Granted, but now you can’t read any other book. Also you’re now sterile. Just wanted to throw a little extra in for you.
I wish I had a big tittied, plump goth gf
Your goth gf is terribly depressed and miserable. Nothing you can do will make her happy.
I wish I could go back in time 10 years and fix all the mistakes I made
Granted, but it causes you to be an even bigger failure than what your mistakes have lead you to now.
Those mistakes shaped who you are now and you've grown to be a better person by understanding and improving yourself as a result of them. By reversing those mistakes you've removed ten years of self improvement and thus have mentally regressed to become the same person who made those mistakes ten year ago, and are now doomed to make similar mistakes for the next ten years.
I wish newpunch's post editor didn't suck monkey dick
granted, but now it sucks donkey dick.
i wish i had a money tree.
granted, but now you have thousands of pre-teens on your forums moaning about why they are VAC banned
i wish we never memed loss into the mainstream
The Loss is dry now, but you trip and fall dropping your lantern and in turn setting it on fire. Only you are now saddled with the Loss.
I wish for a Spyglass
Granted, but one of your eyes is now more permanently zoomed than the other
I wish my childhood pets hadn't died
Granted, but they're immortal now and they will forever have their masters die before them.
I wish my room was bigger.
Granted.
Your room has the same amount of space, it's just bisected by a large chasm that you must cross on a tightrope (there are alligators at the bottom).
Also, your room is so big, you just don't know how to decorate it!!
I wish I could give myself kisses :-)
Granted, but each one ends up being a Hershey's Kiss.
I wish I could shapeshift on command.
You can only shapeshift into an ice-cube, leaving you to melt away and die moments later.
I wish I had no arms or legs.
Granted, but now you have invisible ghost arms/legs so you look like that one villain from Venture Bros.
I wish I had a stand.
You now have a stand, but the top is round, making it useless as a stand for anything.
I wish I knew how to people.
Granted, but your ever watchful demeanor creeps out so many people, that they refuse to make even eye contact with you.
I wish that class was canceled for today.
Some Truth in Reality : There actually is some real BAD rain and flooding going on in Texas, stay safe out there guys! :-(
Granted, but there's a thunderstorm and your power goes out.
I wish my friends' schedules matched mine.
Granted, but your friends all get different instructors for the same courses.
I wish for swimming lessons.
You ace these lessons and become the god of swimming... to the point of forgetting how to walk on the ground entirely.
All of a sudden, a man with an grossly elongated face pounces into the room. You swivel around in alarm as he begins screaming high frequency pitches. You make your way to the window in the hopes of making a brisk escape, but the creature snags your ankles and throws you to the ground. You shriek in alarm as he stands on top of you. Long, obsidian claws slowly emerge from his palms as he begins his ancient task. He furiously passes back and forth over your back, and you can feel the tense rupture in your flesh as skin and blood scatter about the room. Suddenly, your squelches of pain are replaced by the soft moans of catharsis. You lay there completely relaxed, despite catching the sight of the occasional muscle or invertebrate flying out of you. He hits all the hotspots, leaving nothing but warm, fuzzy feelings after he's done -- though that might be the adrenaline, at this point.
Moments before you bleed out, you make sure to leave the appropriate 4/5 rating on his Yelp page, citing low fees and excellent service as positives and the rather brief time you have to enjoy it as a negative.
I wish my head was put on backwards.
Granted, but the person who performed the operation can only work in a top down perspective. Thus having your face placed into your throat.
I wish for a canoe and paddles.
Granted, but so was your body. It kind of just evens out now...
I wish for a fishy wish, that of a wishy fish.
You get the fishy wish, but you trip and break your neck, leaving you paralyzed and unable to make said wish.
I wish I never had to use the bathroom.
Granted, You never have to use the bathroom again but your bladder and intestines continue to fill with waste that it becomes unbearably painful.
I wish for a nuclear winter.
Granted, but a counter-reaction results in anti-nuclear summer. Everything is gone.
I wish I had an ever-replenishing tube of Pringles, cheese flavored.
Granted but they're all stale as fuck.
I wish I see who rates my fucking posts again.
granted, but now you have to click the fucking number below the rating
i wish i could finally leave this comfy forum and do something with my life
Granted, now Garry has you working on the forums instead.
I wish for a cup of Hot Cocoa
Here's a cup of hot water and unmashed cocoa beans. Careful, that mug held someone's dentures at one point.
I want someone to describe how sex works... For a... friend...
Granted, but it's told in a 1 hour seminar.
I wish I could giveth the next user the big gay.
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