Is this a comic about Black Mesa, or just one strip?
my welcome?
[QUOTE=OfficerLamarr;44719709]Is this a comic about Black Mesa, or just one strip?[/QUOTE]
Will be a Comic, Yeah :smile:
[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Joazzz;44719815]my welcome?[/QUOTE]
?
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44719963]?[/QUOTE]it's spelled "you're"
[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]
"your" is like "your car", "your computer"
[QUOTE=Joazzz;44720223]it's spelled "you're"
[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]
"your" is like "your car", "your computer"[/QUOTE]
Not sure whether to be insulted, or take it as critique, I'll take it as critique...
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44721752]Not sure whether to be insulted, or take it as critique, I'll take it as critique...[/QUOTE]
Why would you be?
[IMG]https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5555/14083673506_818478eb87_c.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5315/13920189038_688a208a6a_c.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7058/13920213140_10c75726b9_c.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2908/14107223634_db9845a1d8_c.jpg[/IMG]
[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=kaden9596;44722045]He wasn't insulting you. He was telling you the difference between "Your", and "You're".
"Your" is used to indicate that one belonging to one self, or to any person. EX: "Is this your bike?", "Your office is that way", etc.
"You're" is basically saying "You are". If you were to use "You're" in a sentence, like "You are pretty cool", or "You are welcome", you would say "You're pretty cool", or "You're welcome".
Forgive me for sounding like a major Grammar Nazi. We're just informing you on what the difference is.
[/QUOTE]
I shall trust you sir, simply because of your Avatar GIF making me actually choke, seeing the exact same GIF only two minutes before :v:
[thumb]http://puu.sh/8zd8J.jpg[/thumb]
If the right bubble is supposed to be read before the left one then it should be higher than the left one.
My two pieces of advise to you here and now are:
1) Have your a panels on one image, uploading them as separate images is counter-intuitive.
2) Less cussing, every other speech bubble has some form of swear word in it with such frequency it doesn't feel natural.
Also what are you using to edit these together?
Also:
[QUOTE=cartman300;44722165]
If the right bubble is supposed to be read before the left one then it should be higher than the left one.[/QUOTE]
I can't stress that enough. Could've sworn I told you that in Espionage Wars, too.
No offense, but it's not 2006 anymore. You should [I]really[/I] light your panels.
[img]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7058/13920213140_10c75726b9_c.jpg[/img]
This is needlessly dark.
[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]
Also: use periods at the end of sentences, and you don't capitalize things after commas.
The stuff I like...
1.) I like the setting of the story.
My constructive criticisms
1.) Is that Arial you are using? I recommend you use another font like Web Letterer BB. You can download these fonts from dafont.com.
[QUOTE=Drsalvador;44722539] This is needlessly dark.[/QUOTE]
I was looking at some of RobDavids25's Espionage War screenshots and some of them are nicely lit. Yes, RobDavids25, you should light your comics the same way you light your Espionage War screenshots.
Other than that, thanks for sharing your comics.
At least some people have nice things to say :smile:
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44722683]At least some people have nice things to say :smile:[/QUOTE]
Nobody has said anything negative, they have only said criticism. Criticism does not equate negativity.
And I suppose I'll adress some of the issues, like lighting and such, but please bare in mind; I am fairly new to this, and I'll admit my grammar leaves somthing to be desired, but I'll see what I can do.
[editline]4th May 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=Drsalvador;44722721]Nobody has said anything negative, they have only said criticism. Criticism does not equate negativity.[/QUOTE]
Feels like negativity to me, may just be me, but still.
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44722683]At least some people have nice things to say :smile:[/QUOTE]well purely positive feedback rarely helps anyone improve
[QUOTE=Joazzz;44723146]well purely positive feedback rarely helps anyone improve[/QUOTE]
Fairly Good point
- posing is okay, not amazing but okay, try working on smaller details or emphasizing more on actions
- angles aren't too great, try backing up and zooming in a bit more
- odd phrasing, if english is not your first language I'd suggest finding someone to spellcheck these for you
- make all of your panels one image, this makes reading much smoother and easier for the reader
- lighting: this isn't a cinematic screenshot or anything so it's not too important, but some lighting could really help the feeling of a few panels
Also just a sidenote towards your views on criticisms and others, but around here on facepunch most people have a complex of giving criticism in mainly insulting, subtle, or sarcastic fashions, so slight aggression towards it is somewhat understandable, but just try to take a deep breath and roll with it. Buried under the asinine attempts at wit are often legit criticism that can help you improve if you take them to heart and work on it.
[QUOTE=Chrisordie;44722170]My two pieces of advise to you here and now are:
1) Have your a panels on one image, uploading them as separate images is counter-intuitive.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Mr.95;44724762]
- make all of your panels one image, this makes reading much smoother and easier for the reader[/QUOTE]
I do not understand what you guys are referring to. What's wrong with NOT having all panels on one image? Maybe I am using Window 8 or Google Chrome, this looks like any other comics out there.
Other GMOD comics like Apostasy, Alpha Team have multiple images they look godly. I am just wrapping up an issue of my comic and it is 48 pages long right now. Each page is 45cm by 60cm. If I upload the entire issue as one image, the issue will be over 30 meters long.
Edit: Oh, ok, I quoted the OP's post and learned that each individual panel is one image (kind of like Espionage War). Yeah, you could group all the panels into one image if your future issues are short like this or like 3 or 4 panel into one image if your issues are long.
But still, if I didn't dig deeper and quoted the OP's post, I wouldn't know that each individual panel is one image.
I like the concept and really like the idea of a new ongoing webcomic, but I got a couple of criticisms here and I hope you won't mind me saying them.
