Upset over divorce, metro Detroit man carries 'warning don't get married ever' sign - Sensationalist Headlines

[quote=WXYZ]LIVONIA, Mich. (WXYZ) - Divorce can be emotionally and financially devastating. And many people don't share that they're going through the difficult process with close friends and family. But one metro Detroit man is venting publicly by walking around major intersections in Livonia with a sign that reads - "Warning. Don't get married ever." The 49-year-old man, who asked to only be referred to as Ron, says his wife of 20 years recently got a new job. And two days later, he says she asked him for a divorce. [/quote] [url=http://www.wxyz.com/news/region/wayne-county/upset-over-divorce-metro-detroit-man-carries-warning-dont-get-married-ever-sign]Source[/url]. Here is both footage and an interview with the man: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOhJ0O3F7sM[/media]

A lot of older people have warned me not to ever get married but at the same time a lot of others have told me that it is totally worth it. Everyone's experience is different, this guy seems to think his sad anecdote applies to everyone and every situation.

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;52321857]A lot of older people have warned me not to ever get married but at the same time a lot of others have told me that it is totally worth it. Everyone's experience is different, this guy seems to think his sad anecdote applies to everyone and every situation.[/QUOTE] It seems marriage law in some US states is pretty messed-up, so it strongly depends on where you marry (and, unfortunately, often your gender afaik).

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;52321857]A lot of older people have warned me not to ever get married but at the same time a lot of others have told me that it is totally worth it. Everyone's experience is different, this guy seems to think his sad anecdote applies to everyone and every situation.[/QUOTE] Well, marriage is seriously important, and it's failing these days. Because the court systems, with crap like the Duluth model and other such malicious actors, are so utterly lobsided, that not getting married is basically an act of self preservation at this point. I know a self made guy who's wife of ten years left him, and though she had no hand in any of his businesses she's taken all five of his restaurants, three houses, one apartment and the lions share of his liquid money, to the tune of around five million dollars. And was once convinced he was hiding more from her, and hit him with a $30,000 bill for an audit, which found nothing. He's one of the best people i know, and she left him a condo "Some" money and his BMW X5. Nothing else. Marriage is like a pact of support for your children before anything else. It's something you should maintain through awful waters even more than the good ones. But with power like that, is it any wonder the concept of marriage is on the path to abandonment. This shit is in a seriously broken state, and the effect it'll have on future generations is going to be unthinkably bad. The importance of having both parents for a kid literally cannot be overstated, and in the us, 31% of kids live without two parents. It's a massive issue, and empowering resentful snakes like the woman here is doing us no favors. So yeah, while his sob story doesn't match all marriages, it is a symptom of a fantastically serious problem that i'm willing to say is actually representative of at modest majority of divorces.

I'd be scared to get married too with the stories of people (usually the men) getting completely ass-fucked in the divorce and losing all or most of the stuff that [B][I]they[/I][/B] earned, not their spouse. There's obviously something seriously wrong with this system.

[QUOTE=Trilby Harlow;52322040] I know a self made guy who's wife of ten years left him, and though she had no hand in any of his businesses she's taken all five of his restaurants, three houses, one apartment and the lions share of his liquid money, to the tune of around five million dollars. [/QUOTE] How the fuck did that even get through court? How is it fair and balanced/justice that she takes everything and he's left with next to nothing?

[QUOTE=Trilby Harlow;52322040]Well, marriage is seriously important, and it's failing these days. Because the court systems, with crap like the Duluth model and other such malicious actors, are so utterly lobsided, that not getting married is basically an act of self preservation at this point. I know a self made guy who's wife of ten years left him, and though she had no hand in any of his businesses she's taken all five of his restaurants, three houses, one apartment and the lions share of his liquid money, to the tune of around five million dollars. And was once convinced he was hiding more from her, and hit him with a $30,000 bill for an audit, which found nothing. He's one of the best people i know, and she left him a condo "Some" money and his BMW X5. Nothing else. Marriage is like a pact of support for your children before anything else. It's something you should maintain through awful waters even more than the good ones. But with power like that, is it any wonder the concept of marriage is on the path to abandonment. This shit is in a seriously broken state, and the effect it'll have on future generations is going to be unthinkably bad. The importance of having both parents for a kid literally cannot be overstated, and in the us, 31% of kids live without two parents. It's a massive issue, and empowering resentful snakes like the woman here is doing us no favors. So yeah, while his sob story doesn't match all marriages, it is a symptom of a fantastically serious problem that i'm willing to say is actually representative of at modest majority of divorces.[/QUOTE] Ugh, I know of someone who got put the wringer as well and made me very skeptical of it all. From a legal point of view, I am curious though - how much can a person safeguard their interests by,say, insisting on a pre-nup agreement in case "till death do us part" turns into "she/he be cray-cray"?

