Computer Game I'm Currently Developing [I want your opinion on the general plot-line ONLY] - Games

Before I get anywhere into this, I just want to both clarify the reason I put the information in the []'s in the title and acknowledge it's most definite existence. It's there to make absolutely clear that you all know that the ONLY thing i want from you guys is your opinion on the most basic plot-line for a game I'm currently developing. I am NOT trying to advertise a game that is in development, I do NOT want donations, I do NOT want you to spread the word to your friends, I do NOT want any of you to subscribe to my YouTube channel in hope to catch the soon to come trailers and videos of what i have so far, and i most definitely DO NOT want to advertise it. Yes I put the same reason down twice, but for good reason. A year or so ago I got temp. banned for posting a SINGLE topic about said game in this GENERAL GAMES sub-forum for and I quote; "Spamming Dumb Advertisements." which I think is stupid cause i was only asking for the same thing I'm asking for now, but i guess i didn't make it very clear then and made it seem too much like i was advertising my game or something, which I'm not. But whatever, I'm over that nonsense now. OK now that THAT'S been defined; on to business. So I've been developing this game I designed for the past year or two and I'm not so sure if my plot-line is very good. It seems like it might possibly be a bit to common for a game, but maybe it's good, I'm not entirely sure. So I've come to you guys seeking your opinions. OK so basically the game is about this guy from the real world and a few of his friends who accidentally end up in an entirely different dimension. Once in this other dimension they end up getting tied into a war between the people of said dimension, and a race of beings composed of pure dark matter that feed on people's souls. Said beings are controlled by an evil man that no one has ever seen before. In said other dimension Magic is both possible and highly studied. Said dimension is ruled by a council until one of the two sole remaining royal family members, two sisters, become eligible to be queen. The game centers around earlier said guy and his "adventure" fighting the war against the evil race of dark beings. It's both a FPS and a third person game [camera can be switched between the two under settings.] and I think it'll be rather fun, but again I just wanted your guys' opinions so feedback is greatly appreciated. [I am NOT advertising ANYTHING. It's not even far enough in development to be advertised and I purposely left out any and all character names along with the title because again; IM NOT ADVERTISING ANYTHING.] Thank you for your time.

Seems pretty generic to me. Dark beings stealing soles, randomly winding up in a different realm, world etc.. I don't have much to go off though, but still, this general outline seems like generic fantasy to me.

I like how you didn't make a "Bad" option in the poll. But anyway, it was a little confusing. How did they end up in the dimension? And is the dimension like theirs (with humans etc) or does it have a fantasy setting? I'm just a little curious. I think it's okay.

This does sound rather generic. Make it so the bad guys are actually not bad but simply being forced out of their homes or something along those lines. Make the dark beings the poor middle men.

Sure, I won't share this with anyone, or stalk you about this game. But that's just because you have a very generic storyline. I don't see anything new here. [editline]27th December 2010[/editline] Instead of a standard "Good vs Evil" storyline, why not have two rival factions where it seems like the normal Good vs Evil, but then you find out that the opposing faction is just as right as your own, and everything boils down to politics and shit. I'd enjoy that. I love games with politics.

@Omfgplosion Yes, I agree the most basic plot is pretty fantasy generic, but the content is all going to be original and its mostly inspired by the idea of "If I could create an entire world that has anything I wanted in it, what would it be like?" debate I had with a friend a LONG time ago. @spanaren I didn't make a "Bad" option because my self esteem is bad enough to begin with right now. I hate myself. I didn't go into too much detail because I didn't want it to seem too much like advertising, but it does need some detail. Basically they are talking outside their school and the world pretty much ends. Meteors fall, the ground crumbles, the Dark Beings arrive and start causing chaos, and they "die" and then wake up somehow in said other dimension. It's kinda odd, and weird cause later when they find their way back home it's in perfect shape. @lockdown6 Well thank you Mr, Troll. I'll just have to go get my screw you sign from the attic. Brb. @Swilly Well, this is actually part of a series I've designed, and later some weird things are revealed about the bad guy not really being bad, so that's taken care of. Also, the Dark Beings are basically just zombies. They're mindless beings that care about nothing but survival and they can't survive without eating. They follow whoever has the most power because they know that said person will lead them to what they want; food. @Agoat That is where I believe game #3 comes into play.

