Demonstrate How Jesus Walked On Water, Gets Eaten By Crocodiles - Sensationalist Headlines

[quote]A pastor has died after trying to prove one of the more outlandish claims about Jesus – that he could walk on water. Unfortunately Jonathan Mthethwa, from Zimbabwe, opted to do so in a river known locally as 'Crocodile River'. He did not survive the crossing. An eyewitness called Deacon Nkosi shared sme grim details with the Daily Post: "The pastor promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us.[/quote] [url]http://www.esquire.co.uk/culture/news/a14902/pastor-tries-to-demonstrate-how-jesus-walked-on-water-gets-eaten-by-crocodiles/[/url]

god works in mysterious ways

god killed him for claiming to be jesus christ, check mate atheists.

I feel that humor is lost on me, unfortumately. Seems pretty grim way to go.

It's pretty ironic that people setting out to prove outlandish religious claims so often ultimately wind up providing us proof of natural selection instead.

That quote is so casual about it like "Yeah he drowned and got eaten by crocodiles, like right in front of us, it was gnarly." Also, if he actually thought he could walk on water, shouldn't he have tested the waters in, like, a pool or small stream or something? Obviously he couldn't but, still.

further proof that odiles are godless murder machines while gators are chill lizfriends

There was some kinda spiritualist in India or something who stabbed himself in the heart to try to prove he was invincible. Video's on liveleak if anyone cares to find it. Sucks when people die just trying to believe in something hard but the irony can always be appreciated. :v:

Sobek was not pleased with his choice in religion.

[QUOTE=salty peanut v2;52235330]further proof that odiles are godless murder machines while gators are chill lizfriends[/QUOTE] This is true. I can confirm, work with both of them. Crocs are assholes, gators are fat, lazy bros. Crocs are such assholes that the only dude who wanted to be their friend was Steve Irwin (rip you magnificent bastard).

This whole article is written like a half-assed Onion article. (Also it's ironic how the crocodile left the pastor's crocs behind)

What a moron.

[QUOTE=xfreak341xx;52235332]There was some kinda spiritualist in India or something who stabbed himself in the heart to try to prove he was invincible. Video's on liveleak if anyone cares to find it. Sucks when people die just trying to believe in something hard but the irony can always be appreciated. :v:[/QUOTE] Couldn't find that one, but I do love this old video of a tantric fuckwit who says he has the power to kill anyone at will by thinking about them and muttering some mantras. Rationalist shows up, asks him to try and kill him, giving him full permission live on TV. Dude fails, and ultimately tries to weasel out of it by saying that the atheist had put some powerful black magic on himself, which is why the tantric failed to kill him by thinking. :v: [video=youtube;Bmo1a-bimAM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bmo1a-bimAM[/video]

Darwin award?

Why is rural Africa so exceptionally dumb? Is it literally just the lack of schooling?

[QUOTE=Claxx;52240299]Why is rural Africa so exceptionally dumb? Is it literally just the lack of schooling?[/QUOTE] This really isn't a matter of education. If you need to be educated to avoid trying to walk on crocodile infested water then you have some very serious issues and education is the least of your worries. Even an uneducated and dumb person should consider that to be simple common sense.

[QUOTE=Alice3173;52240325]This really isn't a matter of education. If you need to be educated to avoid trying to walk on crocodile infested water then you have some very serious issues and education is the least of your worries. Even an uneducated and dumb person should consider that to be simple common sense.[/QUOTE] Very true. Our ancestors would never have survived if they were as stupid and foolish as this man, the idiots who would pursue activities like this perished, as has this man.

This has been shown to be [url=http://www.snopes.com/pastor-eaten-by-crocodiles/]false[/url]. Though I'm not sure about this site's views towards Snopes, will remove link upon request.

Even if he could walk on water, that doesn't make him immune to crocs :v:

[QUOTE=Claxx;52240299]Why is rural Africa so exceptionally dumb? Is it literally just the lack of schooling?[/QUOTE] This has nothing to do with education. There is always going to be idiots like this guy no matter the country you go to. I mean, look up my state, Florida. Yeah, you hear about shit in my state all the time. In reality, it's pretty uncommon, but Florida Man is a hot title so it's reported on more often than if the same situations happened in other states.

[QUOTE=Claxx;52240299]Why is rural Africa so exceptionally dumb? Is it literally just the lack of schooling?[/QUOTE] As if no other continent has its surplus of idiots. Some people just don't think of their actions ahead of time, and lack the common sense to remind themselves "hey, wait, maybe I shouldn't do this and get myself killed".

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;52234914]god killed him for claiming to be jesus christ, check mate atheists.[/QUOTE] He thought he was doing a Jesus Christ when he was really doing a Saint Peter.