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;52321857]A lot of older people have warned me not to ever get married but at the same time a lot of others have told me that it is totally worth it. Everyone's experience is different, this guy seems to think his sad anecdote applies to everyone and every situation.[/QUOTE] I don't know about marriage. Why can't you just live and be together without getting married. Why we gotta bring paperwork into this that's going to make life difficult (Especially for men) if it turns out to be a wash

The irony will always be that people who do marriage well don't even need to be married to begin with, as is often the case with completely artificial and arbitrary societal constructs.

[QUOTE=TheTalon;52322379]I don't know about marriage. Why can't you just live and be together without getting married. Why we gotta bring paperwork into this that's going to make life difficult (Especially for men) if it turns out to be a wash[/QUOTE] Over here at least, there's a good amount of tax benefits you can get iinm. It also helps with various other legal stuff if something happens to one of the partners, which I think is also the case in the US. Germany defaults to separation of wealth though (with some caveats regarding gains made during the marriage, which are mostly equalised afterwards). Additionally, religious and administrative marriage are completely separate here (but most couples who want to do both will do them in immediate sequence).

[QUOTE=27X;52322439]The irony will always be that people who do marriage well don't even need to be married to begin with, as is often the case with completely artificial and arbitrary societal constructs.[/QUOTE] What is being able to be covered by your spouse's medical insurance for 500? [editline]7th June 2017[/editline] It's not just "The Society Thing Man". Well, it is, but it's also one that allows two people to live comfortably in various ways often dealing with otherwise unbearable bureaucratic clusterfuck.

[QUOTE=gufu;52322491]What is being able to be covered by your spouse's medical insurance for 500?[/QUOTE] Something that should be availible without marriage

[QUOTE=gufu;52322491]What is being able to be covered by your spouse's medical insurance for 500? [editline]7th June 2017[/editline] It's not just "The Society Thing Man". Well, it is, but it's also one that allows two people to live comfortably in various ways often dealing with otherwise unbearable bureaucratic clusterfuck.[/QUOTE] You realize you're just making my point for me right? Right. Artificial incentivization and enforcement are just that, artificial.

[QUOTE=27X;52322529]You realize your just making my point for me right? Right. Artificial incentivization and enforcement are just that, artificial.[/QUOTE] True, but until society changes, a required one. You aren't wrong, it's just the only viable choice at the moment.

[QUOTE=gokiyono;52322499]Something that should be availible without marriage[/QUOTE] Obviously, but it isn't.

[QUOTE=gufu;52322532]True, but until society changes, a required one. You aren't wrong, it's just the only viable choice at the moment.[/QUOTE] It's not required in the slightest. I'm pretty sure not a single couple thinks "We [I]need [/I]to get married to use these bureaucratic benefits"

If you draft a document that says (paraphrasing) "you forfeit gold-digging", and your fiancee signs it, later to be divorced, does this document have any weight in a court room?

[QUOTE=Shirt.;52322669]If you draft a document that says (paraphrasing) "you forfeit gold-digging", and your fiancee signs it, later to be divorced, does this document have any weight in a court room?[/QUOTE] It's called a prenup and yeah sometimes. Not always though, especially when kids get involved and depending on the terms and conditions of each person. They also aren't unlimited in what you can do with them, you can't just say "this person gives up the right to ever get anything from me." But they are still good for things like protecting you from having heaps of debt falling upon you or for keeping your business together and under your control.