First, I don't see the need for the constant swearing. Maybe it's just me, but I don't find it funny at all, so especially counting on them as punchlines is disappointing.
Second, editing could be improved a lot. Seeing as you're seemingly doing a lot of them at a time, I don't blame you too much for trying to save time, but it just looks low quality. Get some decent fonts from [url=http://www.blambot.com/]Blambot[/url] and improve stuff like speechbubbles (too jagged, look like they were made in Microsoft Word) and the layouts. Even the classics like [url=http://www.screencuisine.net/hlcomic/]Concerned[/url] already had solid editing at the beginning, so you may want to work on that.
Basically I see real promise here, but the execution is lacking a bit. If you're new at this, then it's understandable, and your effort here is to be praised. I just want to see you improve and make this really special, because I think it can become so.
[QUOTE=Drsalvador;44722539]No offense, but it's not 2006 anymore.[/QUOTE]Funny, that's what I feel like saying almost every time I see a comic around these parts, but not because of the lighting. :v: (Sorry, couldn't resist! This isn't a jab at you, RobDavids25, just a general comment)
[QUOTE=Mythos;44728468]I like the concept and really like the idea of a new ongoing webcomic, but I got a couple of criticisms here and I hope you won't mind me saying them.
First, I don't see the need for the constant swearing. Maybe it's just me, but I don't find it funny at all, so especially counting on them as punchlines is disappointing.
Second, editing could be improved a lot. Seeing as you're seemingly doing a lot of them at a time, I don't blame you too much for trying to save time, but it just looks low quality. Get some decent fonts from [url=http://www.blambot.com/]Blambot[/url] and improve stuff like speechbubbles (too jagged, look like they were made in Microsoft Word) and the layouts. Even the classics like [url=http://www.screencuisine.net/hlcomic/]Concerned[/url] already had solid editing at the beginning, so you may want to work on that.
Basically I see real promise here, but the execution is lacking a bit. If you're new at this, then it's understandable, and your effort here is to be praised. I just want to see you improve and make this really special, because I think it can become so.
Funny, that's what I feel like saying almost every time I see a comic around these parts, but not because of the lighting. :v: (Sorry, couldn't resist! This isn't a jab at you, RobDavids25, just a general comment)[/QUOTE]
Please note; I've cut back on the Swearing for the comic now, so... Yeah
And also; I will be improving as time goes by, but its not gonna improve to the levels of majesty I'd hope for overnight, and I'm not too bothered by the artisitic license, more in just making the comic, but thanks for voicing your opinions, some have been quite helpful :smile:
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44727203][IMG]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7364/14112610085_03eca59663_c.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Okay, this is how I'm reading this:
[QUOTE]
"Doctor Hiramoto? Security unit Harper here sir, about-"
"I already have a feeling I know what you are here about, mister Harper..."
"Yes, but I have a REASON, Otis lost his guts again in the Barracks, and in MY helmet"
"...yesterdays failed appearance perhaps? Fear not mister Harper, management has decided upon a suitable replacement detail for you today"
"Fuck, my, life."
"That's good to hear doc, ya know, for a second there I-"
[/QUOTE]
Everything should be top to down, left to right, in order they're saying things. Also, when using full stops for emphasis, use periods instead of commas. Other than that, there are a few capitalizations that shouldn't be there.
Other than that, I like where this comic is going. :v:
[QUOTE=Alsojames;44730075]Okay, this is how I'm reading this:
Everything should be top to down, left to right, in order they're saying things. Also, when using full stops for emphasis, use periods instead of commas. Other than that, there are a few capitalizations that shouldn't be there.
Other than that, I like where this comic is going. :v:[/QUOTE]
I honestly stopped caring, since I find nothing constructive in repeating what you've said in multiple forum posts, thanks.
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44737195]I honestly stopped caring, since I find nothing constructive in repeating what you've said in multiple forum posts, thanks.[/QUOTE]he tells you the same advice many times, you don't learn, and suddenly it's his fault?
[QUOTE=Joazzz;44737306]he tells you the same advice many times, you don't learn, and suddenly it's his fault?[/QUOTE]
His fault for what...? I'm telling him I know theres problems with how I set out the comic, but I don't really think the speech bubbles is a major issue to focus on
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44737386]His fault for what...? I'm telling him I know theres problems with how I set out the comic, but I don't really think the speech bubbles is a major issue to focus on[/QUOTE]
the order of how people read your comics is a pretty big deal if you ask me. there's nothing I find more annoying with comics than when the bubbles are ordered wrong, making me read stuff twice to make sure I got it correct
[QUOTE=PredGD;44737432]the order of how people read your comics is a pretty big deal if you ask me. there's nothing I find more annoying with comics than when the bubbles are ordered wrong, making me read stuff twice to make sure I got it correct[/QUOTE]
Numbering it is then...
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44737386]His fault for what...? I'm telling him I know theres problems with how I set out the comic, but I don't really think the speech bubbles is a major issue to focus on[/QUOTE]
It IS a major issue, though. Your posing is pretty good (not stellar, but serviceable, i.e., the quality is not distracting), the writing, despite some minor grammatical errors, is well done and quite entertaining, but my biggest problem is that I have is that I have to scan every panel to figure out the right order to read everything in, then read it again. I shouldn't have to do that.
[editline]6th May 2014[/editline]
[QUOTE=RobDavids25;44737461]Numbering it is then...[/QUOTE]
This isn't really a good idea, either. It looks incredibly amateurish. It'd be easier just to plop the first bubble in sequence at the top-left of the panel and go from there. Remember, left-right, top-down.
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