Turns Out The Emoji Movie is a Trash Pile Riddled With Shitty Product Placement. Who Knew?

[Steel]

[quote]Leondis has cited Toy Story as an inspiration, but The Emoji Movie is more like a severely debased Inside Out that takes place inside of a smartphone. The “plot” is really an excuse to hop from one app to another; there are stops in the lands of Candy Crush, WeChat, Just Dance, Instagram, Spotify, and (for the kids!) Dropbox. That last one proves crucial, saving the fugitive trio from a pursuing robot. “Don’t worry, it can’t get in,” Jailbreak helpfully notes. “It’s illegal malware and this app is secure.” At the climax, a Twitter bird comes to the rescue.

Perplexed as to why lesser-loved streaming channel Crackle is on the homepage of this smartphone? Sony owns it, and sticking around for the end credits confirms that many of the musicians on the pop soundtrack are signed to the corporation’s various imprints. Vertically integrated product placement is to be expected, though the movie’s most egregious plausibility-breaking move is that it takes place on a Sony smartphone; these emojis are halfway between Droid-designed purgatory and their vastly more popular Apple variants. The dialogue invites viewers to marvel at all the wonderful things they can buy or subscribe to. Gene offers a dazed line reading of “This is Spotify?” as he and Jailbreak ride the sonic waves, while a transparent whale (from a whale call) soars over their heads. And yes, [B]there’s a poop emoji voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart, in a part whose total dialogue must surely run well under two minutes.[/B] Anyone can be bought for the right price, but not for too long.[/quote]
[url=http://www.avclub.com/review/emoji-movie-inside-out-crossed-sony-commercial-and-258649]The A.V. Club[/url]
[url=https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_emoji_movie/reviews/]Rotten Tomatoes' collection of bloggers and film journalists and their reviews[/url]

[Fangz]

I knew that it would be bad, but I didn't expect it to be legendary levels of bad.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 better watch out.

[CMX]

[quote]there’s a poop emoji voiced by Sir Patrick Stewart, in a part whose total dialogue must surely run well under two minutes[/quote]
I bet the full line is something in the lines of "oh me"

[Dr. Kyuros]

Foodfight 2?

[Dr.C]

Not unexpected, they were hurting for money badly and need to offset as much as the costs as well as attracting the people who are brought joy when they recognize a brand

[SteakStyes]

Now watch it end up number one over the weekend and as such commercials pop up to rub it in. If it doesn't, then there may still be hope for humanity.

[Coolgame8013]

[QUOTE=Dr. Kyuros;52513413]Foodfight 2?[/QUOTE]

You give this movie too much credit, at least Foodfight looks both visually and technically atrocious.

[video=youtube;uROQ9nplxIY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uROQ9nplxIY[/video]

[Snap]

Pfft, What do these critics know. The only review i'll be looking out for is JacksFilms.

[postal]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/jyv30Nu.png[/img]

it's still early but so far that is exactly the percentage i was hoping to see lol, but that average rating of 1.7 oh dear

it's pretty satisfying tho knowing that some idiots somewhere watched the lego movie, went "pfft we can totally do that too", changed a few things and then proceeded to fail miserably. well, assuming it also bombs at the box office like I hope to fuck it will

[sir whoopsalot]

[QUOTE=postal;52513462][img]http://i.imgur.com/mPXrStl.png[/img]

it's still early but so far that is exactly the percentage i was hoping to see lol, but that average rating of 1.9 oh dear

it's pretty satisfying tho knowing that some idiots somewhere watched the lego movie, went "pfft we can totally do that too", changed a few things and then proceeded to fail miserably. well, assuming it also bombs at the box office like I hope to fuck it will[/QUOTE]

That 0% is always worth a giggle but the 1.9 is something else. Looking forward to seeing a few of the Youtube reviewers having a field day with this.

[Takuat]

C'mooooon bomb and selling the Spidey rights.

[Dr. Kyuros]

[QUOTE=Dr.C;52513419]Not unexpected, they were hurting for money badly and need to offset as much as the costs as well as attracting the people who are brought joy when they recognize a brand[/QUOTE]

They'll only be hurting more then as they just wasted the remainder of it on licensing on top of what an average movie costs nowadays and won't likely get any of it back when this film bombs.

[averygoodname]

why didn't they just do the fucking popeye movie

[mastermaul]

How can they rate this movie poorly in any good conscious when it's [url=http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/tj-miller-slams-silicon-valley-cast-for-not-doing-enough-to-stop-trump_us_59701345e4b062ea5f8f1e26]such a meaningful step in encouraging younger audiences (who don't deserve to laugh at movies by the way) to adopt progressive values and resist trump??!?!?[/url]

[Curls]

They still have no idea why we hate them

[Durrsly]

[QUOTE=averygoodname;52513517]why didn't they just do the fucking popeye movie[/QUOTE]

Because Popeye doesn't the same money milking potential.