[QUOTE=thelurker1234;52322807]It's called a prenup and yeah sometimes. Not always though, especially when kids get involved and depending on the terms and conditions of each person. They also aren't unlimited in what you can do with them, you can't just say "this person gives up the right to ever get anything from me." But they are still good for things like protecting you from having heaps of debt falling upon you or for keeping your business together and under your control.[/QUOTE] I heard that pre-nups can be overruled in court, so there's that. I don't understand marriage in this day and age. It seems more like it's all for show/to show everyone that you love each other, and I guess it's a nice way to gather families. Although I dont know what it does bureaucracy/status-wise. Problem is that many times people can ruin themselves on the marriage ceremony alone, like some kind of Disney fairytale, using lots of money to impress. In the end you can do all this without all the huff and puff of a marriage. It all seems really stressful(been in a few and it usually is pretty nice party wise, put all the planning and economising seems excessive).

I would never get married without a prenuptial or whatever they are called. Especially if I own a business. If we are married we share everything, so getting upset over it would just show that they still want a chance to get your shit. My sister and her fiancé have been together for almost 8 years, maybe more I don't quite remember but only last year did they get engaged. They are in my opinion doing it right. Most people seem to get married way too early.

Ugh, why does the government have to make things like love so complex. Marriages should be required to have a contract like a prenup drawn up before you get a marriage license just to cut down on the red tape and ensure people getting married have at least thought of what might happen if they end it and who gets what. Right now it just defaults to splitting the assets at the least, god help the man if you have kids and the woman gets custody, usually forcefully so she can get most of the assets.

[QUOTE=Thaard;52322842]I heard that pre-nups can be overruled in court, so there's that. I don't understand marriage in this day and age. It seems more like it's all for show/to show everyone that you love each other, and I guess it's a nice way to gather families. Although I dont know what it does bureaucracy/status-wise. Problem is that many times people can ruin themselves on the marriage ceremony alone, like some kind of Disney fairytale, using lots of money to impress. In the end you can do all this without all the huff and puff of a marriage. It all seems really stressful(been in a few and it usually is pretty nice party wise, put all the planning and economising seems excessive).[/QUOTE] Actually talk to a lawyer if you're considering a prenup and are wondering what the limits are but i don't think it happens where the whole thing just gets thrown. What I think usually happens is certain stipulations go because, for example, kids are involved. If kids are involved the govt is happy to bulldoze you. For good reason tbh tho.

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;52322605]It's not required in the slightest. I'm pretty sure not a single couple thinks "We [I]need [/I]to get married to use these bureaucratic benefits"[/QUOTE] You are extremely naive if you really think this. Sometimes it is the only reason for long term couples to get married. "We are pretty much living a married life, we should make it official so we can enjoy some of the benefits at least" is a common line of thought.

[QUOTE=Fetret;52323370]You are extremely naive if you really think this. Sometimes it is the only reason for long term couples to get married. "We are pretty much living a married life, we should make it official so we can enjoy some of the benefits at least" is a common line of thought.[/QUOTE] Basically. My BF and I have been living together for a few years now and the thought that he can't use my insurance if needed is kinda scary. I'm sure there are other legal benefits we would qualify for if we were married.

[QUOTE=Trilby Harlow;52322040]Well, marriage is seriously important, and it's failing these days. Because the court systems, with crap like the Duluth model and other such malicious actors, are so utterly lobsided, that not getting married is basically an act of self preservation at this point. I know a self made guy who's wife of ten years left him, and though she had no hand in any of his businesses she's taken all five of his restaurants, three houses, one apartment and the lions share of his liquid money, to the tune of around five million dollars. And was once convinced he was hiding more from her, and hit him with a $30,000 bill for an audit, which found nothing. He's one of the best people i know, and she left him a condo "Some" money and his BMW X5. Nothing else. Marriage is like a pact of support for your children before anything else. It's something you should maintain through awful waters even more than the good ones. But with power like that, is it any wonder the concept of marriage is on the path to abandonment. This shit is in a seriously broken state, and the effect it'll have on future generations is going to be unthinkably bad. The importance of having both parents for a kid literally cannot be overstated, and in the us, 31% of kids live without two parents. It's a massive issue, and empowering resentful snakes like the woman here is doing us no favors. So yeah, while his sob story doesn't match all marriages, it is a symptom of a fantastically serious problem that i'm willing to say is actually representative of at modest majority of divorces.[/QUOTE] As we have a local airforce base, there's a term that I've seen floating around regarding relationships and marriages: "Dependopottamos". Basically women looking for relationships with airmen purely because they can get what they want financially out of them. Fucking gross if you ask me.

