I've always thought that I would be on this site until the day it died. Since that seems to be coming true I figured I might as well write my last post about it. Maybe that's obnoxious but it's not like rules matter if the site is dying soon.
I joined Facepunch on August 22nd, 2009, using the name ~Mister Sandman~ . The site almost made it to my 10th anniversary of using it. I was 12 when I joined. I'm fairly positive that a lot of my history on this site is horribly cringy because this is where I spent so much of my time and felt comfortable to bare just how much of a disgustingly awkward teenager I was.
In spite of that (or maybe because so many of you were also horribly cringy teenagers) I was mostly welcomed. In spite of my horrible sense of humor. In spite of my Brony phase and all those other regrettable things. I've met a lot of people through this site, many of whom I've fallen out of contact with. I think most important among them being my girlfriend that I dated for 6 full years, both online and in person. Which eventually did go south but, I'll talk about that in a minute. Then there's TheFilmSlacker and anyone who was a regular of STGYM.
See, my family sucks ass. I didn't have a good home growing up. We were broke constantly because my parents suck with money, and everyone in my family is toxic as hell. And bigoted, too. they didn't accept me not being straight and they made my life hell after I realized that I was trans. I had some friends at school but they didn't really 'get it' and they weren't really supportive and we only kind of shared interests. The kind of school friends that drift out of your life the moment you aren't forced to sit next to them anymore.
But on FP, I was able to find people I gelled with. People who did support me, people who had been through similar things I had and and who shared my passions and hobbies. I couldn't afford therapy or even if we could my parents sure as hell wouldn't take me to it unless that therapist would try to tell me I was wrong for thinking I was trans. So FP sorta became my therapy.
The most valuable thing that FP provided me was an environment where I wasn't alone. Wasn't the only person I knew who was in to dorky rpgs, or who was LGBT. Where I was able to express myself even if that meant a lot of regrettable moments. Especially guys like Filmslacker, who also had shitty families. We supported each other in the hopes that one day we would be able to escape and find a life we could actually enjoy. And until then we shared Fallout and TES memes and played Garry's Mod and ranted about random things that we found annoying.
As much as we thought it was impossible, we eventually did break out of those places too. AFAIK Filmslacker is living with a girl he loves and he's doing great, out of his parents house. I'm not in the best situation myself. I'm getting kicked out of where I'm living literally tomorrow. But I have someone I love, I'm on HRT, I'm on anti-depressants, I have a job, I'm pursuing therapy. And I'm not living with my family anymore. I have the tools to succeed on my own now.
There are dozens of stories about that about WoW guilds, or other forums, or garry's mod RP servers, sure, but this place was mine. This site guided me to who I am today. I spent a decade here, and it means the world to me. If I didn't use it maybe I would have found somewhere else. Maybe I would have just killed myself. Who knows. What's important is that FP held my hand through the worst part of my life, and that means a lot to me.
Thanks to everyone who's been here. It's been a real Knockout. OhHOHohohOHho see you on nkknockout fuckfeers
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WAIT SHIT GLOOMY YOU'VE BEEN MISTER SANDMAN FOR ALL THIS TIME?
