Rumor: JJ is a hack, Star Wars Episode IX to bring back iconic Star Wars Villian - Sensationalist Headlines

https://superbromovies.com/2018/11/05/rumor-matt-smith-to-play-young-palpatine-in-star-wars-episode-ix/ I am fucking done with Star Wars if this is true. I was already done with it after IX, but I'm not even going to see this shit if it's this creatively bankrupt.

Good now my Doctor Who x Star Wars fic will be canon.

Not like the EU didn't have a dozen or two Palatine clones, I just hope he isn't killed by that fucking ball Jedi like in the EU.

To be fair, they cloned Palpatine like seven times in the pre-Disney Expanded Universe, so this would be "bringing back old Star Wars" like the neckbeards keep clamoring to.

I hope you're not shit-talking Dark Empires, the second most glorious part of the EU behind Trioculus!

I'd say we're only getting into hack territory if the Sun Crusher or Luuke show up.

I refuse to watch it unless they blow up a large, spherical weapon

Didn't Luke fully destroy the emperor in such a way that prevented him from appearing as a clone again? Like when Darth threw him down he got beaten so hard that he was also defeated metaphysically?

JJ being a hack isn't a rumor tho

He'll be thrown down the shaft of Death Star 4.0 by a finally redeemed Kylo Ren, who proceeds to thank his sister Rey for never giving up hope that he could change, before dying from his injuries. (barf)

Basically it's a massive ripoff that Star Wars is being strictly owned as a franchise by specific dudes right now because the whole thing could be rectified by having some other people making a parallel timeline but that kind of does not happen in big movies ever.

lmao dude don't tell me you're actually falling for this clickbait shit.

Don't worry the real one will be equally as amusing.

Well you're in luck, this time around Rey and crew have to blow up the mighty Death Orb™, which is the size of Jupiter and powered by a super dense black hole which it sucks into its ass because science and can blow up the whole galaxy if the Space Nazis don't get their way. It'll have been in development since before Episode VII because that's the only forethought the Empire and its successors are capable of and you can buy models of it for the low low price of $19.99!

Yeah in Legends one of Palpatine's failsafes in case he was ever successfully assassinated was a dozen clone bodies that he'd possess and use to return to life, he came back I believe twice this way before the clones were destroyed and a Jedi Master bound Palpatine's soul to his own to drag him into the Force himself. In the original Legends story the designer for the Death Star, Bevel Lemelisk, was punished for the flaws in the first Death Star leading to its destruction by being eaten alive by flesh-eating beetles while Palpatine watched, then the Emperor used the Force to shuttle Lemelisk's soul into a clone body, telling him that not even death would let him escape his duties. Palpatine executed and resurrected Lemelisk six more times during the second Death Star's development, and eventually a New Republic firing squad executed him for good. So Palpatine resurrecting in a new film wouldn't really be out of place, but it better be justified well to be received well.

I'm still astounded as to how terribly the new films were fucked up. Everyone was so excited when they announced the new ones, now I know people who aren't even going to bother to see the new one in cinema (and didn't bother with Solo).

The more rant videos I watched about TLJ the more happy I was that I did not actually watch it.

Honestly I thought it was either going to be that or a cloned and young version of Snoke. I dunno, maybe it will be alright? If not, well, just shows how buggered Disney's plan was with all of this

i just wanted jar jar binks to be a sith lord. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQdlQi-7Hp8

The southpark parody of Lucas raping stormtroopers (and thus being said to have been raping our childhoods) is real accurate man, except replace Lucas with Rian. The one good thing about how bad these movies have been is that it's shown people the prequels weren't actually that bad (I quite liked them anyway).

I actually liked TLJ. Sure it had a lot of plot holes, but every Star Wars movie did, and I didn't notice any of them while I was in the theater so they couldn't have been that bad. And while the story overall was weak (that whole casino subplot just fucked up the pacing), the cinematography was amazing, and it did some very inventive things. Like that bomber crew in the opening scene - Star Wars is a mashup of samurai and WW2 films in space, and doing a B-17-ish bombing run thing fits the latter perfectly, it felt very Star Wars while still being something that hadn't been done before. EVERY Star Wars movie has things you could rant about. Even New Hope and Empire have plenty of dumb bits, plot holes, things that just don't fit into canon, dorky acting, special effects goofs and other crap you could make an hour-long Youtube rant about. At this point I suspect a lot of Star Wars "fans" are just watching so they have something to bitch about. Like Fox News for neckbeards.

The bomber scene was extensively criticized as being nonsensical from a military perspective. The biggest issue with TLJ has to do with it having no substance as well as having virtually no correlation to past characters or to the Star Wars universe, going as far as to render enormous amounts of extended universe invalid instead of respecting it as well as showing basically zero respect to everything that came before by either turning established characters into twisted mockeries of themselves or rapidly killing them off. Another issue with both movies has to do with them not really progressing the plot forwards but rather retreading what happened before. The original trilogy ended with the rebels decisively freeing themselves from the grips of the empire and instead of getting some new genuinely original baddies showing up we instead get exactly the same shit without anyone explaining why the fuck the rebels exist again or why empire is dominant again.

Star Wars fans would never pass on an opportunity to tell everyone that they hate Star Wars.

nobody hates star wars more than star wars fans

that dead horse was beaten into a fine powder over "GRAVITY IN SPACE?????" and it felt like nobody remembers the OG tie bombers have a gravity-fed poop shoot too, along with Y wings being notable 'decent ship to ship fighters, but excelled at planetary bombing', probably due to the gravity thing as well. New ones just following suit (also fun to know that stationary low orbit feels almost the same amount of gravity as at the surface, so it makes physical sense for one of these dumb-bomb delivery platforms to have to get above another ship in respects to the planet) https://files.facepunch.com/forum/upload/107007/d329c336-1eb2-4c65-8045-c1b1d82a00f8/image.png the other points are yeah though one can hope the third movie puts a lot of the weird stuff into context but don't hold your breath too hard

What plot holes/things that don't fit into canon do you mean with a New Hope and Empire? There aren't any plot holes i can think of that stand out as much as the problems with TLJ.

The whole bombs going downwards thing was honestly not that big of a deal because it was probably just the bomb launching mechanism's own momentum that kept carrying the bombs downwards as they exited the bomber. Another explanation was the fact that they were magnetized which I personally do not like as much. Naturally there is also stuff that you mentioned about residual gravity.

Yeah, that's the only thing I really disagree about. The first two films are basically perfect from that perspective. Even the infamous stormtrooper marksmanship accuracy doesn't hold water for the first film, because the only time they're actually shooting at the main characters is when Vader has already given orders to let them escape so that they can lead them to the rebel base. It started to fall apart with ROTJ, though - beginning with the extensive plan to rescue Han that was great from a visual and fanservice standpoint, but made absolutely no sense if you actually stopped to think about it. And then the Emperor being an overconfident idiot who didn't even think to send multiple legions of troops to guard the shield generator on Endor - let alone those nigh invincible AT-ATs that he had guarding the fucking landing platform instead.

One of the biggest plot holes pointed out in TLJ was the faster than light travel weaponization which made pretty much all of the ship designs in the previous movies useless as well as bringing up the question why warp speed was not weaponized before.

That's a problem retroactively caused by TLJ though, not a direct plot hole with the previous movies themselves. It's a bit absurd to go "The previous movies have plot holes too, just look at this one they suddenly created decades later in a different movie" - it's a plot hole with Star Wars a whole caused by TLJ, that's not quite the same as the previous movies having plot holes.