I'm gonna start off with stating I know facepunch isn't my personal Blog or anything like that, But I'm not really sure where I can turn besides strangers on the internet so here goes.
I'm twenty-two still living at home with my younger brother who is 18 and my fifty-six year old mother who is dying.
My Mother was diagnosed with lung cancer back in January of 2012. We were told that her cancer type was very treatable and so we did our best to keep our heads above water and remain as optimistic as we could. After several Chemo and radiation sessions she was in remission for a few months and all was well and good. Then In either late January or early February of last year. My brother came into my room telling me that my mom was acting funny, like she couldn't hear what he was saying. Before I could even get out of bed we heard her collapse to the kitchen floor, By the time we had gotten to the kitchen she was seizing in the floor. The ambulance came and went and we were informed that she had had the seizure because of a tumor in her brain.
More Chemo and radiation and Gamma knife operations through out the past year. Near the end of last year she had her last Gamma knife surgery. It has left her in a constant state of confusion. Unable to form complete sentences, mixing up her words, that sort of thing. Her motor functions are lessening every day, we basically feed her, help her to and from the bathroom and the steps in between. She's constantly tired as well. She went to the Doctor about a week ago and we were told basically that this was her final stretch and there was really nothing more that they could do for her.
I've been a mamma's boy all my life, My father was never in the picture and she's the only real shelter that I've known. Luckily I have an amazing family but I dunno, I just don't feel comfortable talking to them about things like death and whatnot, Especially if I get worked up and start crying or something along those lines because then they'll get all huggy and I don't know about you but if I'm crying and snot bubbly, hugs are the last thing I want.
I guess I'm just asking is what should I expect to come in the following weeks/months/even years? Just...ways to cope with someone's passing or things to know when planning a funeral...things like that, if anyone has gone through it, just some pointers would be great.
If this isn't the place where this goes, sorry. and if this doesn't even belong in the forum anywhere then I guess lock it. Anyway, thank's for reading.
Hope this isn't offensive.
*Shed manly tears*
None taken.
The only thing I can say is that you're gonna have to stay strong. If there's no one to take care of you then you can't let yourself get too depressed to do stuff, you're gonna have to get your own groceries, get your own clothes, do your laundry, clean the house, attend school/go to work. And always remember the good times you shared with your mother :)
I'd say in the coming weeks/months: prepare for your mom's death which is clearly happening, try to be with her and/or help out her while you still can, and try to get a job.
Ideally, if you can manage everything well, your mom's death will be a relief and you will live on as good as ever. Hopefully. So I wish you all the best, be strong-spirited, etc.
we've covered taking over the responsibilities, I cover cooking, bill paying, laundry and general house maintenance and my brother covers the rest. So luckily that stuff is covered.
Don't get into alcohol, drugs or debt.
Are you doing any job ? Get skilled at something.
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