Programming Jokes February - Obligatory Witty Remark - Developers

Watery Highlights: [quote=Wizard of Ass] [IMG]http://img.chan4chan.com/img/2010-01-27/1264577798660.jpg[/IMG] [/quote] [quote=Xeon06]Saying Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders.[/quote] [quote=Ortzinator]Knock knock. Who's there? -long pause- Java [/quote] [quote=Jallen]// No comment.[/quote] [quote=ZeekyHBomb]How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? false.[/quote] [quote=phazmatis]Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25[/quote] [quote=Agent766]There's 10 kinds of people in this world. Ones who understand binary and ones who don't. Programmers seem to lose it bit by bit.[/quote] [quote=Huskehn]I think this falls under more of a "Post Your" thread but it fits more here. Ever make any witty programming jokes in real life that no one got? I have. I'm curious to hear others'. Once my friend was working on something and he said "I can't operate under these conditions." So I said, "You must not be a... CONDITIONAL OPERATOR." I laughed slightly and then went home and cried myself to sleep.[/quote] [quote=r4nk_]An SQL Query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks "Can I join you?" :smug:[/quote] So, Facepunch, What witty remark do you have for us today?

I don't really think this thread needs to be closed every month - it just sort of creeps along, and the old one just barely broke 25 pages in over a year. But anyway, new (ish) content for the new thread: [quote]All my girlfriends' names have ended in .jpg[/quote] [quote]How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? "It's hard to say. Each time we separate the bulb into its modules to do unit testing, it stops working."[/quote]

If you can't manage your project deadline properly, it's all gonna go BorderLayout.SOUTH.

php

[img]http://i.imgur.com/hy7eR.png[/img]

I'd like to perform an insertion sort on you baby ;)

[QUOTE=Turd92;34510591]I'd like to perform an insertion sort on you baby ;)[/QUOTE] If not, a quick sort will do

[QUOTE=Ziks;34510811]If not, a quick sort will do[/QUOTE] I dread to think what a bubble sort would be...

Binary tree

[QUOTE=Chris220;34511433]I dread to think what a bubble sort would be...[/QUOTE] inflation

Garry :v: jk's love you bbz

Do you know how to generate binary trees easily ? with binary seeds...

Text conversation with a friend late last night: "I don't like programming jokes, not one bit." "Sorry for the slow reply, I was garbage collecting"

I was learning to do some java script programming a few weeks back and was given help from a friend. Programming had overtaken my brain so much I was doing silly thinks like adding quotes around normal text to people. Needless to say I thanked the friend who was helping me, I said something like "Hey thanks for all the help man" I then realized I missed typing the " ! " at the end so I put it on separate line, then realized what it means (in programming lingo). Being that I'd only recently learned what the ! operator does. I found it rather amusing and funny.

Wat: [quote=GC Song extends Another Song] There's an object, burning in my RAM. Hiding in my address space and its bringing me out the dark The fact you're dereferenced makes me breathless, I can't help feeling... We could of had it all! Why were you dereferenced? [/quote] hey look what boredom can do to someone

[QUOTE=r0b0tsquid;34508080]I don't really think this thread needs to be closed every month - it just sort of creeps along, and the old one just barely broke 25 pages in over a year. But anyway, new (ish) content for the new thread:[/QUOTE] I have to agree with you here. I know there's the push for monthly thread editions now, but if I recall rightly it was said in the "Ask us about the forums" thread that monthly threads were only really necessary for series that were broaching 3000 posts. [editline]4th February 2012[/editline] However there's no record of the thread being closed in the last OP's events so I imagine it may have been automated.

It was automated

[QUOTE=Map in a box;34538115]It was automated[/QUOTE] So I imagine then that there's a script that automatically closes threads above a threshold number of posts at the end of every month now, then?

"A programmer is a tool for turning caffeine into programs"

Bubble Sort

Bogosort

This type of joke is probably really over done "Programmers are !good at making love"

[QUOTE=cdlink14;34526170]I was learning to do some java script programming a few weeks back and was given help from a friend. Programming had overtaken my brain so much I was doing silly thinks like adding quotes around normal text to people. Needless to say I thanked the friend who was helping me, I said something like "Hey thanks for all the help man" I then realized I missed typing the " ! " at the end so I put it on separate line, then realized what it means (in programming lingo). Being that I'd only recently learned what the ! operator does. I found it rather amusing and funny.[/QUOTE] The same kind of thing happens to me sometimes when I have been doing a lot of programming. I start to use the enter key a lot more and space out my post's. I mean this could have all been in one or two paragraphs and looked a lot nicer. But I had to go and make a point.

[QUOTE=reevezy67;34555772]The same kind of thing happens to me sometimes when I have been doing a lot of programming. I start to use the enter key a lot more and space out my post's. I mean this could have all been in one or two paragraphs and looked a lot nicer. But I had to go and make a point.[/QUOTE] A habit I've developed is spacing my parentheses for the sake of easy reading. eg. ( "Hello world!" ) instead of ("Hello World!")

Visual Basic

[QUOTE=bull3tmagn3t;34567261]Visual Basic[/QUOTE] i hate that i need to do this, but sit down and let me teach you comedy 101. that type of joke has already been made in this thread. it's funny the first time because it was an unexpected response. it's [i]not[/i] funny the second time because we all laughed the first time and now we're over it.

[QUOTE=swift and shift;34569294]i hate that i need to do this, but sit down and let me teach you comedy 101. that type of joke has already been made in this thread. it's funny the first time because it was an unexpected response. it's [i]not[/i] funny the second time because we all laughed the first time and now we're over it.[/QUOTE] Nor was it really funny when you said PHP to be honest...

"Name please johnSmith"

[QUOTE=Darwin226;34569520]Nor was it really funny when you said PHP to be honest...[/QUOTE] i found it hilarious

[QUOTE=swift and shift;34569840]i found it hilarious[/QUOTE] So did he with his visual basic joke. It doesn't change the fact that it was already used a few times in the last thread.