On which side are you? God or Satan - Developers

If there would be holy cyber walfare and you could choose side, which would it be? God or Satan? Would you help Satan conquer the world with your C# skills? Would you make auto-aiming turret for God with machine vision skills? Would you hack the enemies? Would you make autonomous vehicles for army? [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/RSZjYLS.jpg[/img_thumb] [b]Working for God[/b] Pros: The compiler forgives you everytime your code is wrong. You will get to heaven of course. You will have naked women lying beside you. If you are noob and can't code, you will be forgiven. Actually, everything is forgiven. Because God has many prayers and their computers, you get big botnet. And because you work for god, your short term memory will double - bigger ability to memorize. Let's not forget good food - you get unlimited supply of chicken. (Chicken are not religious therefore it's ok to kill and eat them). And another special ability - you can ask prayers for help. It will boost your ego but that is. Cons: No music in heaven, only peace. You won't be able to touch naked women because that is a sin. If you touch them boobies, you will get holy lecture - 12 hours of forced Holy Bible reading. Because (almost) everything is forgiven, there is big possibility that you might work with noob programmer. [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/uCM1cTU.png[/img_thumb] [b]Working for Satan[/b] It's tough but it might be fun, if you survive. Cons: If compiler detects more than one error, Satan will set you on fire. He doesn't need idiots in his army. You are in hell basically. Satan doesn't gives a fuck about your mental health. You have women for that, but they went to hell... Pros: Because you are in hell, well there are many women to touch. Actually they may molest you because you might be one of the smartest guys there. Unlimited hardware Because of fact that you must NOT make a mistake with code this means you will work only with the best - if anyone survives Also Satans power gives you ability that you never need to eat or never sleep. And you also get strong social engineering skills - because you are deceiver. Non-stop metal music everywhere. [b]You must pick either side but remember[/b] Both God and Satan are assholes. Choose wisely. Also both have Gigabit connection because that is atleast they can do.

Working for god is a terrible deal, naked women everywhere but you can't touch them boobies without a lecture. That's worse than death, so I'm going with Satan. Satan is cooler too.

If possible at all, I'd be on Satan's side as an infiltrator to gather as much knowledge as possible about coding and what God's people are up to. Once I've gotten enough intel I'd return to Hell with all the knowledge that I can keep from the improved memeory and abuse it to make as flawless code as possible to fuck over the opposing side, all while having damn great time with hot chicks and awesome music to listen to.

You should add the fact that you go to hell in the end if you choose Satan. Without it Satan's deal is clearly the best.

[img_thumb]http://api.ning.com/files/3YnG4IYlIttfflxh-ec6*l5WtaQ0zRNkr14oMH3w-Uh4mOQCdzrPb8GC7erEjMz5SyMQlvI1zdiwxfmoKLVtMg__/jesus_laughing_1.jpg?width=450&height=600[/img_thumb] [b]Beware[/b] God has decided to screw Satan and cut of his supply of Viagras. Because Satans army is under strong stress, they don't get erections 95% of time. You can still choose Jesus he warns you.

God's a cunt.

You can write complain to him.

wtf am I reading

[quote]Would you make auto-aiming turret for God with machine vision skills?[/quote] if I work for satan can I make an auto-aiming turret [I]at[/I] god

if your programming skills allow you so :v:

[QUOTE=Fourier;47884719]if your programming skills allow you so :v:[/QUOTE] Dunno but aiming at a huge man in the sky seems easier than tracking the skeleton army

[QUOTE=DrTaxi;47884870]Dunno but aiming at a [B]huge man in the sky[/B] seems easier than tracking the skeleton army[/QUOTE] God is sensitive about his weight. You just earned yourself a 12 hour bible sesh.

[QUOTE=Fourier;47876212][...] If compiler detects more than one error, Satan will set you on fire. He doesn't need idiots in his army. [...][/QUOTE] Do runtime errors count? If not I'll voluntarily use PHP :rolleyes:

I honestly truely don't see how any of this is relevant to programming ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[QUOTE=Fourier;47876212] And you also get strong social engineering skills - because you are deceiver. [/QUOTE] Then I can use them to convince Satan that it's not a compiler error, it's a bug with the language, and get off scot-free. Heh.

Of course, he can't read mind.

I have de' big bötnët dere für I'm göd.

[B][I][U]Wrong forum, move this please[/U][/I][/B]

[QUOTE=VortexZ;48239875]I have de' big bötnët dere für I'm göd.[/QUOTE] I see you work for Satan, red color = 6, triple red color 666 = devil [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/3yUbu3L.png[/IMG]

hehehe :> [editline]6th August 2015[/editline] I actually have Opera Mini it switches ip for some reason.

EDITED: Nevermind, this topic is too stupid to even answer. EDIT 2: Ok I play along, I pick god, sounds like a lot less stress when doing things, no need to worry ever.