'Human waste' in cans forces shutdown at Coca-Cola plant in Northern Ireland - Sensationalist Headlines

[QUOTE]Police have launched an investigation after what appears to be human waste was found in a shipment of drinks cans at a Co Antrim factory.Multinational Coca-Cola said it was probing the matter with the PSNI. It added products currently on sale were not affected. The night shift at Lisburn's Coca-Cola plant was disrupted last week when a container of cans thought to have arrived from Germany clogged up the machines - only for workers to discover a number were filled with what looked like human waste. "It was absolutely horrible, and the machines had to be turned off for about 15 hours to be cleaned," a source said. "It was unusual because normally the cans come from somewhere else in the UK, but this time they apparently came from Germany. "The rumour is that some poor immigrants could have made that long journey in the lorry and that in their desperation were forced to use the cans instead of a toilet.[/QUOTE] [URL="http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/human-waste-in-cans-forces-shutdown-at-cocacola-plant-in-northern-ireland-35570541.html"]http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/human-waste-in-cans-forces-shutdown-at-cocacola-plant-in-northern-ireland-35570541.html[/URL] So that is why cola is brown:sick:

of course they came from germany

This is really evil

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;52024596]of course they came from germany[/QUOTE] what is this supposed to mean

[QUOTE=QUILTBAG;52024656]what is this supposed to mean[/QUOTE] He was referencing the amount of scat porn that's produced in Germany. It was a decent joke.

[t]http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/en.futurama/images/d/d2/Wormulon_Queen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090609171427[/t]

[QUOTE=*Freezorg*;52024885]He was referencing the amount of scat porn that's produced in Germany. It was a decent joke.[/QUOTE] well I'm not an expert on scat porn statistics but I'll take your word for it

[QUOTE=QUILTBAG;52024939]well I'm not an expert on scat porn statistics but I'll take your word for it[/QUOTE] It's also a South Park joke iirc

:snip:

[QUOTE=QUILTBAG;52024939]well I'm not an expert on scat porn statistics but I'll take your word for it[/QUOTE] You don't need to be a chef to know if the soup is shit. Literally, in this case.

Man, I wonder if that is why coke cans have been tasting really bitter for me recently, and all the stomach discomfort. Jesus christ I am only drinking bootleg cola from now on. I wonder if I can sue these guys.

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;52025026]Man, I wonder if that is why coke cans have been tasting really bitter for me recently, and all the stomach discomfort. Jesus christ I am only drinking bootleg cola from now on. I wonder if I can sue these guys.[/QUOTE] Did you make it past the headline? These cokes never made it out of the factory.

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;52025026]Man, I wonder if that is why coke cans have been tasting really bitter for me recently, and all the stomach discomfort. Jesus christ I am only drinking bootleg cola from now on. I wonder if I can sue these guys.[/QUOTE] No, that's a sign of late-stage soda dependence. You should honestly just quit, and this is coming from a former mega-addict. You will drop a shitton of weight just by not drinking so much soda, believe me. I lost 28lbs in less than two months by stopping my soda intake.

[QUOTE=*Freezorg*;52024885]He was referencing the amount of scat porn that's produced in Germany. It was a decent joke.[/QUOTE] The first people using the expression "Are you shitting me?" were WW2 veterans returning from Germany.

[QUOTE=DOCTOR LIGHT;52025226]No, that's a sign of late-stage soda dependence. You should honestly just quit, and this is coming from a former mega-addict. You will drop a shitton of weight just by not drinking so much soda, believe me. I lost 28lbs in less than two months by stopping my soda intake.[/QUOTE] Used to drink a [I]shitton[/I] of soda back in high school. Transitioned by drinking sparkling water. Haven't drank a drop of soda for about 3 years now, and I seriously can't stand the stuff now.

[QUOTE=Omilinon;52025300]Used to drink a [I]shitton[/I] of soda back in high school. Transitioned by drinking sparkling water. Haven't drank a drop of soda for about 3 years now, and I seriously can't stand the stuff now.[/QUOTE] The late stages of my coke-drinking habits were awful. Constant stomach and chest pain from the acidity, constantly dehydrated..

[QUOTE=Omilinon;52025300]Used to drink a [I]shitton[/I] of soda back in high school. Transitioned by drinking sparkling water. Haven't drank a drop of soda for about 3 years now, and I seriously can't stand the stuff now.[/QUOTE] I buy that seltzer water in bulk

Coca-Cola just can't catch a fucking break in the UK can they :v:

[QUOTE=OvB;52025103]Did you make it past the headline? These cokes never made it out of the factory.[/QUOTE] I didn't, I am dehydrated and sleep deprived and thought I had but did not. Sorry.

destroy all of your soda and switch to water

[QUOTE=usenet;52025469]destroy all of your soda and switch to water[/QUOTE] but i shit in water too

that's still healthier than soda

false, soda is better for you than poop, ask the good General TAO

[QUOTE=DOCTOR LIGHT;52025362]The late stages of my coke-drinking habits were awful. Constant stomach and chest pain from the acidity, constantly dehydrated..[/QUOTE] Stomach acid tends to be more acidic than soda but yeah there's no way that sugar is good for you. I'm trying to switch to Arizona tea and water tbh

How are these cans transported? I'm wondering how some immigrant could get these cans out, shit in them, and then somehow replace them in such a way that no one would notice someone had been in there messing with the cargo, or even SMELL it... I'm just trying to picture how they transport these cans.

Good thing I only drink Pepsi Cola®.

[QUOTE=Sobek-;52026047]How are these cans transported? I'm wondering how some immigrant could get these cans out, shit in them, and then somehow replace them in such a way that no one would notice someone had been in there messing with the cargo, or even SMELL it... I'm just trying to picture how they transport these cans.[/QUOTE] I'm guessing these are cans of the syrup, more like barrels.

[QUOTE=pentium;52026078]Good thing I only drink Pepsi Cola®.[/QUOTE] With a delicious taste that's sure to satisfy, I don't know how anyone could drink something other than PepsiCo Brand Pepsi Cola®. Also available in Max® and Diet.

Jesus christ that's horrible. Just imagine, opening up what you THINK is a can of Coca-Cola only to find [sp]mountain dew[/sp] inside.

Good think I only drink BARRY's RED COLA® mmmmmmmmmm