Games Workshop announces Warhammer 40k book series for kids
81 replies, posted
https://www.pcgamer.com/warhammer-novels-for-children-ages-8-are-on-the-way/
https://warhammeradventures.com/
Ok.
But how?
https://warhammeradventures.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/11/2018/05/boy-reading-e1526896195812.jpg
My spirit animal.
"The universe is a giant place with many planets and creatures and everything wants to murder you in a slow agonizing way. Everyone you care about will suffer endlessly."
https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/716/38a96ad1-692e-45cf-8a37-68330ba06378/image.png
Oh man, I can't wait for the book that introduces Slaanesh.
Yeah, Twitter has been having a field day with this announcement and for good reason.
Uh.... Okay. This can only end well.
Gotta teach kids the dangers of heresy at some point
Really I think some of the satirical stuff in select 40k works can be really good for teenagers (13+) to read because it gives you a sort of like, reflective idea of bureaucratic and government systems in a fictional context without being daunting. When I read the Imperial
Guardsman's Uplifting Primer when I was younger, it gave me a good understanding of the papework snowstorm you end up running into in most lines of work, something that a lot of other satirical fiction didn't. Sounds tiny but I'm sure you get my logic.
Warhammer is already plenty kid friendly tho. I started playing with all my friends in like 4th grade.
now that im an adult and have money to spend I have no interest in playing again; mainly because they casualized the fuck out of fantasy and their prices are more absorbent than ever.
This is like the polar opposite of all those dark and serious adaptations of kids stuff.
Is it bad that I kinda want it to become a trend?
"Twelve year old Zelia is the daughter of galactic explorer Elise Lor."
"Sharing her mum's hatred of weaponry, Zelia believes the best way to overcome fear is to learn about the universe."
calling it now, the book ends with zelia sacrificing her friends to tzeentch in exchange for forbidden knowledge
Do you really think that there aren't a shitload of deserters and tithe-dodgers? As bad as the lesser writers of 40k lore want you to believe, the Imperium is not perfect.
i can't get over the fact that they're whitewashing a theocratic, xenocidal, dogmatic fascist state so that they can sell it to 8 year olds
space marines are religious zealots who live to kill in the name of an immortal psychic skeleton that eats people to survive, and they're treating them like they're the avengers or some shit
Yeah it really confuses me why this is the detail people are getting hung up on when the books and lore surrounding Dark Heresy, Necromunda, and Rogue Trader are all chock full of guard deserters.
the only way it can be redeemed is if they all get eaten by tyranids
Are you implying an IG officer would let his son desert?
It ain't easy to keep track of your kid when you're deployed to completely different subsectors.
Warhammer Babies
We make our dreams come true
Gotta prepare the young minds early. What happens when you get too close to the Warp and you're forced to look upon a geyser of blood, half a kilometer wide and a dozen high, rising like a gigantic tree, swirling with pustular flesh, sinew, muscle, ragged tissue and a million staring eyes that coat it like glistening foam? What do you get then? Catatonic kids whose coddled minds weren't ready, weren't fortified appropriately so they could best serve the Emperor.
Goddamn millennials with their coddled minds.
Not to mention the other (un)living entities out there either want to torture, subjugate, devour, exterminate or mindrape you - or perhaps do all of those things in no certain order.
I'm just trying to imagime a space marine or imperial commissar reading an inspiring picture book to a child, finishing with "AND THEY WERE ALL EXECUTED FOR THEIR HERESEY."
I lost interest in Warhammer (especially tabletop) in my early teens but I was in on it when I was around 9 or 10.
Shit fucking rocked, it's not too dark, I mean it's really dark, but it's not too dark.
Burning heretics since 1998.
The way GW's PR put it when they announced this: it's grimdark, but there's a night light on.
Back in the 90s that night light was neon.
words of true wisdom
quoth the Emperor:
Raunchy romantic comedy sitcom please
bazinga
Besides the throbbing erection?
That's basically how one of my friends introduced their kids to Warhammer: 40000 and they turned out mostly okay.
TBH I'm surprised this wasn't already a thing.
That said they should start making lots of coloring books to go with this.
So I guess it's time for Animorphs 2.0 huh
Honestly i would be interested in a 40k story from the perspective of a child or teenager. Though im afraid the way they're going with this isn't what i had in mind...
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