Erotic Programming

[Kaphonaits]

Hi there. I would like to say first of all this thread shouldn't be taken too seriously because it is a fucking silly thread. Now let's get started. This thread is about posting erotic code snippets just for fun. The language doesn't matter as long as it isn't Brainfuck or some really strange language like that.

#include <iostream>
int main(int argc, char* argv[])
{
        float penisSize = 8.5;

        if(penisSize < 5)
        {
                std::cout << "Your girlfriend just threw you out because your penis was too small. Get one of those swedish things." << std::endl;
        } else {
                std::cout << "You had sex. And you are a Facepunchian. Nice going." << std::endl;
        }
        return 0;
}

[hydra263]

This is dumb.

[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Rate, don't post / Why reply" - Terrenteller))[/highlight]

[pro ruby dev]

get->theFuck( out )

[Nipa]

-snip-

[pro ruby dev]

More [b]quality[/b] Kaphonaits threads:

[url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/953279-What-have-you-gotten]What have you gotten?[/url]
[quote]
I'm pretty tired right now so don't blame me if i make any spelling or grammar mistakes.

Anyway, on to the thread. Simple post what you've 'gotten' from your girl/boyfriend or a prostitute or whatever. If you still don't get what i mean, here's some examples:

(Hug, Kiss, Make-out, Feel-up, Handjob, Blowjob, Sex)

That's basically it.
---
I've gotten plenty of hugs and kisses from my girlfriend. Nothing more. :(

Anyway, post away.
[/quote]

[url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1002911-Halo-Reach-Review-My-official-thoughts]His 'official' thoughts on Halo Reach[/url]
[quote][b]fucking tl;dr[/b][/quote]

[url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1008595-Longest-you-ve-stayed-up]Longest you've stayed up[/url] - gee what a baller
[quote]
I'm just curious to see how long any of you FP'ers have stayed up. Without sleep. Probably the longest for me was around 48 hours. No coffee or any caffeine. I dunno why I stayed up that long. But I missed Thanksgiving dinner because I fell asleep and didn't get any fresh turkey.

Anyway, post your adventure of staying up. Detail would be nice.

EDIT:

To keep this thread interesting I'm going to be staying up around 24 hours and i'm going to write shit every hour or so. So let's start here.

(Oops forgot to update this)

11:25 PM - Feeling a little tired because I just came back from a dance.
1:50 AM - Getting some headaches
2:15 AM - Popped some popcorn and started watching Scrubs
2:40 AM - Eating popcorn and watching Scrubs: Food made my headache go away(?)
4:30 AM - Stopped watching Scrubs, got more popcorn, started playing Quake Live
7:00 AM - Ate breakfast, blacked out while lying on couch
1:00 PM - Woke up

<end> [/quote]

[url=http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1027540-Teens-And-Sex]Teens And Sex[/url]
[quote]
This probably sounds like a paranoid-parent thread from the title, but it is not. I heard that someone who goes to the local junior high (she's 13 and her boyfriend is also 13) had sex and I've even seen pictures of the used condom to prove it.

What the fuck were they thinking? Why the hell would they just go in and have sex? They're not even 18 yet (American age of consent). I know some people might disagree with me: "Sex is something everyone can enjoy"/whatever but this really disturbs me.

I'll be honest with you, I don't get it.

Discuss. [/quote]

[b]tl;dr[/b] op is twelve years old

[Pirate Ninja]

/snip/

[pro ruby dev]

[QUOTE=Pirate Ninja;26195163][quote]7:56 AM - Kaphonaits: im trolling the shit out of fp
7:56 AM - Kaphonaits: because i hate fp[/quote]master troll right here folks[/QUOTE]

ding ding ding 'i hate fp' that can only mean one thing

[zatox9632]

-snip-

[Kaphonaits]

[QUOTE=pro ruby dev;26195174]ding ding ding 'i hate fp' that can only mean one thing[/QUOTE]That i'm going to get banned? Yep.

And I can tell you that I don't give two shits about this community. This community is full of worthless assholes who thrive upon their money their parents wanted them to use to go to college but they chose not to so they could sit at home playing Half-Life 2.

This community can't loosen up and will jump at the chance to insult someone just to look 'mature' and it will catch and burn like a wildfire.