You can't easily fill a Popeye movie with loads of product placement and hip new trends that executives think will get as many people to watch it as possible.

[SentientToilet]

[QUOTE=Durrsly;52513535]Because Popeye doesn't the same money milking potential.

You can't easily fill a Popeye movie with loads of product placement and hip new trends that executives think will get as many people to watch it as possible.[/QUOTE]

spinach from whole foods, duh

[SteakStyes]

[QUOTE=averygoodname;52513517]why didn't they just do the fucking popeye movie[/QUOTE]

I imagine that they felt Popeye was too old fashioned and wouldn't 'click' with kids. Also possibly because the only product placement a Popeye movie would have is from Green Giant, Birds Eye or some other company that sells spinach.

[MedicWine]

The main character simultaneously has conflicting goals in the trailer.

[editline]27th July 2017[/editline]

Why do cash grab movies have suck [I]absolute[/I] ass? Can't they just hire a really good writer?

[SentientToilet]

[QUOTE=MedicWine;52513544]The main character simultaneously has conflicting goals in the trailer.

[editline]27th July 2017[/editline]

Why do cash grab movies have suck [I]absolute[/I] ass? Can't they just hire a really good writer?[/QUOTE]

because that requires effort and money and they want less of the former and more of the latter

[Coolgame8013]

[QUOTE=averygoodname;52513517]why didn't they just do the fucking popeye movie[/QUOTE]

It's the same reason why World War 1 isn't so widely talked about, it's mostly labeled by business suits as "Not as interesting.." or "Nobody wants that!".

How do they know you don't want this?

:mystery:

So much like any other out of touch business does, they try to aim for the easy money grabbers, like this "film".

Why so many remakes to famous classics, and sequels to popular franchises continue to
pump out seemingly every year. No one wants to risk failing, they don't want to risk being
[B]WRONG[/B] for doing something different. So they play it safe and continue the same grind.

However with safe bets like this, they don't create anything remotely new or challenging for you to understand which eventually can become tiresome. With the current logic that "We don't want this! " we eventually get stagnation and soon boredom.

I'm guessing Sony didn't want Tartakovsky to make Popeye, is because of this same mentality of
" They don't care about this.. "
How does Sony know this? They don't, not one shred of proof exists that shows us how they know what the world perceives Popeye today.

[Luni]

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;52513468]Watching this movie bomb is gonna be so satisfying.[/QUOTE]

One word: China.

[hexpunK]

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;52513468]Watching this movie bomb is gonna be so satisfying.[/QUOTE]

Watch out, watch out, the foreign market's about.

It's hopefully going to flop domestically, but the foreign market is where a scarily large number of Hollywood flops make all their money back. Largely thanks to China, if I recall it's as they've really only just caught on to what we're producing and anything at all will grab the attention of newcomers to a market.

[postal]

I really hope it does bomb but apparently this is the cheapest production budget sony animation has done yet at just $50 million (vs their usual $100+). It'll probably end up making $45+ million just here in the states especially since there's not really any animated movie competition for the next two weeks, and internationally it'll probably rake in some decent cash like all their animated films do at around another $90+ million. I hope it somehow still does totally bomb tho because this is such a stupid idea blatantly done just so they could stuff in as much product placement as possible, but it'd really have to under-perform pretty fucking hard for that to happen and right now everyone's already predicting a ~$30 million opening here. We'll see if these predictions don't change tomorrow but right now at least I'm not yet convinced

[editline]fart[/editline]

[QUOTE=Luni;52513608]One word: China.[/QUOTE]
maybe, maybe not. Despicable Me 3 netted $136 million just from China (fucking hell), but Lego Batman only got $6 million. It comes out August 3rd in China so we'll find out pretty soon if it takes off cause that could seal the deal on it churning a profit or not.

[MedicWine]

I have a sad feeling that a lot more teenagers than one would hope are going to see this movie to be ironic.

[DokVis]

[media]https://twitter.com/jacksfilms/status/890676255363813376[/media]

Jack is shitposting to hard

[Genericenemy]

Sitting in hope right now we get a good Kermodian rant about this.

[The Vman]

An excerpt from Vox's review:

[quote]"It’s amazing that we can put a man on the moon but movies like this still somehow get made.”[/quote]

[Hollywood SN]

I hope this bombs as hard as possible, for Venom's sake.

[Darth-Veger]

[QUOTE=The Vman;52513646]An excerpt from Vox's review:[/QUOTE]

This movie was not designed to be liked by critiques at all, this movie was made purely because "Emoji's and how they associates with the younger youths who especially are familiar with the icons, young fathers and mothers are probably aware of it as well so its something everyone is familiar about so they go and watch this movie.

Besides, with such a low budget i guess they make a profit anyway and the reason why is because it carries the emojis, had it been another dull animation project people would have ignored it.