• Write an alternate timeline in a paragraph
    4 replies, posted
Here's an account from Jared, a secret underground rebel who knows the inner workings of what they are doing to combat the Russians “When the russians invaded we didn’t know what to do, but eventually the American rebel alliance came up with a brilliant plan. Our top underground scientists came up with a way to reverse engineer shitty 2000s ford taurus’s to drive at full speed in reverse. So when the time was right, we started kamikazing the Russian fucks by stopping in the road with a turn signal on then blasting at 80 mph straight into them. Since the Russians drive those shitty boxy airbagless cars while drunk as shit on vodka, their drivers fuckin died while our brave driver just hit an airbag and got out. We got a good 4,000 ruskies with that tactic. But then they got smart. Some people noticed that their friends who drank vodka and squatted next to them every day were disappearing and people started discovering cars ran into the back of ford taurus’s. No big deal right? WRONG. Some of these cars were making vodka runs to the 7/11 and back and the dead friends were tolerable. What wasn’t tolerable was the wasted vodka. This made the ruskies start questioning which cars were traps and whatnot. They figured out the trend of taurus’s and even the deadly trapeze lawnmower death holes. They even figured out that they no longer had to drink vodka because they didn’t live in a shithole country anymore. They realized that they also didn’t have to speak the potato language and can just talk normal. Now they’re smarter and more sober than the Germans and they’re really fucking pissed. I think we’ll have to figure out something else.”
Some of the Romanov dynasty members (which eventually include Nicholas II) was accidentally converted into the [Independent] Catholics (and then later officially Eastern [Greek] Catholics by Pope himself) faith in 1894 and become the only Eastern European royal family between 1895-1917 that were switch to Catholicism for the first time in centuries. As over 100,000 ethnically Russians as well few hundreds of Non-Russians were converted into the religion in the late 1890s. Which was become controversial within the Russian Empire as the Russian Orthodox majority see this as 'schismatic' from the faith to re-established the Communion with the Pope instead following both the Ecumenical and Russian Patriarchs. Has resulted few uprisings in last three years (1902-05) the Southwest part of the Empire to demand the Royal family to switch back to the original faith or else. However, the uprisings was spark to cause the revolution as the Russian Patriarch demanding the Monarchy to reconverted back or a civil war will happen in the next decade. It happen as over 650,000 of the Russian Empirical population are now Russian Greek Catholics as the January Revolution happened, as to replace the Romanov family with a proper "truly" Russian Orthodox dynasty instead, has lives lost of 900,000 as civil war lasted for next four years, as ceasefire happen as the Empire split into the West Russian Empire (Greek Catholic) and the East Russian Empire (Russian Orthodox). Which unfortunately was short-lived as the Bolsheviks take down mostly of all the Western Russian Monarchy and exiling the Romanov family into Western Europe to be refugees as result. And later Eastern Russian defeated them in 1925 to ended the Russian Civil War. Thus finally restored and reunified the Russian Empire into the one true faith, until late 20th century as American intervention split half the Empire into a Kingdom as the its non-Slavic ethnicities become their own nations, thus reduced the Empire into the Russian Kingdom, along restated the still Greek Catholic Romanov family into power in 1982, and remained since as Greek Catholicism become Russian Kingdom's State religion as along after the US "help".
"With such a vast array of weaponry, both conventional and wildly speculative, one never has to worry about losing a firefight with the otherwordly invaders - however, there's usually a simpler solution at hand. Thanks to the unique properties of its exotic high-resolution voxel engine Source 2, the game manages not only to look stunning, but also offers unprecedented environmental interactivity never before seen. In the surprisingly diverse environments of Antarctica lurk many opportunities for dispatching the opposition almost instantly, be it by hitching a ride on your pet Snowlion as it digs through the ice and snow underneath your enemies' very feet, surprising them from behind, or by simply detonating a grenade on top of a cornice looming over them, burying them in a deadly avalanche. Many shenanigans can also be had with the high-powered microwave emitter, able to turn vast amounts of ice and snow, into vast amounts of realistically simulated water, which can be used to flush away many of the game's smaller creepy crawlies - or, get larger mooks all wet and extra susceptible to the tesla rifle. Or you can always microwave them till they explode in a shower of boiling blood, your call. Our favorite toy however, can be found upon reaching the Combine research facility. This ridiculous weapon called Induction Forge is not only able to melt the enemy's guns into a pile of red-hot liquid metal, but can also do the same to a solid steel pillar in a matter of seconds, seriously upsetting the structural stability of the very building you're standing in... With these immeasurable technical feats a breath of fresh air in the stagnating industry, Valve rewrites the book of game development and Half-Life is once again the right game in the wrong place, making all the difference for years to come."
stop being intelligent you asshole
Last page of diary fragment recovered from an abandoned Swiss Civil Protection nuclear bunker by Zambian-Congolese Federation Exploration Team VMI-C3, June 10, 2047 (translated from German) I heard a new phrase today. Able Archer 83. The day the world spoke its loudest, then stopped talking. I was in my room after school, dancing to Billy Joel's new hit, Uptown Girl, on my favourite radio station from Stuttgart across the border when the song suddenly cut out and all my radio picked up was a static hiss. Adjusting the antenna was futile. Reception could be bad, especially in bad weather, but it never just died. And weirder still was that it seemed to apply across the whole dial! I was instantly frustrated because I'd only had the radio for eight months, and it was an expensive one that was supposed to be good. I was still messing around with my radio when my mother ran in and told me I had until she came back from getting my little sisters from their room to load up my backpack with whatever I wanted to take with me into the shelter. I don't remember anything after that until I woke up in my bed in the shelter the next day with my sisters asleep next to me and my mother trying to cry without making any sound. For five years, she wouldn't tell us when father was coming home from his business trip in Belgium. Being old enough to pitch in and do chores with the adults in the shelter, I overheard what the adults wouldn't tell us children: The Soviets had misinterpreted a massive NATO nuclear response exercise as the real thing and acted first. They said Belgium doesn't exist. Neither does Stuttgart. Even if it can't pick up any stations, I've still got my radio, but I'm not living in my uptown world anymore. I'll write more tomorrow, diary. Uptown Girl by Billy Joel was #1 in the UK Billboard charts for five weeks starting November 5th, 1983.
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