As a person with a 7 year long relationship with a woman i'm moving in with currently, here's my read on it. Marriage is a scary proposition that seems highly unbalanced in the event you need to get rid of it. I've seen two of my brothers divorce, and it's been rough, they didn't actually lose much in that divorce however. My one brother is quite well off, and he's literally never lived on a budget before, he's said to me that now he does, but his budget clearly includes almost 20 grand worth of monthly expenses(he likes a lot of things). My other brother is also doing quite fine after his divorce. Their kids? Honestly some of the smartest kids I've ever seen and they're extremely well mannered. Certainly better than most kids I see these days when I'm at the mall(where my office is located). For myself, I see myself getting married but I think the real issue for marriage currently is how we as a society treat relationships. Me and my girlfriend are partners in everything, we share everything, we talk about everything, the term second half describes this kind of partnership perfectly. So marriage seems like a natural path for us. I've seen a lot of marriages fall apart(my dad was a divorce lawyer) and I've heard of some of the worst stories you can fucking imagine, so I know the horror stories of it and the less than horrific stories of it. And from what I've heard, most often it comes from people being unable to respect each other, or changing so drastically as people as they aged that they no longer fit together as a couple, but that seems like something that would occur from them failing to manage their relationship. TLDR It's scary but worth it if you trust yourself and your partner and know you can continue to communicate.

[QUOTE=TheTalon;52322379]I don't know about marriage. Why can't you just live and be together without getting married. Why we gotta bring paperwork into this that's going to make life difficult (Especially for men) if it turns out to be a wash[/QUOTE] Tax breaks.

[QUOTE=reedbo;52323463]Basically. My BF and I have been living together for a few years now and the thought that he can't use my insurance if needed is kinda scary. I'm sure there are other legal benefits we would qualify for if we were married.[/QUOTE] Find out if you have some sort of commonlaw status at this point after a few years some places grant you something similar

[QUOTE=BuffaloBill;52322337]How the fuck did that even get through court? How is it fair and balanced/justice that she takes everything and he's left with next to nothing?[/QUOTE] (Disclaimer: I recognize that divorce proceedings are extremely skewed and reform is needed, so I'm not defending the system as a whole when saying this) The idea is that if you are in a relationship where one person is the 'breadwinner' and the other is the 'homesteader', the person who is staying home taking care of things (in particular children) is putting their career development on hold to essentially work an unpaid job. If you quit your job to take care of the kids for ten years while the spouse worked, it would be unfair if a divorce meant that you end up penniless and they get everything. It would also keep spouses trapped in shitty or even abusive marriages because they know they're screwed if they leave. In theory the court is supposed to look at what the two partners have been doing with their lives to determine who gets what. If one spouse has been working while the other is a lazy slob, then the lazy partner is not supposed to wind up with half the assets if they divorce. If one spouse came into the relationship with a few million in assets that were kept independent of the relationship, then theoretically those assets should be untouchable during divorce proceedings. The idea is to evaluate what each partner has actually contributed to the relationship as a whole, not just 'who earned the money that bought the stuff'. Then when everything is evaluated, it might end up that one partner deserves the majority of the assets to rebuild marketable skills so they can re-enter the workforce to compensate for lost time. In practice, though, it often means the wife gets half or more of what the husband owns, with seemingly no consideration for how much she actually contributed or where those assets came from. That's a bad thing, and it's a problem, and it needs to be fixed even if the underlying principle is (IMO) a decent idea.

[QUOTE=27X;52322439]The irony will always be that people who do marriage well don't even need to be married to begin with, as is often the case with completely artificial and arbitrary societal constructs.[/QUOTE] Marriage isn't really arbitrary