• I have a Theory: Drunken Self Defense
    4 replies, posted
I've developed a theory, and I call it "Drunken Self Defense". Essentially what it boils down to is that somebody who is drunk or high, no matter how utterly fucked up they are, they cannot be influenced by anybody who is sober to do potentially stupid or harmful things. The drunken person will often behave like they're totally sober for a moment and have full clarity in denying to do the stupid shit suggested. Meanwhile, if the sober person were to be drunk or high at the time, the original drunken person would often do the stupid shit suggested that he would previously deny. When I say high, I refer to high on weed. I haven't met enough people high on other shit to expand my theory to anything beyond alcohol and weed. See, what happens is I've noticed that when I'm sober, and somebody else is high or drunk, with multiple different people I've told them to do dumb shit like "drink your pee" or "do a cartwheel" or other absurd things. All of them have responded with an uncharacteristic "No!" almost like they're sober for that brief moment only, and go back to being under the influence. However, while piss drunk I've told other piss drunk people to do equally stupid shit, and they did it just going "hahaa yea dude" and then they nearly brain themselves on the curb trying to do a flip. I've been trying for years, and the only instance I can recall that I've seen that broke this theory was when I was sober and told a friend to vape a cheezit and he did and coughed for like 5 minutes. I'm not cool enough to go clubbing or have lots of sex and drugs at parties irl, and my pool of people who regularly get high/drunk has shrunk in recent years, as has my own regularity of getting smashed. If anybody else has anything to contribute to my theory of sober people being unable to influence someone who's high or drunk, please do. I'm also going to ask if anyone can contribute evidence, be it proving or disproving my theory. If possible, I also would like to ask for you to try to remember this theory and see if you can gather new and fresh evidence, be it by asking drunk friends to do dumb shit, or remembering if you did dumb shit when told to. Please do not suggest anything to drunks that may cause serious harm however, I don't want to be indirectly responsible for your friend's self-circumcision by butter-knife.
I want to propose an alternative, cuntery-based hypothesis: >No-one who is sober would tell a drunk person to drink their pee unless they are a cunt, so no drunk person would agree to it because they know they're a cunt. >A sober person who doesn't know the drunk person wouldn't ask them to drink their pee unless they are a massive cunt, in which case even a drunk person would be able to determine that they're a cunt. >A drunk person is able to convince another drunk person to drink their pee because they have obviously not been a cunt, seeing as the person drinking their pee wouldn't have gotten drunk with them if they were a cunt. prove me wrong
You just talked about people nearly "braining themselves out" on the curb trying to do a flip you asked them to do drunk. Or vaping a cheezit. Your theory is probably true, or at least a correlation can probably be made on that a drunk person telling another drunk person to do dumb shit is more likely to happen vs. a sober person telling a drunk person to do the same.
On the topic of being high, I would put as an addendum: A sober person should never talk about philosophy with someone heavily tripping. Had one bloke talk to be about how all things are interconnected just because we happened to encounter him at a Hesburger at the same time, and after 350 mikes that really threw my head in a spin.
I guess I should clarify that I've never tested my theory on anybody outside of my friends because I don't want to potentially cause problems for anybody I don't know and can't help if they did run off to piss in their mouth. I also wouldn't actually want anybody to drink their piss if I told them to, I'm more curious if they'd seriously consider it rather than actually have them do it. Now to address your points k I'll admit that I can be a bit of a prick sometimes but I've seen high people resist the influence of friends far far nicer and kinder than myself This one I'll say that this could be the case but I haven't and never would consider trying this shit on somebody I don't know cause thats a real dickbag move When I mentioned a friend almost brained himself on the curb that was a real story (if exaggerated). I was drunk as shit and was trying to do combat rolls all night and eventually told a friend who was as drunk as me to do a flip. He was fine thankfully but I think that this establishes that I wasn't a cunt in your scenario or proposition because I was drunk, he was drunk, we were drunk, and I got him to do something stupid. Same year I was sober and he was drunk, and I suggested a cartwheel probably idr and he denied, but its been previously established that I'm not a cunt in his eyes. But yea I wanna clear up dont fuckin try to get some random drunk guy to do an ollie thats not exactly a nice thing to do
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.