Is this, at all, taken from KH. :allears:

@Rubs10 Not at all. I do like that game series despite the stupid Disney charecters, but that's completley different. For one thing, in that series it's worlds, not dimensions. Also, Heartless A: Are made from darkness itself, and B: Feed on hearts. Whilst my creatues are A: Composed of Dark Matter which for those who don't know is what makes space black, and B: Feed on souls.

[QUOTE=MageMaster;26995285]@Rubs10 Not at all. I do like that game series despite the stupid Disney charecters, but that's completley different. For one thing, in that series it's worlds, not dimensions. Also, Heartless A: Are made from darkness itself, and B: Feed on hearts. Whilst my creatues are A: Composed of Dark Matter which for those who don't know is what makes space black, and B: Feed on souls.[/QUOTE] Hearts, souls, they're all the same. Same thing said about dimensions and worlds. Same thing could even be said about "darkness" and dark matter. Seems like you just replaced some words.

[QUOTE=MageMaster;26995285]@Rubs10 Not at all. I do like that game series despite the stupid Disney charecters, but that's completley different. For one thing, in that series it's worlds, not dimensions. Also, Heartless A: Are made from darkness itself, and B: Feed on hearts. Whilst my creatues are A: Composed of Dark Matter which for those who don't know is what makes space black, and B: Feed on souls.[/QUOTE] If you want to reply, click that little reply button under the post. Also I like it, But It is overly generic. It reminds me of amnesia :v:

@ShazzyFreak0 Actually, Hearts are just organs which circulate our blood and keep us, you know, alive. Souls are what define us. they are both our conscious and subconscious combined. Without souls we just plain would think at all. Worlds are planets within a universe, Dimensions contain universes. Darkness is space without particles of light traveling through it, also known as shadows but I didn't wanna say shadows for it cause that happens to be what my enemies are CALLED. Dark Matter is Negative Matter filling the space between everything in the universe. Imagine a space without air, gases, dust, stone, anything, just pure nothing, not imagine somehow having LESS than nothing in said space, that's Dark Matter. Also, to top it off, Heartless look stupid and harmless. My shadows at least look like they COULD hurt you. [editline]27th December 2010[/editline] @Activeellis Meh, Reply button's okay, but personally I like the system I'm using better. Don't know why, but I do. As for the amnesia thing, I've never heard of it, is it a game or something? I mean of course there's amnesia the condition in which the subject can't remember either specific things or just everything, but I don't see how that reference would make any sense here.

First off, don't protect what you've made. You need to see what people pull out to fully understand whether or not the message you're trying to convey is getting through. Second, and I'm telling you from personal experience, be prepared for plot holes and the like. They're unavoidable at an early stage and the earlier you start defending them, the more likely they'll get worse. Seriously, these two points have basically frozen up whatever I've been writing, combined with college being assholish.

@Swilly Thanks for the advice, but I don't really understand your meaning in the first bit and the second, well development-of-the-game-wise I'm early in, but Design of the plot and gameplay, well, lets just say not only have I finished 98% of the plot for the entire game series i plan to make, but I've been working out the plot holes and such for over 4 years now, so I think I'm good to go. Also, High School is the same way right now. Now, it's about 2 AM here so I'm going to go count score and I will check back on this topic later today. Closing note: I half expected this to result in people thinking my plot is in need of improvement/okay, however; despite that I'm still making this game with the same plot because just making it means a lot to me, it's my contribution to the gaming world, whether it's a good contribution or not is beyond me, but at least I'll be able to die saying I've done something. Night all.