And in response to the "op is 12 years old" idea; No. I just haven't lost my common sense and perception of reality and I actually give a shit about others. As opposed to you guys.

So go ahead [b]ban me[/b] and I assure you I'll feel better about myself because I'll have an actual reason to not browse FP.

Good fucking day.

[highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Leaving" - Terrenteller))[/highlight]

[Pirate Ninja]

[QUOTE=Kaphonaits;26195236]That i'm going to get banned? Yep.

And I can tell you that I don't give two shits about this community. This community is full of worthless assholes who thrive upon their money their parents wanted them to use to go to college but they chose not to so they could sit at home playing Half-Life 2.

This community can't loosen up and will jump at the chance to insult someone just to look 'mature' and it will catch and burn like a wildfire.

And in response to the "op is 12 years old" idea; No. I just haven't lost my common sense and perception of reality and I actually give a shit about others.

As opposed to you guys. So go ahead _ban me_ and I assure you I'll feel better about myself because I'll have an actual reason to not browse FP.

Good fucking day.[/QUOTE]

start a board for intelectual people only with null.

[pro ruby dev]

[img]http://anyhub.net/file/Zkr-banme.png[/img]

[highlight](User was banned for this post ("Image Macro" - Terrenteller))[/highlight]

[Pirate Ninja]

[QUOTE]8:06 AM - Kaphonaits: and I hate my relationship with my girlfriend and I hate how my life is going right now and I actually am resiting getting my Insomnia pills to overdose
[/QUOTE]
Someones turning 13 soon

[pro ruby dev]

[QUOTE=Kaphonaits;26195236]Good fucking day.[/QUOTE]

o no u trolld us hard lol!1

[jA_cOp]

So hey do you happen to have some other pics regarding that 13 y/o couple having *gasp* safe sex????? Please contact me [I][B][U]ASAP[/U][/B][/I] man!!!11

:v:

[deloc]

[QUOTE=Kaphonaits;26195236]That i'm going to get banned? Yep.

And I can tell you that I don't give two shits about this community. This community is full of worthless assholes who thrive upon their money their parents wanted them to use to go to college but they chose not to so they could sit at home playing Half-Life 2.

This community can't loosen up and will jump at the chance to insult someone just to look 'mature' and it will catch and burn like a wildfire.

And in response to the "op is 12 years old" idea; No. I just haven't lost my common sense and perception of reality and I actually give a shit about others. As opposed to you guys.

So go ahead [b]ban me[/b] and I assure you I'll feel better about myself because I'll have an actual reason to not browse FP.

Good fucking day.[/QUOTE]

this banme is so moronic that only a 12-year-old could write it.

0/10 for effort.

[pro ruby dev]

[QUOTE=Nipa;26195044]-snip-[/QUOTE]

real men stay in banmes all the way to the fiery end

[torekk]

[QUOTE=Pirate Ninja;26195285][quote]I actually am resiting getting my Insomnia pills to overdose[/quote]
Someones turning 13 soon[/QUOTE]

Too bad that doesn't works. Atleast not if you're taking newer pills, you'd need some from the 80s or such to actually overdose and die from it. Enjoy the pain you'll feel though.

[deloc]

tbh based on that post, it sounds like he got trolled instead.

[Nipa]

Real men don't get banned 1,000 times (turb, turby, turb_, os x, django, csharp, x'trapolis, not turb, siemens, pro ruby dev)

[jA_cOp]

This isn't a banme thread just because someone posted a banme post in it. There has to be a distinction!

Probably.

(About those pics man where is the love my inbox isn't seeing any action!?)

[pro ruby dev]

real men look bans straight in the face and say fuck you

[editline]what[/editline]

also you forgot comeng and hitachi

[Nipa]

You never really know. By posting in this thread, we're gambling with our accounts.
[QUOTE=pro ruby dev;26195417]real men look bans straight in the face and say fuck you[/QUOTE]
Real men like not having to get new IPs constantly just so they can browse a forum.

[editline]21st November 2010[/editline]

[QUOTE=pro ruby dev;26195417]

[editline]what[/editline]

also you forgot comeng and hitachi[/QUOTE]

you have so many nobody can remember any more