Homeless man taking a shit in my house, what do i do? - General

I was closing the door to my house when a man in rags ran in my house, went in my bathroom, closed the door, and five seconds later heard a gigantic fart followed by a “WHOOOOOOO!!!” What do i do?

Punch him in his homeless face.

Board up the door.

take a video of you kicking him out and post it here.

Charge him some amount of money for water use.

Find his box and take a shit in it.

Take a video and send it to youtube.

turn the power off and then lock the door from your side, wear a mask and stand near the door, when he comes out then scream in his face with a knife/gun/pencil and chase him out, or shoot him with a paintball gun.

what the shit

[QUOTE=Raxas;23764032]Find his box and take a shit in it.[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/295/poopc.jpg[/IMG] Btw hes still in there. Should i check on him?

ok what the christ

Why did you leave your door open in the first place?

is this for real? call the cops you sound like this happens every day or something.

[QUOTE=Ori Child;23765110]Why did you leave your door open in the first place?[/QUOTE] I was in the middle of closing it when the homeless dude stopped the door. Ok hes been in there for like an hour now what do i do???? I dont hear anything inside. [editline]05:07PM[/editline] [QUOTE=war_man333;23765124]is this for real? call the cops you sound like this happens every day or something.[/QUOTE] Im a very weird kid, shit weirder than this has happened to me.

[QUOTE=SS_Redux;23765133]I was in the middle of closing it when the homeless dude stopped the door. Ok hes been in there for like an hour now what do i do???? I dont hear anything inside.[/QUOTE] barge down the door and give him oral sex.

I'm calling troll, [i]SS_Redux[/i].

He might be asleep in your bath? Just say 'Oi hurry up! other people need to use the loo too!' and then say 'I'm charging you 7.50(of your currency) an hour you know!' Might make him/her move

[QUOTE=SS_Redux;23765133]I was in the middle of closing it when the homeless dude stopped the door. Ok hes been in there for like an hour now what do i do???? I dont hear anything inside.[/QUOTE] call the cops.

Or call out in a manly voice... so you may have to get a friend over to help :buddy: And pretend to be the police.

OP asks for advice in facepunch to ged rid of a homeless person one hour later, still hasn't done anything about it.

I just opened the door- He fell asleep taking a shit. Now what?

Tie him up in cellotape, stick him in a room on his own/basement and sell him on ebay or something. Or cellotape him up then call the police so they don't have to worry about restraining him... and it will give them a laugh.

[IMG]http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2007/9/passed-out-while-taking-a-dump.jpg[/IMG] ...

[QUOTE=SS_Redux;23765446][IMG]http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2007/9/passed-out-while-taking-a-dump.jpg[/IMG] ...[/QUOTE] write the time and date one a piece of paper, take another picture of him and put the piece of paper in the picture so we know that you aren't trolling

ok it's fake move along. why use a different website to upload pictures.

In that cause i would recommend super glue... a whole bucket of it, all over him. Then call the police and when they yell 'freeze!!!' It will be funny.

[QUOTE=SS_Redux;23765446][IMG]http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/2007/9/passed-out-while-taking-a-dump.jpg[/IMG] ...[/QUOTE] This picture was apparently uploaded 2007.

This thread is awesome.

God damnit he woke up, said "Thanks, bud.", and left. I tried yelling at him but he ran as soon as i did. And that pic was NOT FAKE, 3picFail. What now?

[QUOTE=SS_Redux;23765537]God damnit he woke up, said "Thanks, bud.", and left. I tried yelling at him but he ran as soon as i did. And that pic was NOT FAKE, 3picFail. What now?[/QUOTE] same thing. use paper timestamp and take a picture of your bathroom should be the same bathroom right?