Half Life 2: Episode 3 is out! (If you were Valve, how would you announce...) - Games

If you were Valve, how would you announce and release HL2:ep3? I would spread rumors by making a thread on Facepunch. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Crap Thread." - Seiteki))[/highlight]

your thread title makes me want to destroy you for lying to me :saddowns:

[QUOTE=Wii60;28703474]your thread title makes me want to destroy you for lying to me :saddowns:[/QUOTE] We'll get him when he walks out to his car.

If I was Valve I won't even say it came out

[QUOTE=Wootman;28703814]If I was Valve I won't even say it came out[/QUOTE] *1 month after release* "Well, no one bought it, so I guess we'll just take it off the market."

As soon as we finished making it, I would announce that it was cancelled. Then, 10 years later, I would release the game onto steam and into stores without an announcement.

I wouldn't announce it because I broke the only disk on the way to Gabe's office.

I'd put it 50% off on Steam with no warning, no hype, no nothing. Be a cool experiment.

If you're expecting attention, people are going to leave this thread as easy as clicking on it.

I would make a Youtube video of GabeN eating a hamburger with Ep 3's release date and a few screenshots in the background.

I would have a trailer that is GabeN dancing to "I'm too sexy" by Right Said Fred, the case for EP3 lodged in his rolls of lard, slowly sliding out letting players see what it is at about 2 minutes into the trailer. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39YUXIKrOFk[/media] Skipping ahead would be disabled.

I would post a picture of a scout with an headcrab hat and holding a crowbar on the TF2 blog :v:

What I would do (and what I hope they'd do) is just release the game without [i]any[/i] advertisement. "Wait what the fuck when was this added to Steam?" Or just walking into a retail store and seeing a few retail copies tucked away.

I would release it at only one gas station in the middle of Wyoming.

I saw this from the front page and my heart skipped a beat. I was disappointed.

I would purposely leak the first 5 minutes of the game onto the internet, everyone plays it, only sees a little shit, really hardly anything, and then cancel the game saying the leak cost too much money.

Announce that it's on Steam RIGHT NOW during E3 or something similar, bar the doors and watch nerds claw each other to the death

Release it on Steam but at the same time shut down the servers for maintenance for an undisclosed amount of time.

Fuck you i think i had a heart attack

.... lol I thought it was released

I'd announce it in the Fast Threads first.

I would announce it in the furry section

I would put out a trailer on Steam of G-Man talking about some shit then he gets smacked in the face with the cover of the game, THEN SUDDEN RELEASE WITHOUT ANY OTHER FORM OF ADVERTISEMENT.

I'd call a press conference, and let everyone sit for a good solid three or four minutes, walk out to the podium, look around for another minute, raise my hands prophetically, then just say "Episode three", turn around, and walk back out. Don't stay any longer, don't take questions, don't even look at them again. Just walk back out.

I'd release it for free.

I would sell it for 59.99 $

Put out 7 achievements, one in half life, Opposing Force, Blue Shift, HL2, Lost Coast, EP1, EP2 and once you complete all 7 you get a link to a website, which gives you directions to the Eiffel Tower then you find a sheet of paper with instructions on how to find the golden crowbar, which then points you to China, where will see a man in a blue suit with a briefcase, follow him to Germany and finally you find a plane ticket to Washington and then you are given a ride in a limo to VALVe headquarters and Gabe gives you a handshake then pulls the first retail copy out of his ass and hands you it.

I fucking hate you.

Actualy i would wait until e3, the just walk out and pull out a disk, show it to the camera (ep3 it would say) snap it in half and throw it into the crowd and walk off, then watch people try to fix it

[QUOTE=CanadianBill;28704761]Announce that it's on Steam RIGHT NOW during E3 or something similar, bar the doors and watch nerds claw each other to the death[/QUOTE] It would look like this (NSFW, I think, even though it's kinda cheesy): [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMNExagZVrc[/media] After the part where the doors close and they start running.