. You can't always stay detached from the outside world, glued to a screen. Even if it does help in the short-term. You need to find those people that can and will carry you home when you get fucked up you know.
I really like this video. Being the extreme shy type it was hard going through high school and made the idea of going to college daunting. I was rarely invited to things unless it was a "whole group" kind of thing (I was apart of the drama club, it became kinda a second family thing after a while.) So most of the time my only fall back was video games or going on forms like facepunch and (more recently) reddit. Now I'm in the last year-ish of college I've made at least one close friend but now that he's found a SO, I (understandably) see him less often. I'm pretty lonely and still fall into depression every now and then but things are a little better at least. I'm sure I've found my passion, idk if I can make a career out of it but it's worth a shot I guess.
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