Please be blunt with me, I'm looking to improve.
https://m.soundcloud.com/campflint/fuck-school
Theres a lot of pointless uses of 'fuck' or variations on it, sort of takes the impact out of the lyrics. I feel like you should be able to find some better descriptive language than just 'fuck this fuck that'.
Eleven counts of fuck or variations on it (excluding the last line for obvious reasons) just seems a bit much in a one and a half minute song, it just screams un-creative to me.
Few general critiques of some of the lyrics:
"Not even my decision why the fuck I gotta do this when I hop out the window and scream screw this"
The line falls flat at "when", it just seems like an odd choice of word which really interrupts the flow. Theres really no reason for "when" to be there since the life works fine without it.
"No comprehendo nigger just not a smart guy English is my speciality but I don't speak Spanish and the kid that sits behind me is a little bit outlandish"
This line is probably the best in the whole song, theres good word play, most of all its just really funny. But the end feels really stilted, it goes from a solid line to one being propped up by a seemingly unrelated end with a boring and unrelated rhyme.
"Its fifth period somethings allwaysfuckingdo (?)"
The delivery at the end is muddy, like I really cant tell whats being said.
"Its sixth period I'm listening to Mozart only other black kids eating a fucking pope tart"
Delivery again, here it really sounds like pope when I'm assuming its supposed to be pop?
The line has a nice set up for some comparison, your studying classics and your peers are...eating food?...what?
Rather than comparing your interests to the trivial tasks of other people, compare your interests to other peoples interests, otherwise you just make yourself look like a high and mighty fool who rags on people for eating food.
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I like the style of delivery your going for but there are some moments where it gets really muffled or just drops out of the song completely.
The subject matter is also a bit bland, like dude, many people dislike school, but rather than list the things that personally you dislike about it, you've just made a list of stuff that happens, none of which seems like it should really be impacting your life. You could make a song about school being dull and how its impact is meaningless to you, but I'd advise you to actually express why and how that dullness impacts your life.
More interestingly though, you could look at the meaningless, dull attitude you have towards school and write about what it is about you and your perspective that makes you see schooling in this light.
Schooling is a pretty tried method of education, but its totally not for everyone, so as one of those people who it doesn't seem to work for, express why that is, in relation to how you view yourself and your goals.
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I'm not trying to be harsh, just honest. You clearly have the motivation to work at this, so I hope my crit has been useful.
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