How to make the most of your time left with a terminally ill parent - General

Hello Facepunch, Today, I was made aware that my dad’s cancer has been diagnosed as terminal, with the doctors giving him only two weeks left to live. This has been so sudden; the initial discovery of the cancer was only a few weeks ago, but my dad tends to keep quiet about these things. I aim to be there with him along the way, visiting him as often as I can, but I want Facepunch to help if they can. if anyone here has ever been in a similar situation, what have you done that you would recommend others also do? Or are there things that you would have done differently? I already spent 5 hours with him in hospital today, saying things that needed to be said. Talking about his life, my future, all kinds of things really. I can’t really think straight at the moment. But I don’t want to have him pass away and me end up regretting not doing something. I’m not asking for sympathy, I’m asking for advice on how I can make the most of our time that’s left. Thank you Facepunch

I've been in a similar situation (father figure w/ brain cancer) My only regret was not spending enough time. I recommend you free up your time, and stay with him for as much as possible every day. I don't know what his health currently is, but if possible you could do things like watching movies or whatever? I don't know. Just try to spend as much time together as possible, it's really the best course of action.

Also from similar situations, try and get things like his will sorted out. I suffered a loss of a parent who had no will and we really struggled with paperwork for the coming years. But yeah, as @Paul-Simon said, try and spend as much time with them, and make good memories with them if possible, as you'll look back on them in the future

I will be visiting him tomorrow for sure even if it is to watch TV together. Another thing is that I am actually graduating from university in two weeks, and my dad was originally going to attend my graduation. He always wanted me and my brother to go to university ever since we were little kids. But now of course, he will be too ill to attend, if he even makes it the two weeks. So I have already contacted the university, begging them to fast track my graduation so that I can get my physical degree and my academic dress in my hands as soon as possible, so I can bring the graduation to him in hospital. I want him to see that I went the distance, and to get a graduation photo with him.

I hate to say same thing,but like other user said: spend more time with your father. Chat,talk about his childhood,play some games with him,pray together (if you are religious),etc Purge away your bad memory of him,let the good ones settles inside. My father passed out because of stroke,most likely because he is a pretty hefty smoker. Im going to miss the day where we played ps2 together.

I went through the exact same thing 3 weeks ago when my mom passed away from cancer. Looking back now, I seriously wish I had asked her daily what her thoughts were and what she was thinking about before she wouldn't respond to anything anymore. I also feel like shit for not being with her until her last breath, I arrived 30 minutes too late to the hospice not even knowing she was gone. There's not much else you can do but visit your dad as much as possible you can, maybe even spend the night at the hospital. Talk about everything you possibly can, leave no stone unturned and tell your dad you love him before it's too late. It will feel a bit easier afterwards knowing you did/asked/talked about everything you could rather than not doing so. Feel free to PM me if you want about something, your situation sounds very similar to what I went through.

If it puts your own heart at ease, please know that while you might not have done those things with your own mother, you at least made a difference with another person and his father. Thank you

Hello Facepunch, my my father passed away in his sleep this morning at 7:15. He was surrounded by his family, and we had the chance to say goodbye. I want to thank Facepunch because although this is obviously an emotional time, I have no regrets with how he was farewelled. In an earlier post, I mentioned how my university graduation was scheduled for the 13th and that my dad wouldn't be able to make it until then, so I begged the university if I could retrieve my degrees and dress early, so I could have a private graduation in hospital. And we did. He was so proud. And so we made one last happy memory before he passed away a few hours later. https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/226043/448d66de-e94c-4d10-ae82-de83f9164891/IMG_1025.JPG

im incredibly sorry to hear this you and your family are in my prayers my dude

Really sorry to hear that. At least you were with him when it happened.

that's awesome that he got to see you graduate. looks like he was really glad to be spending those last moments with you

Really sorry to hear that. At least his final wish has been fulfilled. May his soul rest in peace.

This is really touching, my condolences to you and your entire family. Actually, I think this was a great way to spent time together and being able to graduate was probably a great moment for him as well.

I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Glad you could end it on such a positive note. May he rest in peace.

I'm glad you used what little time was left meaningfully. Good luck to you and your family.