I too think it need some improvement, as it is a bit too generic. But since it is the general outline of the plot, the final thing might be more unique. To be fair, everything you can think of now is most likely done before. I [i]thought[/i] I had a really unique plot idea, but when time passed I saw that it isn't that unique. It hasn't been done in games yet I think, but I can't make games worth shit, so yeah.

There's a reply button, you know.

Throw in some plot twists.

It's kind of stale. You should add some plot twists and maybe even some moral dilemmas. [editline]27th December 2010[/editline] Wow ninja

Why did you make this thread if you weren't going to change the plot. [QUOTE=MageMaster;26995620]but at least I'll be able to die saying I've done something. Night all.[/QUOTE] You'll be comforted by the fact that you made nothing but garbage?

It's the usual thing we see over in the mapping section as well. "Hey guys, look at this, I made it, any recommendations for improving upon it?" "Sure, you could try doing X and Y." *Person doesn't accept criticism and they're bound to fail.*

Most fantasy driven stories seem to be bland and generic these days. Looks like somebody threw together two fantasy stories and made them get in a fight however that is my opinion and I'm sleep deprived, so yeah.

@Durandir Touche. @Themage Already have many, but that's within the meat of the plotline whilst what I've posted is more the skeleton of part one. @Rallepower Same thing as Themage @Rubs10 Simple; I like to know what people think of my work whether it matters or not, i like to keep informed of details as you cannot possibly create a big nice picture without little seemingly insignificant details. [editline]27th December 2010[/editline] [QUOTE=Zally13;26995821]It's the usual thing we see over in the mapping section as well. "Hey guys, look at this, I made it, any recommendations for improving upon it?" "Sure, you could try doing X and Y." *Person doesn't accept criticism and they're bound to fail.*[/QUOTE] Lol I'm tired so I used the reply button, DEAL WITH IT! Anyways, I never asked for how I could improve it, I just asked for your opinian.

Sounds very similar to Kingdom Hearts really.

kingdom hearts was the first thing that came to my mind try to be a little more original

Terrible. Generic, generic and generic storyline and the OP was around 90% saying NOT ADVERTISING and not on actual content itself.

[QUOTE=war_man333;26996572]kingdom hearts was the first thing that came to my mind try to be a little more original[/QUOTE] This pretty much sums my thoughts up.

Stop wasting your time. You're like every other 16 year old who thinks he can design and develop his own game. Try finding your real talent. This obviously isn't it.

Generic JRPG story. Or Kingdom Hearts story, same thing.

You know there is more to designing a game than just writing a story. You need to make the story sufficient to gameplay amongs other things. Design areas and give a clear picture of things. Designing gameplay. And the whole thing should have a [B]catch[/B]. Making just a story that many recognize as Kingdom Hearts isn't gonna cut it. Allthough there are some games which are built specifically around story, but those ones require a nearly perfect one. Just amongst the basics for a good story: a protagonist, an antagonist, atleast two twists (preferably ones that make sense) and also character development. And ofcource some good dialogue.

Move away from conventional plot devices and techniques that you see in so many JRPGs if you want to be taken seriously. If you're wanting to keep it that style then you better have some amazing gameplay elements to make up for it. Invent something of your own COMPLETELY. Sure inspiration is fine but if you're going to borrow an existing idea, change it as much as possible so its less obvious. Try and create a spin on the usual fantasy story. Don't use Kingdom Hearts as a base either. Its story isn't exactly admirable especially given its a cash in game.

[QUOTE=MageMaster;26995285]@Rubs10 Not at all. I do like that game series despite the stupid Disney charecters, but that's completley different. For one thing, in that series it's worlds, not dimensions. Also, Heartless A: Are made from darkness itself, and B: Feed on hearts. Whilst my creatues are A: Composed of [b]Dark Matter which for those who don't know is what makes space black[/b], and B: Feed on souls.[/QUOTE] It's dark because you are witnessing where there is an absence of light.